ramble ramble
So I met with an advisor yesterday to disuss next semester, graduation and internships. I made my "schedule" nothings final yet because registation didnt open yet, but it better all work out because well i dont have a choice. there are no other options for this semester. I need 3 required classes for graduation, and they are only offered during one time slot WITH the allowance for 20 students...even though EVERY commARTS student needs to take them. I am a senior, but wont graduate on time. I need 7 more credits after next semester in which ill take an internship over the summer. NYIT costs you 747 bux PER credit over the summer. I have no choice. Its either that, or 11,000 and change. for an extra semester.
As I was sitting there making my schedule, i just felt sick to my stomach. All of these thoughts run through your head. Am i making the right choice? what if i dont get into these classes? DO i really want to take advertising classes? Is that what i REALLY want to do? Am I meant to do that?! ITs scary because it feels so final. Set in stone, even though its not, its just pressure. Pressure is everywhere, and its just how you deal with it. There is always someone better than you, there is always someone who has it worse than you. I tell myself this alot.
So schedule goes as follows..
Monday JOUR101 2-5pm
Tuesday COMM 401 2-440 , ADVG 150 545-825
Thursday FILM 210 930-1230
Friday ADVG 301 930-330
YEAH, Great times. Rush hour driving and everything to Westbury. Ext 41N. AWESOME.
Hopefully I will get to keepthis job. Ican work Monday nd tuesday mornings and all day Wednesday, and then the shooting range on the weekends i suppose.. oi.
But everyone as it rough i guess this age, this time in life. so who am i to complain? i know for me, its hard to force myself to do things i dont want to do. I know im going to be pissed driving to class, and driving home in rush hour, especially if im not happy with how things turn out. the other thought is after this semester ill be done. no more school until i get a masters..but hopefully ill work for a bit, or something.
I've just been so bitter about my school career this semester. Projects are piling up. HUGE projects. I just dont want to do school work anymore. Im not motivated, to do it, I do the work out of fear that I dont want to fail, even if its not my best work or not. Ive been horribly procastinating too. I dont even have a valid excuse that my test grades are bad. I dont erally do anything. I dont really hangout that much with anyone, i dont work THAT much its just im not interested or, I just dont have patience..its a mix.
I've been so snappy towards mom and sam. Sams just hard to deal with anyway. Im going to boston on Saturday with anthony for a vegetarian food festival, and she wanted to come, and honestly, anthony and i dont want to deal with her. shes very difficult to deal with, and yeah she has good days, or moments,but i just dont want to go with her. I feel bad. That inner feeling inside hurts. My mom said last night "maybe one day you'll get along better, your all eachother has". and its true. And that statement hurts too, and i feel bad, but i want to enjoy my saturday with my boyfriend.
I hate hearing myself bitch and complain. Its so annoying. Who the fuck wants to hear it? No one cares, AND everyone has shit. You just sound so negative. But you have to let it out. You have to empty your bin. Ive come to terms I think, even though I have sudden bursts, that this is just a transition phase. This week is better than last. I was flipping out last week, i exploded. But thats whole different entry, and I've calmed down.
all and all, today is a long one. hope you all enjoy your halloween tomorrow night.
As I was sitting there making my schedule, i just felt sick to my stomach. All of these thoughts run through your head. Am i making the right choice? what if i dont get into these classes? DO i really want to take advertising classes? Is that what i REALLY want to do? Am I meant to do that?! ITs scary because it feels so final. Set in stone, even though its not, its just pressure. Pressure is everywhere, and its just how you deal with it. There is always someone better than you, there is always someone who has it worse than you. I tell myself this alot.
So schedule goes as follows..
Monday JOUR101 2-5pm
Tuesday COMM 401 2-440 , ADVG 150 545-825
Thursday FILM 210 930-1230
Friday ADVG 301 930-330
YEAH, Great times. Rush hour driving and everything to Westbury. Ext 41N. AWESOME.
Hopefully I will get to keepthis job. Ican work Monday nd tuesday mornings and all day Wednesday, and then the shooting range on the weekends i suppose.. oi.
But everyone as it rough i guess this age, this time in life. so who am i to complain? i know for me, its hard to force myself to do things i dont want to do. I know im going to be pissed driving to class, and driving home in rush hour, especially if im not happy with how things turn out. the other thought is after this semester ill be done. no more school until i get a masters..but hopefully ill work for a bit, or something.
I've just been so bitter about my school career this semester. Projects are piling up. HUGE projects. I just dont want to do school work anymore. Im not motivated, to do it, I do the work out of fear that I dont want to fail, even if its not my best work or not. Ive been horribly procastinating too. I dont even have a valid excuse that my test grades are bad. I dont erally do anything. I dont really hangout that much with anyone, i dont work THAT much its just im not interested or, I just dont have patience..its a mix.
I've been so snappy towards mom and sam. Sams just hard to deal with anyway. Im going to boston on Saturday with anthony for a vegetarian food festival, and she wanted to come, and honestly, anthony and i dont want to deal with her. shes very difficult to deal with, and yeah she has good days, or moments,but i just dont want to go with her. I feel bad. That inner feeling inside hurts. My mom said last night "maybe one day you'll get along better, your all eachother has". and its true. And that statement hurts too, and i feel bad, but i want to enjoy my saturday with my boyfriend.
I hate hearing myself bitch and complain. Its so annoying. Who the fuck wants to hear it? No one cares, AND everyone has shit. You just sound so negative. But you have to let it out. You have to empty your bin. Ive come to terms I think, even though I have sudden bursts, that this is just a transition phase. This week is better than last. I was flipping out last week, i exploded. But thats whole different entry, and I've calmed down.
all and all, today is a long one. hope you all enjoy your halloween tomorrow night.