Niky's News
I've not written on here for so long, I thought I better write something - get my thoughts down in black and white so to speak. These past two months have been a whirlwind, and I've sort of been picked up and taken along for the ride.
I've fallen head over heels in love - What? I hear you say - Again? Yes, I have fallen in love, but this time it's different - it's so hard to explain, but I will try.
I met John online, or rather he found me, and started talking to me one night, when I was bored and I would have spoken to pretty much anyone to break the tedium. He made me laugh, he was a little geeky, but I liked that - he put me at ease right away and I came away from that first coversation with a smile on my face, and the hope that we would talk again. As the days went on, we talked every night - he told me everything about himself, and I spilled my guts to him too (well it was only fair!) Slowly over the weeks I came to realise that I was developing feelings for him. He kept asking if we could meet, and finally I gave in, swallowing my fear and said ok. You see I've not been too lucky in love - I jump in with two feet, showering my love with compliments, poetry and love - I think sometimes I might smother them. I realised one ex back what I was doing and I changed. But it didn't make me happy, being someone that I wasn't - so I decided to back off from relationships for a while - and so for 8 months I didn't date - had the occasional liason with my ex - who was ever willing to share my bed and not my life (boy in a mans body) and it suited me then.
John was different, I was so scared of making the same mistakes I was cautious for the first time in my life. I didn't jump in with two feet as I always did, but when I saw his name sign in on messenger, I felt my stomach flutter and I couldn't wait to talk to him. I should have realised then I was a gonna.
Well....thats all for now - I promise to update later :)
I've fallen head over heels in love - What? I hear you say - Again? Yes, I have fallen in love, but this time it's different - it's so hard to explain, but I will try.
I met John online, or rather he found me, and started talking to me one night, when I was bored and I would have spoken to pretty much anyone to break the tedium. He made me laugh, he was a little geeky, but I liked that - he put me at ease right away and I came away from that first coversation with a smile on my face, and the hope that we would talk again. As the days went on, we talked every night - he told me everything about himself, and I spilled my guts to him too (well it was only fair!) Slowly over the weeks I came to realise that I was developing feelings for him. He kept asking if we could meet, and finally I gave in, swallowing my fear and said ok. You see I've not been too lucky in love - I jump in with two feet, showering my love with compliments, poetry and love - I think sometimes I might smother them. I realised one ex back what I was doing and I changed. But it didn't make me happy, being someone that I wasn't - so I decided to back off from relationships for a while - and so for 8 months I didn't date - had the occasional liason with my ex - who was ever willing to share my bed and not my life (boy in a mans body) and it suited me then.
John was different, I was so scared of making the same mistakes I was cautious for the first time in my life. I didn't jump in with two feet as I always did, but when I saw his name sign in on messenger, I felt my stomach flutter and I couldn't wait to talk to him. I should have realised then I was a gonna.
Well....thats all for now - I promise to update later :)