make tea, not love
Oh my God.
I have had many and varied experiences of assault upon my person, but I believe the one today tops the lot
For today, my dears, on the bus I got punched in the eye by An OLD LADY. Although technically speaking she punched me in the glasses. I am willing to believe it was an accident, although I feel that on deeper levels a number of sinister behaviours may be expected from people who put purple rinse on their sparse hair.
It was one of those life moments where something so surreal, so bizzarre comes your way that logic and reason seem no use at all, but amusent is handy.
I sat holding my hand over my wounded eye and shook with laughter [because sometimes, really, you just have to] while all the remaining people on the bus scanned me for signs of hysteria.
The sum of it all is that the glasses are fine, I'm fine, but my left eye hurts a bit and I'm reeling in a slightly shocked way that comes from wondering if you're living in a Monty Python movie.
I must say for an old person she packs quite a wallop.
Don't trust old people. They lie about being cold and frail and not having any food - it's because they blow all their pension money down at the gym.
If you think about it, being an old person means they've had more time to become criminal.
EDIT
It's inspired me to make this, although it's not nearly as good as offensive_mango's one.
I have had many and varied experiences of assault upon my person, but I believe the one today tops the lot
For today, my dears, on the bus I got punched in the eye by An OLD LADY. Although technically speaking she punched me in the glasses. I am willing to believe it was an accident, although I feel that on deeper levels a number of sinister behaviours may be expected from people who put purple rinse on their sparse hair.
It was one of those life moments where something so surreal, so bizzarre comes your way that logic and reason seem no use at all, but amusent is handy.
I sat holding my hand over my wounded eye and shook with laughter [because sometimes, really, you just have to] while all the remaining people on the bus scanned me for signs of hysteria.
The sum of it all is that the glasses are fine, I'm fine, but my left eye hurts a bit and I'm reeling in a slightly shocked way that comes from wondering if you're living in a Monty Python movie.
I must say for an old person she packs quite a wallop.
Don't trust old people. They lie about being cold and frail and not having any food - it's because they blow all their pension money down at the gym.
If you think about it, being an old person means they've had more time to become criminal.
EDIT
It's inspired me to make this, although it's not nearly as good as offensive_mango's one.