Jotei: The best worst television you've ever seen.
Jotei
She's a woman scorned and hell-bent on revenge. He's the yakuza with a heart of gold (and hair that spontaneously ripples in the wind). Together, they have terrible dialogue!
Hostesses! Yakuza! Hair-pulling! Water-throwing! Sabotage! Seduction! Poofy dresses! Scheming rivals! Conspiracies! Suicide attempts! Guns! Fires! Framing government officials! Brain tumors! Sex! Sex! Sex!
Or: Japan's answer to Passions.
Ten Things Jotei Has Taught Me:
10: If you're ever sorting through your attempted rapes and trying to decide on the best boyfriend material, go for one who looks like Matsuda Shota.
9: But don't let him make love to you, because your virginity is a precious commodity to be cherished by the sixty-year-old buyer.
8: If you're a hostess, you're a whore.
Sometimes with other girls.
Sometimes with your father.
7: If you're not a whore, you'll still get your hair pulled by other, jealous hostesses who call you a whore. They may also want to light you on fire. Acceptable responses: throwing water in her face, sleeping with all her clients, snappy put-downs involving British authors.
"The hairspray!! It does nothing!!!!"
If you need to distinguish yourself as a non-whore, carry little old ladies to the hospital on your back.
6: You know it's love if he doesn't sell you to the sex trade!
5: Sparkly ruffled taffeta is totally an acceptable fashion statement.
And your birthday suit is perfectly appropriate for a power montage.
4: Every man wants in your pants. Especially if he's a gangster. Especially if he's your father.
3: Of course he comes back from the dead.
2: If you ever catch a quiet, tender moment alone with your boyfriend, it will be broken by your worst enemy UNLEASHING A PRIMAL SCREAM AND STAMPEDING AT YOU IN HEELS, ARMED WITH ACID TO RUIN YOUR FACE.
1: Matsuda Shota looks really, really good making out with people.
Or rocking the suspenders.
Or, you know... in general.
The silky gorgeousness compels you!
She's a woman scorned and hell-bent on revenge. He's the yakuza with a heart of gold (and hair that spontaneously ripples in the wind). Together, they have terrible dialogue!
Hostesses! Yakuza! Hair-pulling! Water-throwing! Sabotage! Seduction! Poofy dresses! Scheming rivals! Conspiracies! Suicide attempts! Guns! Fires! Framing government officials! Brain tumors! Sex! Sex! Sex!
Or: Japan's answer to Passions.
Ten Things Jotei Has Taught Me:
10: If you're ever sorting through your attempted rapes and trying to decide on the best boyfriend material, go for one who looks like Matsuda Shota.
9: But don't let him make love to you, because your virginity is a precious commodity to be cherished by the sixty-year-old buyer.
8: If you're a hostess, you're a whore.
Sometimes with other girls.
Sometimes with your father.
7: If you're not a whore, you'll still get your hair pulled by other, jealous hostesses who call you a whore. They may also want to light you on fire. Acceptable responses: throwing water in her face, sleeping with all her clients, snappy put-downs involving British authors.
"The hairspray!! It does nothing!!!!"
If you need to distinguish yourself as a non-whore, carry little old ladies to the hospital on your back.
6: You know it's love if he doesn't sell you to the sex trade!
5: Sparkly ruffled taffeta is totally an acceptable fashion statement.
And your birthday suit is perfectly appropriate for a power montage.
4: Every man wants in your pants. Especially if he's a gangster. Especially if he's your father.
3: Of course he comes back from the dead.
2: If you ever catch a quiet, tender moment alone with your boyfriend, it will be broken by your worst enemy UNLEASHING A PRIMAL SCREAM AND STAMPEDING AT YOU IN HEELS, ARMED WITH ACID TO RUIN YOUR FACE.
1: Matsuda Shota looks really, really good making out with people.
Or rocking the suspenders.
Or, you know... in general.
The silky gorgeousness compels you!