(no subject)
so!
its scary to think i'm actually going to med school next year.... grownups go to med school. (btw, its also amazing that i actually made it to med school....like even though that's been the plan for a while i was never actually sure that i'd make it...oof. kind of a heady feeling to know that the uncertainty period is mostly over, ya know?) and its scary to know that while you'll be here for another four years, after next year most of your friends will be going away and you'll be left with all the young'uns, but they they'll leave too and pretty soon you're one of the few left from your crew at school. also, i really hate to think that i won't have time to do other things ever again, like ballroom dancing or late night adventures or even traveling or even just hanging out with people at a whim... and while its nice to say that if i'm massively productive i'll have time for everything, it isn't true. i'm realizing more and more now the things i'm giving up in order to become a doctor- and while i do really want to be a doctor, and would be happy being a doctor (i think...i'll be more sure in a year) it'd better be pretty damn spectacular to make up for the things i'll be missing out on during the next few years.
in other words, the big things in my schedule right now is to finish the first half of my application (they still make us apply), write the six essays i have for my classes (which i am bitter about....dammit i'm a science major, i don't write papers.) and hopefully finish painting my room before 330 on wednesday so i can let it air all out all break and be able to live there when i come back (for the uninformed...i've been debating all year about painting the starry night onto one of the walls in my room...and i finally decided not to be a pansy and do it cuz its one of those things you'll only ever be able to do around this time in your life)
anyway, stressed but mainly happy. its good.
its scary to think i'm actually going to med school next year.... grownups go to med school. (btw, its also amazing that i actually made it to med school....like even though that's been the plan for a while i was never actually sure that i'd make it...oof. kind of a heady feeling to know that the uncertainty period is mostly over, ya know?) and its scary to know that while you'll be here for another four years, after next year most of your friends will be going away and you'll be left with all the young'uns, but they they'll leave too and pretty soon you're one of the few left from your crew at school. also, i really hate to think that i won't have time to do other things ever again, like ballroom dancing or late night adventures or even traveling or even just hanging out with people at a whim... and while its nice to say that if i'm massively productive i'll have time for everything, it isn't true. i'm realizing more and more now the things i'm giving up in order to become a doctor- and while i do really want to be a doctor, and would be happy being a doctor (i think...i'll be more sure in a year) it'd better be pretty damn spectacular to make up for the things i'll be missing out on during the next few years.
in other words, the big things in my schedule right now is to finish the first half of my application (they still make us apply), write the six essays i have for my classes (which i am bitter about....dammit i'm a science major, i don't write papers.) and hopefully finish painting my room before 330 on wednesday so i can let it air all out all break and be able to live there when i come back (for the uninformed...i've been debating all year about painting the starry night onto one of the walls in my room...and i finally decided not to be a pansy and do it cuz its one of those things you'll only ever be able to do around this time in your life)
anyway, stressed but mainly happy. its good.