On claiming an identity and exploring arrogance

[rainsavannah]

So, Alexandra said something interesting the other day, and then again on a recent post of mine.

I was talking about how I feel really embarrassed and inadequate sometimes because I didn't choose to pursue math, engineering, the sciences. I am a feminist; I am supposed to be breaking boundaries and proving girls can do all kinds of manly things too

Comments

[thisisvienna]

First thought: yes to self-ownership, yes to defining yourself on your own terms, yes to taking pride in your accomplishments, yes to this post.

Second thought: I don't think you should feel guilty for not going into a more traditionally male field. It seems to me that in a truly gender-equal society, fields wouldn't be traditionally assigned to either gender, right? So you'd be free to follow what you love without fear of judgment from others or guilt from yourself. I realize that this is not a gender-equal society, but there's a lot to be said for being the change you wish to see in the world; in this case, I think that being a good feminist means respecting yourself and your right to the pursuit of happiness, without holding yourself up to any arbitrary "norms."

Although you might not expect it in a humanity, the majority of the philosophy department are men, so, while it may not be gender-stratified on a level with CS, I can speak to being one of few women in a program; I'm usually one of maybe two or three women out of ten or twenty students in my classes. I don't think about it terribly often, and I've never really thought about it on a social-consciousness level, though it does occur to me. Usually, if anything, it makes me feel attractive. (That comment is definitely open to discussion.) I must admit, I have noticed that I really like being the only female or one of few females in a given setting. In Japan, I owned that matriarch/empress role. Not sure why; it might have more to do with being seen as special without any real effort on my part (being classified as "American" feels similar), and who doesn't like to be seen as special?