hopes and fears
Today started out as a good day.
Posted my Christmas cards to various people who have meaning in my life.
This act is relevant because I considered sending out Anomalist pins to everyone rather than just the Scot and the Brit. "Should I send something to A? Nah, I'll meet with them in person and hand one over then", "Should B get one? Nah, I'll meet 'em soon enough", and so forth.
Hope for the future. A future. I was humming Christmas carols.
Bought a Christmas tree. Acquired a very large and heavy chocolate chip cookie for $2.50 at the same place selling the tree.
Cleaned up the kitchen, did the dishes, and scooped the litterboxes. Not necessarily in that order but you get the gist.
Work, on the other hand, was pretending to work while warming a chair. Boss was in so I needed to provide the illusion. Alone with my thoughts, and browsing reddit on the sly, wasn't a particularly good mix.
On my way home, being dumb, I turned on NPR for Marketplace and it was all "Trump, Trump, Trump".
From here I spiralled down. Yep, America is dead just like Baba Vanga's prediction. The POTUS cabinet looks like the Legion of Doom. Hopped on Twitter, mused about people being rounded up on 1/20/2017, summary executions on 1/21/2017, and a request to be remembered fondly.
Considered all the nonsense surrounding Nostradamus and Revelation. Challenged myself to research it and see how much has resonance in the real world vs. paranoid fantasies. Except researching this nonsense will only play on this anxiety.
A small voice said it's NPR being histrionic, as usual, and stick to the presumption of innocence rather than play their game.
Yet I feel awful. Considered killing myself so I can die a free, if fat, man but then who'd take care of the cats?
All is lost and now I have to do a screen share with my accounting and bookkeeping partner.
Posted my Christmas cards to various people who have meaning in my life.
This act is relevant because I considered sending out Anomalist pins to everyone rather than just the Scot and the Brit. "Should I send something to A? Nah, I'll meet with them in person and hand one over then", "Should B get one? Nah, I'll meet 'em soon enough", and so forth.
Hope for the future. A future. I was humming Christmas carols.
Bought a Christmas tree. Acquired a very large and heavy chocolate chip cookie for $2.50 at the same place selling the tree.
Cleaned up the kitchen, did the dishes, and scooped the litterboxes. Not necessarily in that order but you get the gist.
Work, on the other hand, was pretending to work while warming a chair. Boss was in so I needed to provide the illusion. Alone with my thoughts, and browsing reddit on the sly, wasn't a particularly good mix.
On my way home, being dumb, I turned on NPR for Marketplace and it was all "Trump, Trump, Trump".
From here I spiralled down. Yep, America is dead just like Baba Vanga's prediction. The POTUS cabinet looks like the Legion of Doom. Hopped on Twitter, mused about people being rounded up on 1/20/2017, summary executions on 1/21/2017, and a request to be remembered fondly.
Considered all the nonsense surrounding Nostradamus and Revelation. Challenged myself to research it and see how much has resonance in the real world vs. paranoid fantasies. Except researching this nonsense will only play on this anxiety.
A small voice said it's NPR being histrionic, as usual, and stick to the presumption of innocence rather than play their game.
Yet I feel awful. Considered killing myself so I can die a free, if fat, man but then who'd take care of the cats?
All is lost and now I have to do a screen share with my accounting and bookkeeping partner.