Angel; Hoya/Sunggyu; Woohyun/Hoya

[rainkissed11]

Title : Angle
Pairing(s) : Hoya/Sunggyu, Woohyun/Hoya
Word Count : 8500 words
Rating : PG-13
Summary : Hoya waits for Sunggyu to wake up, but he never knows he would meet Woohyun, a soul with deadline.


Hoya was so engrossed in his dream where he was floating among the fluffy clouds, grinning happily to those who were walking on the green grass below, when he felt something vibrating from under his crossed arms pulling him out of the slumber realm. He opened his eyes and only then he felt the strained pain of his arm muscle, because he have been sleeping with his head on his crossed arms, on the side of the bed for the whole night. He stopped the cell phone from vibrating, but didn’t bother to take a look at the time. He assumed the morning has come by the bright sunlight that penetrated into the cream coloured room, and from the window the blue sky was proudly displayed at him, indicating it’s just another bright Sunday.

Sunday, to be approximate it has been the nth Sunday that he had spent here. Others would prefer to go out and taste the summer air, hang out and get crazy with colleagues and peers or just sprawl on the bed at home for the whole day before Monday comes, but Hoya had been spending his Sundays loyally at this place. On the same chair, by the same bed.

He rubbed his eyes, rubbing away the sleepiness and let his sight fell upon a sleeping figure in front of him. His one lover who was still sleeping, and he looked perfectly like a sleeping beauty. For Hoya it’s too harsh to think that he’s in a comatose condition, because his boyfriend looked just as lively as he used to be. His pink cheeks although it didn’t look chubby as before, his small yet charming pair of eyes, and his cute lips which were kept moistened. It’s a wonder that he looked so alive. Only that, it has been to long since Hoya hear his honey-like voice.

“Morning, Sunggyu hyung..” Hoya muttered softly, so close to Sunggyu’s ears hoping the older will hear. “Today I’m going to be here for the whole day.. you must be feeling good..” He said, tracing his fingers on Sunggyu’s fair cheeks.

As usual, only the beeping sound from the machine answered his utterance, but he’s already used to it so it didn’t tear his heart that bad like the first time he accompanied Sunggyu in the ward a year ago. When he cried that whole night, as the silent supressed sobs turned to a loud heart-breaking wailing, cursing the fate for choosing Sunggyu to be put in such condition that he couldn’t accept at all. Who knew when he chose to go to his hometown for some days, and when he got back his Sunggyu was no longer there opening the door to their apartment, smiling to him and massage his tensed muscle or cook him something. Instead, he was struck by the worst news he could ever handle.

He fixed the blanket covering Sunggyu’s body, and stood up fixing his own creased shirt. Suddenly he felt his own stomach growling, and only then he remembered he didn’t eat anything the day before and it’s impossible for his tummy not to starve wildly like that.

“Oh.. should I go eat first..” He murmured, hands rubbing circle on his flat tummy. He was about to do his Sunday routine by sitting by Sunggyu and staring at him for hours, telling him what he had been doing and how exhausting his works are at the café without Sunggyu to help him there. But he felt like he could faint at any time if he didn’t grab anything to eat, and by fainting meant he’ll get less time to spent with Sunggyu, so after a contemplation, he grabbed his wallet and kissed Sunggyu on the forehead before he left the room.

The moment the door clicked and closed, a figure appeared by the side of Sunggyu’s bed. He reached his pale fingers onto Sunggyu’s forehead, the place where Hoya had just planted his kiss, and traced it as if he could touch it. Although the fact was, he’s just feeling the air under his cold skin.

“Lucky you..”

ღ

There was a sound of rustling plastic, and grumbles muttered before the door to the room was opened. Hoya’s frowning brows were obvious when he stepped into the room, and somehow there was a little pout on his face. But when he saw Sunggyu who was peacefully lying on the bed, he stopped grumbling and quickly sat on the chair.

“Waiting for the food took so much time.. “ He said in grumble, hands busy unwrapping the take-away breakfast. It was just the simple Chinese fried rice but soon the whole room was filled with the tasty smell. Hoya smiled upon the delicious view in front of him, and he took the spoon and started digging into the food.

He started eating, and was satisfied by the great taste. Somehow he’s loving at how the food was perfectly matching his taste, and like usual it brought up to the memory of Sunggyu eating together with him. At how the elder’s cheeks will become chubbier as he munch to his food. He chuckled a bit after he swallowed the rice. “Hyung.. you love Chinese fried rice so much, you must be envying me right now. Hurry, wake up and eat with me..”

