I reconstructed the events by analysing evidence from the scene of the crime

[rainsinger]

While I was in the bathroom hacking up a lung, my daughter effected a way to ascend to the kitchen table, avail herself of some butter, descend again with loot and proceed to spend by all accounts a very happy 5 minutes grabbing handfuls of butter and spreading it all over herself and the kitchen floor.

*sigh*
On the other hand, she is very well moisturised now.