(no subject)
Had a bit of trouble getting to sleep last night, ended up in Athena's bed again after the kids took over mine and passed out in it, spreading out like little stars. Mr No was occupying the whole top quarter when I dragged myself into the kids room, but he moved to let me crawl in and cuddled up with me and my fox plushie. He's a good kitty... Finally got to sleep, don't remember much about my dreams, just that I was warm and safe, and that nothing was going to hurt me, and that I was being held tight... and there was fur, I remember seeing silver fur. Not sure if it was there the whole time I was, might have shifted, but I didn't care because it was a safe shoulder.
So. Today I am feeling better, and much less shell shocked. Quite a bit of energetic repairs with the help of Vadise, and Mott and Faith that I am aware of also. Faith was intentionally praying, not sure if the assistance Mott gave was intentionally energetic or instinctive, and there's probably more protection around me than I realize right now.
At any rate, I don't feel as ragged and blasted, and my wings hurt much less this morning than I expected them too (habit of using those for shielding too). Adam had slung quite a bit of negativity around yesterday after he had come back. Ah well, I don't care, let him...
Heh, I got called mean because I told him to watch the kids yesterday when I had to take Faith to the store and to collect Luke after he missed the bus home... I made him fold his own clean laundry too (which I chucked on the floor as I separated it from everyones). He currently has a bag of clean stuff he needs to fold sitting in the hall.
This morning was money day for Faith, so she's paid me back most of my gas money, with more to come later today after taking care of some things and breaking another bill. Also got me and Almond Roca cappuchino. Mmmmmm. We chatted for a while about various topics... pervert, my kids, her kids, Aunt 'Nolie (her fam), my parents, embroidery, planetary health, DNA, psychology, spirituality... and Athena's spontaneous observation about how kind Mother Earth is, and how she WAS before she got the body we know as Earth... how she was spirit before she became a planetary body.
I thought that was REALLY cool how she just came out with that out of the blue before bed. *puffs up breast in motherly fashion, wiggles, and makes weird little sounds she doesn't know what to call them* I'm so pleased with my child!
Hm... this seems a bit more disjointed than usual... ah well.
Got a call from Grammy today (Adam's grandma) she wants him to call. She sounded... off... or maybe that's just me feeling a bit off kilter still. Or maybe even me worrying about what Adam's family must think of me. I don't know why it bothers me what they might think of me... It doesn't really matter, but... I have led as upright a life as I can, and yet I am always afraid that they will blame me for the dissolution... I don't know... Doesn't matter, I shouldn't worry about it because it is just another way for Adam to get me back under his thumb.
Found out how much rent would be at the apartments up the street, in Faith's complex. If I can't move in with BJ and April for the next school year I'll see about trying to get in up there with the kids.
Right then, time to move along. Don't think I'll be up to writing on either that fan fiction or my novel today. I want to rest. What I'd dearly love is to bust out my acrylics and paint on one of my canvases, but I still haven't found my paints... Beginning to suspect they are plain gone. I don't know what I want to do, but... bah...
Faith gave me a protective amulet yesterday, forgot if I wrote that down yet... Need to document that though.
So. Today I am feeling better, and much less shell shocked. Quite a bit of energetic repairs with the help of Vadise, and Mott and Faith that I am aware of also. Faith was intentionally praying, not sure if the assistance Mott gave was intentionally energetic or instinctive, and there's probably more protection around me than I realize right now.
At any rate, I don't feel as ragged and blasted, and my wings hurt much less this morning than I expected them too (habit of using those for shielding too). Adam had slung quite a bit of negativity around yesterday after he had come back. Ah well, I don't care, let him...
Heh, I got called mean because I told him to watch the kids yesterday when I had to take Faith to the store and to collect Luke after he missed the bus home... I made him fold his own clean laundry too (which I chucked on the floor as I separated it from everyones). He currently has a bag of clean stuff he needs to fold sitting in the hall.
This morning was money day for Faith, so she's paid me back most of my gas money, with more to come later today after taking care of some things and breaking another bill. Also got me and Almond Roca cappuchino. Mmmmmm. We chatted for a while about various topics... pervert, my kids, her kids, Aunt 'Nolie (her fam), my parents, embroidery, planetary health, DNA, psychology, spirituality... and Athena's spontaneous observation about how kind Mother Earth is, and how she WAS before she got the body we know as Earth... how she was spirit before she became a planetary body.
I thought that was REALLY cool how she just came out with that out of the blue before bed. *puffs up breast in motherly fashion, wiggles, and makes weird little sounds she doesn't know what to call them* I'm so pleased with my child!
Hm... this seems a bit more disjointed than usual... ah well.
Got a call from Grammy today (Adam's grandma) she wants him to call. She sounded... off... or maybe that's just me feeling a bit off kilter still. Or maybe even me worrying about what Adam's family must think of me. I don't know why it bothers me what they might think of me... It doesn't really matter, but... I have led as upright a life as I can, and yet I am always afraid that they will blame me for the dissolution... I don't know... Doesn't matter, I shouldn't worry about it because it is just another way for Adam to get me back under his thumb.
Found out how much rent would be at the apartments up the street, in Faith's complex. If I can't move in with BJ and April for the next school year I'll see about trying to get in up there with the kids.
Right then, time to move along. Don't think I'll be up to writing on either that fan fiction or my novel today. I want to rest. What I'd dearly love is to bust out my acrylics and paint on one of my canvases, but I still haven't found my paints... Beginning to suspect they are plain gone. I don't know what I want to do, but... bah...
Faith gave me a protective amulet yesterday, forgot if I wrote that down yet... Need to document that though.