All the complications...
I'm thankful for...
1.) The ability to learn.
2.) Chapstick/ lipgloss/ whatever you wanna call it.
3.) YOU!
4.) Seal.
5.) Emotion.
Lately at dance I haven't been motivated at all. It's been friggin' boring, and I've wanted to quit several times. I was still feeling highly unmotivated (and very tired) when I got to dance tonight, but then something incredible happened. Now, I'm willing to bet that a large portion of you either didn't know or don't remember me telling you that I was in gymnastics when I was a kid. I did gymnastics for some odd 3-4 years. My heart was broken when I had to quit and move to California, but then I took up dance, and the rest is history. ANYWHO, I'm getting off topic. So at dance, something incredible happened. Dorothy said to Stephanie that she wanted to be a cheerleader (she's popular and pretty and very skinny, but she's super sweet too). She said she wanted to, but she couldn't do a cartwheel. She demonstrated, and she was right... she really couldn't do a cartwheel. Stephanie said the same, and she, too, demonstrated: the outcome was similar to Dorothy's. I remembered back to when I was a kid... how I couldn't do cartwheels when I started gymnastics, and I felt like I was the only one. So I gave Dorothy some simple advice on how to fix her cartwheel... advice very similar to that of ballet, only upside down. Dorothy tried, and her cartwheel was 50 times better... and then I told her again what she had to do, and when she did it, it was almost like she'd been doing cartwheels for years. Stephanie was inspired, and so she asked me to teach her. I told her the same thing as Dorothy, and when she did it, the results were the same as Dorothy's: improvment beyond expected. She tried again, and before you knew it, both girls couldn't stop. Stephanie ran over and gave me a double high-five. They were two of the happiest people I had seen in a long time. So we started to work on the dance again, but this time when we took our places, I had expression in my dance, and a smile on my face. It was the first time in months that I've been happy to dance. I remember when I was in tap, the only reason I ever did well was because people used to ask me how to do things. I suppose I get my drive from helping other people, rather than seeing myself do well. All I know is that helping those two tonight made me the happiest I've been in a very long time.
As for everything else, I'm still feeling the lasting effects of last night. I was right... I had that dream. It made me tired, too. I woke up and instead of being ready to face the day, I felt like I'd been running all night. On top of that, I think I'm gettin' some mild allergies. I've been sneezing, my throat is sore, and I have a runny nose. Oh well, that's life.
Mom and I were debating about when my grounding ends. I think it's tomorrow, and she says this is only week three. She is failing to take into account that I spent two weeks with her when my dad went to Louisiana and then another week with him, making this week four. It doesn't matter, the only thing I'm really grounded from is the internet... and as you can see, I've been breaking that one a little bit. Oh well...
I went to the doctor today and got some medication for my acne. My parents and the doctors are worried about scarring. So I got THREE different medications today... it cost my dad around $80. Two gels... which I told the doctor I wanted to avoid due to accessive sensitivity with my skin, and then a pill. It's a horse pill... the size of a god damned water bottle cap. So yeah... the only other choice I have (besides the stuff that gives me tumors and liver problems) is something that involves birth control. When the doctor mentioned that, I think I heard my dad's heart skip a beat. No worries though, they don't do that medication before they try the less aggressive ones. The doctor said I might eventually move to that one though. He also said that some girls don't need the Accutane (the acne medication) and that the birth control does a good job of containing the acne all by itself. My dad asked me several times if a lot of my friends were on the Accutane, but I know he's just scared because of the birth control part of it. I don't blame him... he's a dad, it's his job. So yeah... the doctor that prescribed all the medications is the same guy who did my biopsy. That was a tad nerve-racking. Why is the guy who did surgery on my leg the same guy who's giving me acne treatment?
Anyways... I've said enough for now. I won't give you more lyrics. You don't need those. They're fun to include, but I don't feel inspired by them tonight. Besides, my mom's goin' all weird on me. She thinks I'm on messenger, but I'm only writin' in my journal. I miss my freedom. It sucks being grounded. Anyone wanna trade lives? Any takers? No? Are you sure? Absolutely positive? Going once... going twice... SOLD! right back to myself... how depressing, haha. Alright... until next time - later ya'll.
