Call me Persephone
Feels like I've been crying forever. Although in fact I haven't cried in days. But I've got the same feeling as I do after a sobbing session, a mix of tiredness and hollowness and mellowness.
Perhaps I have been crying in my sleep, or my journeyings through the Underworld, which is what we spoke a lot about in therapy today.
I did manage to drag myself out of bed and out of the house and into Neil's office (woo hoo). True, I was knackered when I got there but I got there and I perked up. We talked about dreams and processing and finally various relationships and Neil spent some time pointing out which people I might be better off moving a bit away from and why and I nodded because it made sense. And then we talked about niceness, and the manipulative potentials of niceness, and how whether someone has been nice or has the potential to be nice does not make them a nice person. And furthermore, that a lot of serial killers come across as nice people and that's how they lure the victims to them in the first place, although he went on to add: Of course, there are some truly nice people in the world. See, you're a genuinely nice person and you're not a serial killer.
Some cool stuff happened (I've noticed that Universe often gives me a helping hand when I am down) namely people have given me free stuff today which invariably cheers me up. E.g. In the coffee shop the waiter said I could have any coffee I wanted as a present from him, at another place I got free vouchers worth £50 and the newspaper seller didn't charge me for the Daily Express.
I think I look like shit. My hair hasn't been washed in far too long, my skin has the sallow tones normally sported by people on heroin, but either 1) I look better than I think 2)people feel sorry for me or 3)the tired shadowed look is really hot this year.
But hey, whatever the reasons free stuff is still great. Balm to a Cancerian heart.
I think I'm going to attempt to sort out my dream journal into some sort of cogent state now.
Embrace the Underworld spake my therapist.
Personally I'd rather be embracing some lovely human being but for the time being the Underworld will have to do. ;)
Perhaps I have been crying in my sleep, or my journeyings through the Underworld, which is what we spoke a lot about in therapy today.
I did manage to drag myself out of bed and out of the house and into Neil's office (woo hoo). True, I was knackered when I got there but I got there and I perked up. We talked about dreams and processing and finally various relationships and Neil spent some time pointing out which people I might be better off moving a bit away from and why and I nodded because it made sense. And then we talked about niceness, and the manipulative potentials of niceness, and how whether someone has been nice or has the potential to be nice does not make them a nice person. And furthermore, that a lot of serial killers come across as nice people and that's how they lure the victims to them in the first place, although he went on to add: Of course, there are some truly nice people in the world. See, you're a genuinely nice person and you're not a serial killer.
Some cool stuff happened (I've noticed that Universe often gives me a helping hand when I am down) namely people have given me free stuff today which invariably cheers me up. E.g. In the coffee shop the waiter said I could have any coffee I wanted as a present from him, at another place I got free vouchers worth £50 and the newspaper seller didn't charge me for the Daily Express.
I think I look like shit. My hair hasn't been washed in far too long, my skin has the sallow tones normally sported by people on heroin, but either 1) I look better than I think 2)people feel sorry for me or 3)the tired shadowed look is really hot this year.
But hey, whatever the reasons free stuff is still great. Balm to a Cancerian heart.
I think I'm going to attempt to sort out my dream journal into some sort of cogent state now.
Embrace the Underworld spake my therapist.
Personally I'd rather be embracing some lovely human being but for the time being the Underworld will have to do. ;)