The tale of the Amazing Haitian Gentleman
Tonight was rather beautiful and sparkly. I grew deliriously happy after meeting a man who I shall refer to as the Amazing Haitian Gentleman, since I don't know his name. I think he may have been a little crazy.
I was sitting on a bench listening to my CD player around ten o'clock in the evening, since I was waiting for Richard Hell to get off work. The Amazing Haitian Gentleman sat down next to me, tugged off my giant headphones, and explained that he felt the need to stop and talk to me because my beauty stopped him in his tracks. He then went off on a tangent to explain that he was gorgeous. "I used to be handsome, back when I was younger, but now I'll just settle for gorgeous."
We briefly discoursed on religion. The Amazing Haitian Gentleman identified himself as a Muslim who was open to everything and who wants to go everywhere.
Somehow he ended telling me about his 'job,' which he explained as just wandering around trying to pop everyones' collars. I was confused by this, but upon listening to him talk for a few minutes I ascertained that "popping everyones' collars" was somehow synonymous with "altering everyones' worldview and disrupting the status quo."
At last he told me that it was probably time for him to leave, even though he was somewhat reluctant to do so. "You see, I don't want to go, but if I stay here any longer we'll end up getting married. And I'm not sure you're ready for that." I gravely thanked him for taking that into consideration.
Amazing Hatian Gentleman: I'm glad we had this conversation though. From the way you talk I'm sure you could take my ideas and say them in in a way that they would make sense to educated people. The way I talk, it may not make sense to those sorts. But I love popping collars. That's the great thing about it. I pop their collars, and once in a while, I get mine popped back. That's why I love people. But I'm glad I got to convey it to someone who speaks good English.
Me: I think that you speak English pretty well. You have an accent but your grammar is perfect.
Amazing Hatian Gentleman: *glare* You know what I'm talking about. Don't you go trying to pop my collar!
I spent twenty minutes reflecting upon the dialogue and laughing uproariously to myself afterwards. Thank you, Amazing Haitian Gentleman.
I was sitting on a bench listening to my CD player around ten o'clock in the evening, since I was waiting for Richard Hell to get off work. The Amazing Haitian Gentleman sat down next to me, tugged off my giant headphones, and explained that he felt the need to stop and talk to me because my beauty stopped him in his tracks. He then went off on a tangent to explain that he was gorgeous. "I used to be handsome, back when I was younger, but now I'll just settle for gorgeous."
We briefly discoursed on religion. The Amazing Haitian Gentleman identified himself as a Muslim who was open to everything and who wants to go everywhere.
Somehow he ended telling me about his 'job,' which he explained as just wandering around trying to pop everyones' collars. I was confused by this, but upon listening to him talk for a few minutes I ascertained that "popping everyones' collars" was somehow synonymous with "altering everyones' worldview and disrupting the status quo."
At last he told me that it was probably time for him to leave, even though he was somewhat reluctant to do so. "You see, I don't want to go, but if I stay here any longer we'll end up getting married. And I'm not sure you're ready for that." I gravely thanked him for taking that into consideration.
Amazing Hatian Gentleman: I'm glad we had this conversation though. From the way you talk I'm sure you could take my ideas and say them in in a way that they would make sense to educated people. The way I talk, it may not make sense to those sorts. But I love popping collars. That's the great thing about it. I pop their collars, and once in a while, I get mine popped back. That's why I love people. But I'm glad I got to convey it to someone who speaks good English.
Me: I think that you speak English pretty well. You have an accent but your grammar is perfect.
Amazing Hatian Gentleman: *glare* You know what I'm talking about. Don't you go trying to pop my collar!
I spent twenty minutes reflecting upon the dialogue and laughing uproariously to myself afterwards. Thank you, Amazing Haitian Gentleman.