(no subject)
I am having a hard time speaking because all i can think of to say is
*i want to die; i want to not be*
and all my words, normally i am good with them, have turned into poisonous arrows in my throat,
and i am so full of my bright burning rage
i am afraid i will blast anyone who touches me, even with kindness, anyone who crosses my path.
because i hurt.
and it's nobody's fault.
it just happens, because shit does.
and it is no one's fault, no one to shout at no one to blame.
i want to cease. to be undone.
i really really do.
i want to be unexisted.
because i am tired. because i am hurt. and i am raging.
leave me be suriel. i've had enough. i resign.
i want to be released from this contract of having to wake and think and breathe again.
*i want to die; i want to not be*
and all my words, normally i am good with them, have turned into poisonous arrows in my throat,
and i am so full of my bright burning rage
i am afraid i will blast anyone who touches me, even with kindness, anyone who crosses my path.
because i hurt.
and it's nobody's fault.
it just happens, because shit does.
and it is no one's fault, no one to shout at no one to blame.
i want to cease. to be undone.
i really really do.
i want to be unexisted.
because i am tired. because i am hurt. and i am raging.
leave me be suriel. i've had enough. i resign.
i want to be released from this contract of having to wake and think and breathe again.