~Stevi
1.) The ability to learn.
2.) Chapstick/ lipgloss/ whatever you wanna call it.
3.) YOU!
4.) Seal.
5.) Emotion.
Lately at dance I haven't been motivated at all. It's been friggin' boring, and I've wanted to quit several times. I was still feeling highly unmotivated (and very tired) when I got to dance tonight, but then something incredible happened. Now, I'm willing to bet that a large portion of you either didn't know or don't remember me telling you that I was in gymnastics when I was a kid. I did gymnastics for some odd 3-4 years. My heart was broken when I had to quit and move to California, but then I took up dance, and the rest is history. ANYWHO, I'm getting off topic. So at dance, something incredible happened. Dorothy said to Stephanie that she wanted to be a cheerleader (she's popular and pretty and very skinny, but she's super sweet too). She said she wanted to, but she couldn't do a cartwheel. She demonstrated, and she was right... she really couldn't do a cartwheel. Stephanie said the same, and she, too, demonstrated: the outcome was similar to Dorothy's. I remembered back to when I was a kid... how I couldn't do cartwheels when I started gymnastics, and I felt like I was the only one. So I gave Dorothy some simple advice on how to fix her cartwheel... advice very similar to that of ballet, only upside down. Dorothy tried, and her cartwheel was 50 times better... and then I told her again what she had to do, and when she did it, it was almost like she'd been doing cartwheels for years. Stephanie was inspired, and so she asked me to teach her. I told her the same thing as Dorothy, and when she did it, the results were the same as Dorothy's: improvment beyond expected. She tried again, and before you knew it, both girls couldn't stop. Stephanie ran over and gave me a double high-five. They were two of the happiest people I had seen in a long time. So we started to work on the dance again, but this time when we took our places, I had expression in my dance, and a smile on my face. It was the first time in months that I've been happy to dance. I remember when I was in tap, the only reason I ever did well was because people used to ask me how to do things. I suppose I get my drive from helping other people, rather than seeing myself do well. All I know is that helping those two tonight made me the happiest I've been in a very long time.
As for everything else, I'm still feeling the lasting effects of last night. I was right... I had that dream. It made me tired, too. I woke up and instead of being ready to face the day, I felt like I'd been running all night. On top of that, I think I'm gettin' some mild allergies. I've been sneezing, my throat is sore, and I have a runny nose. Oh well, that's life.
Mom and I were debating about when my grounding ends. I think it's tomorrow, and she says this is only week three. She is failing to take into account that I spent two weeks with her when my dad went to Louisiana and then another week with him, making this week four. It doesn't matter, the only thing I'm really grounded from is the internet... and as you can see, I've been breaking that one a little bit. Oh well...
I went to the doctor today and got some medication for my acne. My parents and the doctors are worried about scarring. So I got THREE different medications today... it cost my dad around $80. Two gels... which I told the doctor I wanted to avoid due to accessive sensitivity with my skin, and then a pill. It's a horse pill... the size of a god damned water bottle cap. So yeah... the only other choice I have (besides the stuff that gives me tumors and liver problems) is something that involves birth control. When the doctor mentioned that, I think I heard my dad's heart skip a beat. No worries though, they don't do that medication before they try the less aggressive ones. The doctor said I might eventually move to that one though. He also said that some girls don't need the Accutane (the acne medication) and that the birth control does a good job of containing the acne all by itself. My dad asked me several times if a lot of my friends were on the Accutane, but I know he's just scared because of the birth control part of it. I don't blame him... he's a dad, it's his job. So yeah... the doctor that prescribed all the medications is the same guy who did my biopsy. That was a tad nerve-racking. Why is the guy who did surgery on my leg the same guy who's giving me acne treatment?
Anyways... I've said enough for now. I won't give you more lyrics. You don't need those. They're fun to include, but I don't feel inspired by them tonight. Besides, my mom's goin' all weird on me. She thinks I'm on messenger, but I'm only writin' in my journal. I miss my freedom. It sucks being grounded. Anyone wanna trade lives? Any takers? No? Are you sure? Absolutely positive? Going once... going twice... SOLD! right back to myself... how depressing, haha. Alright... until next time - later ya'll.
~Stevi