Hoya took another spoonful and put it inside his mouth, and kept the spoon there as his freed his hand to poke at Sunggyu’s cheeks. “We need to grow more of this. You’re losing your hamster title..” He muffled his words with the spoon in between his teeth, before he pulled it out and chewed on the content. “Baby if you wake up right now, I’d feed you all those meals that you’ve skipped.”

“So cheesy.”

He abruptly stopped munching. The voice stopped his heart from beating for a moment. An unfamiliar one. Obviously not his. He stared at Sunggyu, but his boyfriend was staying still, no sign of him speaking or letting out any voice that resembled those two words.

“H-hyung..?” He voiced out, his hand that was holding the spoon stopped and hung in the mid-air. But of course, no respond from Sunggyu. Suddenly a strange chill ran down his spine, and the room turned colder even though it’s clearly daylight out there. Slowly, he looked around the room. He wasn’t supposed to be scared, he never even thought about all these paranormal things in a place called hospital although that was the very famous place about the undoubtedly famous topic.

However, to feel this on his own, he’s losing that I-don’t-believe-such-craps notion as he could feel himself shaking a bit, considering there was nothing - nobody - else in the room, except him and Sunggyu.

He tried not to let his mind imagine the one thing everybody should think of when this situation occurs.

“BOO!” Out of sudden an upside-down head with the hair falling straight following the gravity revealing the broad pale forehead appeared right in front of him, with eyes widened staring straight into Hoya’s eyes and mouth that was shaped ‘o’.

Immediately Hoya choked on the remaining food in his mouth as he was thrown back a bit by the shocked impact, and the chair he was sitting on screeched backward a bit. It was too sudden, too shocking that he didn’t get the timing to grab onto something before he fell hard onto the floor. His face was contorted in fear rather than pain. Coughing non-stop as the choking was giving pain in his throat, he slapped hard onto his chest as if it will work.

The coughing fit decreased after a while, but his heartbeat increased as time passed. His mind was too unorganized to recall what he had just seen, but clearly he didn’t want to look up again.

“Are you alright?” Suddenly the same voice was heard, so close by his ear that he winced upon hearing it. He cursed his mind, apparently his thoughts were too loud that this ghost heard about him not wanting to look up, and decided to go closer instead.

His body wasn’t obliging his mind and obviously ignoring his crazily pounding heart, when his head naturally turned to the side. But to his surprise, there was nobody beside him. He stayed frozen, apparently his mind was playing stupid tricks.

ღ

“You look awful.” The tall nurse in his light blue uniform muttered, hands crossed and eyes staring straight into Hoya’s.

“Thanks Sungyeol.” Hoya rhetorically replied, rolling his eyes at the male who was chuckling later. Even the sound of dolphin-like laughter didn’t annoy him as much as it usually did, instead it sounded pretty creepy to him. “Yah. Stop laughing..” Hoya slapped onto Sungyeol’s arm and the latter grunted in pain.

“Ouch.. what’s wrong with you.. something happened today?” Sungyeol asked, rubbing his sore arm. He eyed the man in front of him who was then staring blankly at the window. There was nothing interesting to see as it was already night out there, except for the darkness and the little light from the lamps all down there.

Something did happen. Hoya hesitated whether to tell Sungyeol about that, but he bet later this nurse will roll on the floor and laugh hard at how he’s getting scared like that. They knew each other for years and Hoya never looked like a person who would fall off a chair after being booed by an unseen figure that somehow speaks. It concerned his own pride, but he’s a normal human too.
“Hey. What’s wrong?” Sungyeol called, already waving his hand in front of Hoya who spaced out for a while.

“Ehmm. Nope, nothing.” Hoya shook his head, and later he rested his elbow on the side of the bed, staring at the still Sunggyu.

Sungyeol noticed the look in Hoya’s eyes. It wasn’t obviously the look that conveyed how Hoya longed for his boyfriend to wake up, since pulling up a straight emotionless face was Hoya’s specialty. But Sungyeol had been there nursing Sunggyu since he got admitted in here, and he had known Hoya well so he could read that one sorrow expression from Hoya’s face. No matter how strong you feel that everything’s going to be fine, there’ll be this one tiny voice screaming the opposite. Shrieking the worst possibilities that nobody even dare to think about. Feeling that he had to, Sungyeol raised his hand and softly placed his palm on Hoya’s shoulder.

“The day will come. Trust me, Hoya.” He squeezed his shoulder a little, before he retreated. Hoya whipped his head towards Sungyeol.

