Skipping stone, rippling pond
Something has recently come to my attention, which I think warrants exploring thoughts on further.
There is a picture that I have of my father, who was a very active man. It's one where the original was taken at our family reunion this summer in Rogue River, and I particularly love this image of my father. He was happy, looked full of life, and it was one of many of my family that I've shown a person that is particularly close to me. I was delighted when, as a result of a conversation, he sent me a picture comparing my dad to an old miner.
Dad LOVED the old west. We've investigated lots of stuff, ghost towns, gone over part of the Pony Express on a super long camping trip, old mines... he's even been out prospecting, and dad talked to me on our way back home from our last trip about when he'd gone panning for gold. Sadly, dad only got to read part of a book of poetry inspired by the old west that mom came across, but he loved what he did get to read of that. The icon of the Old Western Miner is one of the ways I thought of my dad, and something I could have easily seen him doing if he had been born in another era. So this picture was something I held on to, because it was done in a light spirit, and made sure to keep where I'd be able to get to at least a copy of that file.
Now, mom didn't have a great night last night (nor did I really, honest I tried really hard to sleep decently and at least a decent amount). So, when mom was looking for pictures of dad to cheer herself up (before I knew she was also looking for pictures to celebrate the full life he lived) I remembered this file that I've kept in my email. I showed her this image, which she loved and decided she wanted to use as one of the pictures of dad.
She's not pushy (usually, and certainly wasn't this time) but because I wanted to see her smile I emailed her a copy of this image. Then I notified the person because I wanted him to be able to know that he'd been able to make another person smile (and mom smiling real smiles is super important to me right now). The reply, when I checked my email again far later in the day (it's been busy, and I'll probably be in the city all day tomorrow) seemed a mixture of shock, disbelief, and fear that someone was going to get mad at him...
I don't know about most families, but maybe mine is weird... this sort of stuff is normal and makes one tend to fit right in. Like I said, DAD LOVED THE MINER ARCHETYPE. My family... is sort of a collection of characitures in some ways... It's exactly the way mom and everyone wants to remember dad.
I have taken a long way to get to the point of this, and this actually isn't aimed at solely one particular person.
My point is, don't be afraid. Something that you do, even if you might feel embarrassed later, may make someone's day, may cheer them long after whatever it is that you have done. It may ripple out to help someone else as well, an effect that you may not expect, and that someone may need it very badly.
Also, don't be afraid to be yourself, which is so very closely related to be nearly the same thing, but I stress this as my example from my life touches on both being oneself, and in an action that reaches forward though unknown that it would at the time of the action.
Today, partially as a result of looking at the image, the progression of time, and actually going out and doing something, and then even later when flowers arrived as a visual reminder of the love of friends, my day and the day of another person has been easier. We went out around the valley and posted the notices, we talked to people, we went to the grocery store... and we ate a sandwiches. Despite being tired from a night of little rest, we went out into the world and were, for a short time, part of it again. And we weren't as tired as we otherwise might have been. Also, the energy in the house is changing again, becoming lighter, slightly more "normal" than before, and I'm not talking about in the psychological factor, but the energetic factor...
Psychologically last night sucked since I was pretty tempted to get myself drunk but didn't have the drive to go looking for something strong enough. Tonight, I've found myself some apricot brandy and gave myself a nice does that I'm still working on, but the mental mindset is more to unwind instead of numb myself like I would have been doing last night. After all, yesterday I had ample opportunity to bust out weeping when talking to someone particular, but was too tired to take that opportunity and instead probably just sounded like one very unstable woman trying to pretend to be ok.
The contrast between yesterday and today is huge... Though I certainly know better than to assume tomorrow will be as happy. I'm well aware I'm going to be swinging back and forth for quite some time. And when my brother walked in the door tonight, wearing the hat that dad had given him, that very same hat in the picture so fresh in my mind, instead of crying... I smiled. I was happy to see that hat.
I think... I think I might pull out my poetry notebook in a few minutes... Skipping stones, rippling ponds, lighthouses, gazebos, the moon and the stars, and quiet mines surrounded by green grasses in Nevada's mountains fill my mind... and I'm pretty sure it's not the brandy. I was able to actually cook not only a decent, but an EXCELLENT hamburger tonight.
Yes, you heard me, hamburger... even though hamburger so often makes my gut bleed... and so far, I'm not doubled over in pain.
Just remember, the smallest action, however unimportant it may seem, however much you might wonder if someone is going to take offense to later, may have the power to turn someone's day from lead to gold (or silver, your preference... I prefer silver).
*sighs* Wish I still had that Ninja Turtles Tour album... I'd like to hear Skipping Stones... Though if I remember correctly that never made it from the tour video to the OST... Too bad, that was my favorite song from that video.
