Thought Choo Choo jumped the track...
It has been a very busy last few days. So I am just going to let it all spill out of my head. :]
Two days ago I think, mom, Vicki and I spent the day shopping and wandering around on the other side of the bridge. Then we went to the boardwalk and had the fantastic icecream there. I decided to go barefoot, so everyone was kinda of starring at me, but what can I say I have a little bit of hippie in me. Flirted with the boat boys (Rose knoes), and enjoyed the water and the family time.
Friday we went up to my old house and saw my dad, plus we hit the thrift stores, so I picked up some shirts, jeans and shoes. For some reason my brain had the knowledge that "Dad had a stroke, so therefore he is not the same", but when I saw him it was like a small shock all over again. He does not seem to be doing any worse but not any better. His friend Jim is there helping him out, filling the dog bowls and helping him do the things he cant with one arm. Jim is a good guy, he is very troubled but he has a heart.
We went in to the attic of my dad's house to move Vicki's stuff into one area so when she moves into her new house with David it will not be as hard. Mom found some boxes we left by accident that I use for crafts, so we took that and a bundle of fabric she had left. But while we were up there I found this old green box that was in the back, I was curious and asked mom what was in it and I was a little shocked by what she told me. In it were the newspapers from Stephen's death ( my brother). This made me curious because we have newspapers from when my sister-in-law died but they are tucked away safe, these were just in a cardboard box that looked to be falling apart, not safe at all. My brother dying has to do a lot with my father drinking. I remember when I overdosed on Asprin and was put in the hospitial, when I came home my father asked me what the hell I was thinking, and I asked him what the hell he was thinking every time he would pick up the bottle, and he responded that he lost his son. And I this is only what I think, since i was not born yet when my brother accidently killed himself, that my father bears a lot of the burden of Stephen dying and that is why those papers are not in a safe place, such as a drawer, but that they are in a box hidden in a corner of an attic.
On the way home there was something really (cant think of word to describe it) , when we were stopped at a stop light I saw a lady pulled over by a wooden cross, I have seen many wooden crosses and even help make one once, but I had never seen this. The lady was out of her car and she was crying, she kissed her fingers and then placed then gently on the picture of the boy on the cross. You see these crosses, they rot with the rain and become worn, but I had never seen someone mourn at one. It was kinda Beautiful. Just to know that, that those two pieces of wood were more than just a marker of death but a tool of healing.
So I was able to spend some time with my dogs and my dad. I enjoyed it.
Saturday was the girls birthday party, and it was good fun except my dad was not able to come. I am not sure what happened but when he called my mom he was almost in tears, he did not have the gas money and I think my brother, who I love dearly, was being a dick and said he would not go and get my dad. So that did put a slight damper on the day, I was looking forward to seeing him. But my brother his wife and two kids came, Lance's friend Joe came with his son Joey ( Joey is a hottie, I like him, plus he a tattoo <3 and he is with in my range I think), Lance's sister, mother and gradmother came, they are very nice and it was great that they came, and David came (it was good for Vicki). We had a cookout, and it was good to see everyone together. It was all good fun, and I think my babies enjoyed themselves.
My Brother got another tattoo, he got "Randolph" tattooed across his shoulders, it is lovely. He is soon going to get his other daughter's name tattooed on him, he has all his other kids names on him.
I have done some of my summer work, which makes me proud because I normally wait till the last minute.
Went driving, this time I drove from my school to home, and I did really well. I was really proud and kinda scared since the roads in my neighborhood are winding and hilly and twisting. (Eoma, Appa, and Rose knoes of my roads)
Been helping mom out with ebay and her business (CritterComfies).
I have started taking better care of myself, streching and taking vitamins.
Not sure how to end this, I still have things to do, clean my drawers, clean my room, start reading my summer books once they get here.
Well I feel better now.
Two days ago I think, mom, Vicki and I spent the day shopping and wandering around on the other side of the bridge. Then we went to the boardwalk and had the fantastic icecream there. I decided to go barefoot, so everyone was kinda of starring at me, but what can I say I have a little bit of hippie in me. Flirted with the boat boys (Rose knoes), and enjoyed the water and the family time.
Friday we went up to my old house and saw my dad, plus we hit the thrift stores, so I picked up some shirts, jeans and shoes. For some reason my brain had the knowledge that "Dad had a stroke, so therefore he is not the same", but when I saw him it was like a small shock all over again. He does not seem to be doing any worse but not any better. His friend Jim is there helping him out, filling the dog bowls and helping him do the things he cant with one arm. Jim is a good guy, he is very troubled but he has a heart.
We went in to the attic of my dad's house to move Vicki's stuff into one area so when she moves into her new house with David it will not be as hard. Mom found some boxes we left by accident that I use for crafts, so we took that and a bundle of fabric she had left. But while we were up there I found this old green box that was in the back, I was curious and asked mom what was in it and I was a little shocked by what she told me. In it were the newspapers from Stephen's death ( my brother). This made me curious because we have newspapers from when my sister-in-law died but they are tucked away safe, these were just in a cardboard box that looked to be falling apart, not safe at all. My brother dying has to do a lot with my father drinking. I remember when I overdosed on Asprin and was put in the hospitial, when I came home my father asked me what the hell I was thinking, and I asked him what the hell he was thinking every time he would pick up the bottle, and he responded that he lost his son. And I this is only what I think, since i was not born yet when my brother accidently killed himself, that my father bears a lot of the burden of Stephen dying and that is why those papers are not in a safe place, such as a drawer, but that they are in a box hidden in a corner of an attic.
On the way home there was something really (cant think of word to describe it) , when we were stopped at a stop light I saw a lady pulled over by a wooden cross, I have seen many wooden crosses and even help make one once, but I had never seen this. The lady was out of her car and she was crying, she kissed her fingers and then placed then gently on the picture of the boy on the cross. You see these crosses, they rot with the rain and become worn, but I had never seen someone mourn at one. It was kinda Beautiful. Just to know that, that those two pieces of wood were more than just a marker of death but a tool of healing.
So I was able to spend some time with my dogs and my dad. I enjoyed it.
Saturday was the girls birthday party, and it was good fun except my dad was not able to come. I am not sure what happened but when he called my mom he was almost in tears, he did not have the gas money and I think my brother, who I love dearly, was being a dick and said he would not go and get my dad. So that did put a slight damper on the day, I was looking forward to seeing him. But my brother his wife and two kids came, Lance's friend Joe came with his son Joey ( Joey is a hottie, I like him, plus he a tattoo <3 and he is with in my range I think), Lance's sister, mother and gradmother came, they are very nice and it was great that they came, and David came (it was good for Vicki). We had a cookout, and it was good to see everyone together. It was all good fun, and I think my babies enjoyed themselves.
My Brother got another tattoo, he got "Randolph" tattooed across his shoulders, it is lovely. He is soon going to get his other daughter's name tattooed on him, he has all his other kids names on him.
I have done some of my summer work, which makes me proud because I normally wait till the last minute.
Went driving, this time I drove from my school to home, and I did really well. I was really proud and kinda scared since the roads in my neighborhood are winding and hilly and twisting. (Eoma, Appa, and Rose knoes of my roads)
Been helping mom out with ebay and her business (CritterComfies).
I have started taking better care of myself, streching and taking vitamins.
Not sure how to end this, I still have things to do, clean my drawers, clean my room, start reading my summer books once they get here.
Well I feel better now.