“You’re leaving?” Hoya asked, there was a bit of peculiar nervousness in his tone of query that made Sungyeol cocked his head to the side. Not even once that Hoya had ever asked such question, with such weird tone that he had never used.

“Umm, yup? I got works to do.” Sungyeol replied, as his hands naturally switched the lights off, letting the night stand illuminating the room dimly like he always did when the clock stroke 11 pm.

“Oh.. uh okay..” Hoya nodded slowly. The sudden change in the lighting of the room made him shudder a little. Like he didn’t dare to set his eyes on any darker spot at the corners of the room.

“Dude. If anything happens, just call me. You’re being weird today..” Sungyeol said, before he walked out of the room, leaving the two alone.

Hoya sat facing Sunggyu, as he exhaled his nervousness out of his lungs. He was unaware of the feelings himself, at how he suddenly felt so afraid like this. And how the room suddenly turned to feel much colder, again. There was weird images beginning to form in his head, but he quickly brushed them away, and grabbed Sunggyu’s warm hand.

Like magic, he felt rather calmer after that, as if just by touching Sunggyu would give him such comforting effect. Sunggyu was his sanctuary. His hugs was the best soother in the world. The way that body used to wrap him in a big and lovely hug, and there’ll be some sweet murmurs from those pair of cute lips whenever he’s feeling down. Or when he was just feeling like he wanted to be hugged by Sunggyu. Like, right at that moment. He stared hopefully at Sunggyu. Only the rising and falling of the chest showed that there was still a soul inside that silent body. Hoya pressed his lips into thin line, suppressing the upcoming feeling that he hated to have. People say chance exists, but human tend to lose the faith on it. Hoya was trying damn hard not to do the latter.

“Hyung.. when will you hug me again?” Hoya squeezed Sunggyu’s hand, as he began to feel the growing lump inside his throat. “Are you.. going to leave me?” He muttered and felt each of the words grazed his lips painfully that they started to tremble. That was something he could never imagine, to live alone without Sunggyu. It was so scary that his sane mind wasn’t able to predict at all.

“He’s doing his best.”
Hoya froze. That was the same voice he heard before. He began to question whether he’s in his right mind or his sanity has gone out of his head. Timidly, he looked up to where the voice was heard. All of sudden, goose bumps was spread all over his skin the moment he caught something in his eyes. In the dim room, at the corner next to the window stood a figure, clearly a man around his age, who was crossing his arms on his chest, and was eyeing at Hoya with such gaze that magnetically fixed Hoya’s sight at him. Hoya abruptly stood up and pointed his index finger towards that man, shaking.

“Y-you.. who are you? H-how.. did you get in here?” Hoya widened his eyes. Later he noticed a faint smile flashed at him as if it would erase the shock that wasn’t ceasing from his face.

“I’m Woohyun. Nam Woohyun.” He replied. Hoya was slightly stunned by the introduction, that wasn’t something he expected first. As if he should know anybody named Nam Woohyun in his life.

“You.. were the one that frightened me this morning.. weren’t you?”

“Obviously.”

“What.. are you?”

Woohyun raised his one brow, and uncrossed his arms. “Well.. what do you think I am?”

Hoya stood still, nothing came into his mind on what he’s supposed to answer. He knitted his brows together and blinked his eyes for few times. Woohyun chuckled, as he moved approaching Hoya who already had his face as pale as his. Each step that Woohyun took, turned Hoya’s face a shade paler.

“God.. you’re turning paler. Come on I’m not a ghost, Hoya.”

Hoya trembled even more by the mention of his name. “How.. did you know my name?”

“I’ve been observing.”

“For how long?”

Woohyun cocked his head to the side, and tapped his chin with his fingers. “Hmm.. since the day you danced in a panda pyjama here in this room? You caught my attention and I decided to stay here since that day..” Woohyun then smiled, teasingly.

But not Hoya who started to grow more knots inside his head. And embarrassment slapped him harshly when the memory of him dancing as a panda in this room came flooding into his mind. That was a month ago, it was Sunggyu’s birthday and he actually danced a very cute dance that was so not his style, but for the sake of Sunggyu who always wanted to see him doing aegyo, he did. And he thought nobody saw it. He had make sure the room was free of CCTV but he never knew there was someone else watching.

“T-that was..”

“His birthday. I know..” Woohyun cut, a tad of jealousy chimed in his tone. He took the empty spot on the other side of the bed, and stared at Sunggyu. “Why he is so lucky to have you..” He muttered, and that didn’t go unheard by Hoya.