There is a picture that I have of my father, who was a very active man. It's one where the original was taken at our family reunion this summer in Rogue River, and I particularly love this image of my father. He was happy, looked full of life, and it was one of many of my family that I've shown a person that is particularly close to me. I was delighted when, as a result of a conversation, he sent me a picture comparing my dad to an old miner.
Dad LOVED the old west. We've investigated lots of stuff, ghost towns, gone over part of the Pony Express on a super long camping trip, old mines... he's even been out prospecting, and dad talked to me on our way back home from our last trip about when he'd gone panning for gold. Sadly, dad only got to read part of a book of poetry inspired by the old west that mom came across, but he loved what he did get to read of that. The icon of the Old Western Miner is one of the ways I thought of my dad, and something I could have easily seen him doing if he had been born in another era. So this picture was something I held on to, because it was done in a light spirit, and made sure to keep where I'd be able to get to at least a copy of that file.
Now, mom didn't have a great night last night (nor did I really, honest I tried really hard to sleep decently and at least a decent amount). So, when mom was looking for pictures of dad to cheer herself up (before I knew she was also looking for pictures to celebrate the full life he lived) I remembered this file that I've kept in my email. I showed her this image, which she loved and decided she wanted to use as one of the pictures of dad.
She's not pushy (usually, and certainly wasn't this time) but because I wanted to see her smile I emailed her a copy of this image. Then I notified the person because I wanted him to be able to know that he'd been able to make another person smile (and mom smiling real smiles is super important to me right now). The reply, when I checked my email again far later in the day (it's been busy, and I'll probably be in the city all day tomorrow) seemed a mixture of shock, disbelief, and fear that someone was going to get mad at him...
I don't know about most families, but maybe mine is weird... this sort of stuff is normal and makes one tend to fit right in. Like I said, DAD LOVED THE MINER ARCHETYPE. My family... is sort of a collection of characitures in some ways... It's exactly the way mom and everyone wants to remember dad.
I have taken a long way to get to the point of this, and this actually isn't aimed at solely one particular person.
My point is, don't be afraid. Something that you do, even if you might feel embarrassed later, may make someone's day, may cheer them long after whatever it is that you have done. It may ripple out to help someone else as well, an effect that you may not expect, and that someone may need it very badly.
Also, don't be afraid to be yourself, which is so very closely related to be nearly the same thing, but I stress this as my example from my life touches on both being oneself, and in an action that reaches forward though unknown that it would at the time of the action.
Today, partially as a result of looking at the image, the progression of time, and actually going out and doing something, and then even later when flowers arrived as a visual reminder of the love of friends, my day and the day of another person has been easier. We went out around the valley and posted the notices, we talked to people, we went to the grocery store... and we ate a sandwiches. Despite being tired from a night of little rest, we went out into the world and were, for a short time, part of it again. And we weren't as tired as we otherwise might have been. Also, the energy in the house is changing again, becoming lighter, slightly more "normal" than before, and I'm not talking about in the psychological factor, but the energetic factor...
Psychologically last night sucked since I was pretty tempted to get myself drunk but didn't have the drive to go looking for something strong enough. Tonight, I've found myself some apricot brandy and gave myself a nice does that I'm still working on, but the mental mindset is more to unwind instead of numb myself like I would have been doing last night. After all, yesterday I had ample opportunity to bust out weeping when talking to someone particular, but was too tired to take that opportunity and instead probably just sounded like one very unstable woman trying to pretend to be ok.
The contrast between yesterday and today is huge... Though I certainly know better than to assume tomorrow will be as happy. I'm well aware I'm going to be swinging back and forth for quite some time. And when my brother walked in the door tonight, wearing the hat that dad had given him, that very same hat in the picture so fresh in my mind, instead of crying... I smiled. I was happy to see that hat.
I think... I think I might pull out my poetry notebook in a few minutes... Skipping stones, rippling ponds, lighthouses, gazebos, the moon and the stars, and quiet mines surrounded by green grasses in Nevada's mountains fill my mind... and I'm pretty sure it's not the brandy. I was able to actually cook not only a decent, but an EXCELLENT hamburger tonight.
Yes, you heard me, hamburger... even though hamburger so often makes my gut bleed... and so far, I'm not doubled over in pain.
Just remember, the smallest action, however unimportant it may seem, however much you might wonder if someone is going to take offense to later, may have the power to turn someone's day from lead to gold (or silver, your preference... I prefer silver).
*sighs* Wish I still had that Ninja Turtles Tour album... I'd like to hear Skipping Stones... Though if I remember correctly that never made it from the tour video to the OST... Too bad, that was my favorite song from that video.