-_-

[rainy]

I wonder if my dad was afraid when he was dying.
Or if he knew it was happening.
If he just fell asleep and didn't wake up.
God, I want him back.

It hurts me to think of him in the ground.
Not telling corny jokes at dinner, or smiling at everyone.
Just... in the dark.
I wonder how decayed he is by now.
I wonder what his skull looks like.
Ugh. What a horrible thing to wonder.