Another Day Another Dollar
Lets just say the last 5 days have seen more alcohol than the previous 4 years.... Not really but pretty close. I am not hungover, I don't feel like crap, but it will be a long time before I do that again, by the end of the 4th day I was not myself, well not my normal self. I tend to be a loner, even when I am sober I can occupy myself with my own pursuits for hours at a time, but after several days of drinkng the loner came out something fierce. For one I got to thinking about everybody over there that I know and how ironic it is that I am here living life and enjoying it, waiting to be an officer. It truely is a strange feeling that is horrible. Then I also got to thinking about where I am in life; single and a strange mix of happy and sad about it. You know how it is when you want a relationship but know that it is not in the best interests. Like as of right now I am single, and from what I am told it could be different if I wanted it, and I know that I don't need a relationship because in 8 months I am commissioning and leaving to go God only knows where at this point, and I really don't want to leave a woman behind to live in fear that I might not be the same or I might not come back at all. Then again at the same time I want a woman to write home too so that I can stay connected to the real world and have a love to build a life around, but at least in the near term that does not seem likely. In any case I should not complain I am in the life I chose and I knew it when I started down the road I am on. In the mean time I intend to enjoy it and to live it to the fullest whatever time might be left in it.