(no subject)
This morning I woke up and realized that in exactly two weeks I would be in Ecuador.
The first thing I thought to myself was "I'm not ready, I'm not ready, I'm not ready"
I think it was really a bad idea to have my trip to Mexico and my trip to Ecuador so close together. Not only am I still worn out from Mexico, but also all of the feelings of homesickness and anxiety and nerves are so, so fresh in my mind. When I spend time with my friends more and more I keep thinking about how it will feel when I leave. I know this experience is an amazing one but right now I am feeling more anxiety than excitement. Also we just got our first assignment (sort of) and it is to write three to four pages in Spanish, which you would think is no big deal, but the fact is that when it is about the economic state of another country, using a vocabulary I completely lack, I can't help to think "What am I doing?!"
Plus my dad keeps planting these little seeds in my head that have been nagging at me too. "After having such a good semester you must be pretty stressed about leaving, part of you must be really questioning whether you should go there."
For the past few days I was shutting out all those feelings but as soon as my Dad said that it was like Pandora's Box.
Arghhhh. Part of me is still so tempted to just go next semester. And that makes me feel like a weak person.
I am a babyhead.
The first thing I thought to myself was "I'm not ready, I'm not ready, I'm not ready"
I think it was really a bad idea to have my trip to Mexico and my trip to Ecuador so close together. Not only am I still worn out from Mexico, but also all of the feelings of homesickness and anxiety and nerves are so, so fresh in my mind. When I spend time with my friends more and more I keep thinking about how it will feel when I leave. I know this experience is an amazing one but right now I am feeling more anxiety than excitement. Also we just got our first assignment (sort of) and it is to write three to four pages in Spanish, which you would think is no big deal, but the fact is that when it is about the economic state of another country, using a vocabulary I completely lack, I can't help to think "What am I doing?!"
Plus my dad keeps planting these little seeds in my head that have been nagging at me too. "After having such a good semester you must be pretty stressed about leaving, part of you must be really questioning whether you should go there."
For the past few days I was shutting out all those feelings but as soon as my Dad said that it was like Pandora's Box.
Arghhhh. Part of me is still so tempted to just go next semester. And that makes me feel like a weak person.
I am a babyhead.