(no subject)
Having for the first time in awhile, a time to reflect, but more importantly a time to heal... i remember feverishly putting in obscure entries in some possibility of grasping something that i didn't feel like i was.
It's funny how when we are younger we have this convoluted way of looking at ourselves, how we can't look outside of our own angst ridden box.
To me it interesting thinking of how different my life could of been, of what path it would of taken if i followed going somewhere else... but i don't allow myself to think of that to much, to much time in the past tends to make you forget the time you are in, i am comfortable with who i am now, more routed.
I seen my psychiatrist today, looks like i will be an anti-depressants for the rest of the year. The guy is actually really interesting... he tells me that he is a bit surprised by me, i tend to be "worldly" and really 'informed' lol, hey i don't mind getting a compliment from a doctored professional.
Something i really never new is that because of my parents genetics that i am pre-disposed to having lower serotonin levels, so when something in my life happens , that causes those levels to drop that i have a hard time dealing with anxiety and stress and depression.
So with much thought, a few conversations with my girl and my bro, who has started taking anti-depressants i was finally convinced to seek help that i was to rebellious to take previous years to this.
Suffice it to say i am confident in my decision.
It's funny how when we are younger we have this convoluted way of looking at ourselves, how we can't look outside of our own angst ridden box.
To me it interesting thinking of how different my life could of been, of what path it would of taken if i followed going somewhere else... but i don't allow myself to think of that to much, to much time in the past tends to make you forget the time you are in, i am comfortable with who i am now, more routed.
I seen my psychiatrist today, looks like i will be an anti-depressants for the rest of the year. The guy is actually really interesting... he tells me that he is a bit surprised by me, i tend to be "worldly" and really 'informed' lol, hey i don't mind getting a compliment from a doctored professional.
Something i really never new is that because of my parents genetics that i am pre-disposed to having lower serotonin levels, so when something in my life happens , that causes those levels to drop that i have a hard time dealing with anxiety and stress and depression.
So with much thought, a few conversations with my girl and my bro, who has started taking anti-depressants i was finally convinced to seek help that i was to rebellious to take previous years to this.
Suffice it to say i am confident in my decision.