Soon it will all die and sadness will wash over everything
AHHHHHHHHHH! Why did I ever bring her up there? If I had just not seen a movie with her that one day none of this would be a problem right now. But I can't ever make things easy for myself, no I have to make them incredibly difficult for myself all the time, even when I don't mean to.
And I'm not going to do or say anything about this, because I've learned my lesson in the past...So I guess I'm just gonna have to suffer again until my feelings subside, because lord know, even if he did have some sort of different feeling for me, he wouldn't do anything about it either, and like I said, I'm done trying with him...I can't afford to even take the chance of another rejection from him, not when he and I are getting along so well now.
I want to tell Brianne just to back off, that I don't even want her to talk to him, because, I honestly don't...I don't want them to have any contact with each other, because I feel so...so shitty. When she told me today that he and her talked last night for like two hours or something, I serisouly felt like crying, that's how ridiculous I am...But I could never have the heart to tell her that. She knows though, that I still like him (like him again, whichever one), but when I told her, I told her not to ever let if affect any descion she makes about him...Maybe I should have told her otherwise...Am I being selfish? I know he doesn't want to be with me, and I guess I can accept that if I have to, but at the same time, I don't want him to be with anyone else....What the fuck is wrong with me?!
And I'm not going to do or say anything about this, because I've learned my lesson in the past...So I guess I'm just gonna have to suffer again until my feelings subside, because lord know, even if he did have some sort of different feeling for me, he wouldn't do anything about it either, and like I said, I'm done trying with him...I can't afford to even take the chance of another rejection from him, not when he and I are getting along so well now.
I want to tell Brianne just to back off, that I don't even want her to talk to him, because, I honestly don't...I don't want them to have any contact with each other, because I feel so...so shitty. When she told me today that he and her talked last night for like two hours or something, I serisouly felt like crying, that's how ridiculous I am...But I could never have the heart to tell her that. She knows though, that I still like him (like him again, whichever one), but when I told her, I told her not to ever let if affect any descion she makes about him...Maybe I should have told her otherwise...Am I being selfish? I know he doesn't want to be with me, and I guess I can accept that if I have to, but at the same time, I don't want him to be with anyone else....What the fuck is wrong with me?!