The fear soon turned to curiosity. Hoya eyed him, even though he could faintly see through Woohyun’s body of which indicating that Woohyun was not in the same form as him. He studied Woohyun’s face, and he noted the forlorn expression that Woohyun wore, the dull glint of loneliness in his eyes. As if sadness was radiating from him, for a reason that Hoya still needed to figure out.

Despite his pale face, Woohyun looked much better that moment compared to when he scarily surprised Hoya in the morning. His hair was sort of dishevelled a bit but looked fluffy enough, his side profile looked quite attractive and later Hoya’s eyes went to his lips, where the lower part was bitten. Hoya was sure he saw little dimples when Woohyun teasingly smiled earlier but then it’s gone. He ran his gaze down and it stopped at Woohyun’s right collarbone, where he spotted something on it, like a mark or something that resembled a tattoo. It seemed like numbers, or letters. But the lighting in the room disallowed him to figure out what that was.

“Will I ever get the same thing as this Sunggyu does?” Woohyun resounded, and that brought Hoya back into the situation, staring back at Woohyun.

“What do you mean?”

“If that’s the only thing that I wanted, will everything turn to normal again after this?” Woohyun directed the question to Hoya, although Hoya was sure he was in no power in confirming what Woohyun was questioning about. Heck he didn’t have any idea of what was the thing this Woohyun wanted.

“Woohyun.. are you.. perhaps.. one of those wandering souls?” Hoya blurted, thanks to his mind that gave out some ideas out of all those fantasy movies and dramas.

Woohyun snorted. “Haha.. you’re funny. Wandering souls. I don’t know, it’s more of a trapped soul. With a deadline. And being forgotten.”

Guilt pricked, Hoya regretted for asking. He didn’t want to think of Woohyun as a ghost, or a soul. He’s not dumb, so he knew what Woohyun meant of being forgotten. Somehow he felt sorry that Woohyun saw everything that he did for Sunggyu. He didn’t want to brag but if there’s an award of the most loving and caring boyfriend Hoya would most probably win it, considering all the time he spent loyally by Sunggyu’s side.

“Hoya..” Woohyun called and when Hoya looked up, Woohyun was already towering over him.

“Y-yeah?” It still sounded weird that Woohyun called his name like he knew Hoya so well. Maybe it’s true that Woohyun had been observing him for a long time.

“Can you.. touch my face?” He requested, in such voice that sounded either pleading or demanding. Hoya wasn’t sure which one was, but the next thing he knew, he’s standing and facing Woohyun. It’s strange that he didn’t think twice on the rational of following what Woohyun asked for, but his hand was instinctively raised, and was placed on Woohyun’s face.

There was a cold feeling under his palms, but he felt nothing more under his skin. The coldness was like the air, and he could see in Woohyun’s expression that the latter felt the same. Not a little bit of the warmness in Hoya’s palm was felt on his cheeks. Woohyun withdrew his face away disappointedly.

“I knew it. I should have known it.” Woohyun murmured.

“Woohyun..” Hoya looked at him but Woohyun averted his gaze. So he looked down but once again his sight caught the one thing he wanted to look at closely before. The mark on his collarbone, was actually numbers. 43, in bold black written on the pale skin of his collarbone.

“Well.. that’s enough I guess.. see you again.” That was Woohyun’s last words before he vanished into thin air, and Hoya was sure before that happened he saw a drop of tear on Woohyun’s pale cheek.

ღ

It was evening when the customers of the café began to decrease, and only then Hoya got the chance to slump himself onto the soft cushioned chair out of the café. He rested his head on the headrest, and closed his eyes trying to brush away the exhaustion of managing the café alone. He did have few helpful workers, but things had been different since Sunggyu was not working there anymore.

Every day when he was in the café, he’ll be only thinking about Sunggyu, and wishing the weekdays to end quickly so Sunday will arrive and he’ll get to be by Sunggyu’s side again. But since the encounter with Woohyun days ago, Woohyun was another person that he kept thinking about.

There was some sort of connection between them, whether that was just the game of feelings. But the loneliness, they seemed to share the same thing. A little voice inside of him told him at how he’s not supposed to betray his own feeling with that kind of thoughts, but the mere connection that he felt when he tried to feel Woohyun’s face grew that one feeling of wanting to know more about the soul called Woohyun. To see whether Woohyun’s existence worth his concern. Or at least, he’s trying to help.

Or maybe, Woohyun’s sudden existence meant there’s this one chance for him. The once chance that could connect him to the world he wished to see.

Immediately, someone came across his mind, and he quickly fished his phone out of his pocket and scrolled the screen down until a name that he wanted appeared.

