(no subject)
i'm so mad!! i just freakin finished writing this and my computer just had to be freakin gay! ugh!! well, i'm going again! ok well, today wasn't too bad. towards the end of the day i was really happy and hyper and i felt kind of skankish because i flirted quite a bit but i'm trying to lose the anti-relationship attitude john said i had. o yeah, i'm still kinda dwelling on the fact that danny and john thought i was hott and foxy...what do they see cause i don't see it! anywayz, i really miss them...and dillon, and bobby...not so much dan but i do. well, i saw danny burke today which made my day about a million times better!! it was great and i also saw travis which made it great...and jim which made it a bit better...lol. he was being obnoxious as usual. well, i was really looking forward to maybe seeing john because i wanted to know how he acted since he told me what he did last night...i can't really wait to see them at banquet monday...i'm excited! i hope they are all there...idk. well...i'm kinda aggravated as well as sad because if i hadn't put myself down so much and cared so much for a friend who screwed me over i could've formed a relationship with the two seniors who i have had a crush on since freakin 8th grade! idk, but i wish i could've had something with them...oOo, and i realized that i'm not completely over golly yet...i thought i was but then...idk, it's like freakin' music...there are cresecendo's and decrescendo's and they never end...until you're dead. well, i'm trying every possible objective to fill the hole in my heart that golly took but idk what's going on. grrr!!! why does it have to be so confusing!! anywayz...i miss the seniors a lot...um....i cant' wait till band banquet...well, that's pretty much my day...oh yeah, to add to the filling a hole in my heart...i totally flirted a lot with garcia and james sallaway...oOo...and i could SOOO feel golly staring me down as i flirted with tommy and sallaway and garcia. wow! i got to talk to matt thomas!! rheena said i was pretty smooth but yeah. it was great...he asked me for my phone number so we could have 'interesting conversations'...can't wait for my parents to answer the phone and be like...'OMG ARLENE HAS A BOYFRIEND!'...lol...that'd be great! he is so gorgeous...but yeah...mainly wrote this for no one to read...comment if you wish...