FIC: The Vow I Never Took - Sean and Elijah - G
Title: 'The Vow I Never Took'
Rating: G
Pairing: Sean Astin/Elijah Wood
Prompt: natural
Summery: Sometimes the unspoken vow is the most binding.
Author's Notes: Totally unbetaed, so any goof-ups are mine. This will be reposted to the Troubled Tribble community on LJ. It is part of a 'kissing' prompt table that I stopped writing on a while ago and very much want to finish.
Falling in love with Elijah had been the most natural thing in the world. He'd barely had time to wonder what the hell he was feeling before he was completely and hopelessly smitten.
In the long years since the time of his fall (as he had come to think of it) he had never once broken the vows he made to Chris. He'd flirted with breaking them to be sure. He'd longed to break them more times than he could count. But he'd never actually taken that last, final step.
His love for Elijah remained unconsummated, at least physically. And the extent of his emotional philandering was something he found himself surprisingly able to rationalize. The passionate kisses they had exchanged led nowhere and he took comfort from his razor thin hold on fidelity. But it was cold comfort. Unsatisfying comfort.
His infidelity to Elijah was something he tried not to think about. It counted and he knew it counted. And even though Elijah never troubled him with so much as one word of reproach, Sean knew he had been profoundly hurt by it.
So much was unsaid. So much was unrealized except in dreams and lonely yearnings. He knew that true fidelity was not of the body, but of the heart. And at those rare moments when they were together Sean looked into Elijah's eyes and saw in their cool, blue depths the pain of those times when Sean had broken the vow he never took.
He longed to pull his life out of the box in which he had entrapped it and declare himself free to openly worship the beautiful man who was his heart's desire. He longed to find his true voice and finally take the unspoken vow that would bind his heart to Elijah's heart forever.
This entry was originally posted at http://rakshi.dreamwidth.org/1275627.html. Feel free to comment there or here. Makes no difference to me. Happy Days!!