To : Yeol

Can you find out who Nam Woohyun is?

After he tapped to send the message, he put it back into his pocket. He knew Sungyeol won’t be able to reply instantly, since it’s working hour. He’ll just have to wait patiently.

ღ

Hoya later dismissed the thought of waiting patiently after getting no reply from Sungyeol that night. He tried to call him, but to no avail as the other’s phone was switched off. Text messages had been obviously useless already. He should have predict this, considering that friend of his was quite unreachable via phone, always and that usually frustrates him. So there he was again, standing in front of Sunggyu’s room even though it’s still Thursday and there are two days more before Sunday.

He pushed the door open, and as expected he saw the one that he was looking for. For the first time it wasn’t Sunggyu whom he was looking for but he tried not to think much of it or the guilt would grow inside him. But to his horror, Woohyun wasn’t standing in the corner nor sitting by Sunggyu’s bedside. But he was crouching on the window sill, back facing Hoya and seemed to be unaware of Hoya’s presence.

With the fact that Sunggyu’s room was on the 17th floor. Nothing else came across his mind as his feet moved faster than his sane mind.

“What are you doing there it’s dangerous!!” Hoya ran towards the window and as quick as he could he reached for Woohyun. However, by the moment his hand went through thin air instead of touching Woohyun, he then realized how stupid he was to forgetting that Woohyun wasn’t the same as him - he’s not human - and thus crouching dangerously at the window threaten not even a bit of his life.

At the same time Woohyun was shocked for the sudden loudness and he was even more surprised to have a hand protruding out of his chest. It felt ticklish a bit but he tried not to feel disgusted by the fact that Hoya’s hand was passing through his inner organs that moment.

“Hoya?” He turned around, calling for Hoya who was stunned for a while.

“Oh.. sorry.. I forgot about this.” Hoya muttered slowly, retreating his hand. Seeing at Hoya turning to blush in embarrassment, Woohyun hopped off the window and smiled. Hoya looked at his chest where his hand was supposed to popped out just now, but then his eyes caught the number of 47 on Woohyun’s collarbone. Shortly he was reminded that the number was different before this, but he can’t remember what was the number that he saw previously.

“Well. It’s okay. I feel rather honoured, you went after me first instead of going to Sunggyu when you stepped in here..”

Woohyun’s words jabbed his heart, and he quickly threw a glance at Sunggyu. He shouldn’t feel that apologetic though, but he felt rather guilty, and was somehow afraid if Sunggyu was actually listening to them.

“Well..” Hoya started, his hand rubbing his nape. “Sunggyu hyung is still the reason that I’m here..” He said, walking towards Sunggyu’s bed, and sat on the chair.

The smile on Woohyun’s face stayed, but this time it looked rather forced. “Okay. But I have this feeling that I’m also one of the reasons that you came.” Woohyun said.

“Fine. Alright. I can’t stop thinking about you, on the reasons why you’re suddenly here. Nothing more than that, and it actually concerns Sunggyu here.” Hoya uttered, trying to sound as firm as he could as not to give any different meaning to Woohyun.

Woohyun’s stare gave an icy feeling as soon as Hoya finished saying that. He understood what Hoya was conveying. But still, he sat next to Hoya. “Okay. What is it about that made you come here even though it’s not even Sunday tomorrow?” There was hint of edginess in his velvety voice.

Hoya didn’t proceed on speaking, but he inhaled a great amount of air as to supply some strength to him before he started. “Look. I don’t have any idea on why you’re here wandering only in this room. You said you’re trapped so I take it that way. But do you.. perhaps..” He paused, and he looked at Woohyun to make sure he’s listening.

“What?” Impatiently Woohyun responded.

“..do you.. see Sunggyu hyung too?”

Woohyun’s expression instantly turned sour upon that question, no matter how Hoya’s hopeful face was, it looked pathetic in his eyes. He stood up, although his sudden action didn’t make any sound of screeching chair or whatsoever since he’s just a soul but still, Hoya was shocked when he suddenly got up.

“You.. all you ever care is Sunggyu. No matter how pathetic I’ve made myself look, I’m still nothing in your eyes. You never bother to ask about me.. Everything’s about Sunggyu..” Woohyun raised his voice in reply, and Hoya was truly taken aback.

“No.. Woohyun. It’s not like that..”

“I’m just a forgotten soul, and even now nobody wants to care about me. I understand that.”

“Well I actually - “

“And who cares I only have this one wish but heck nothing could be done and I’m - “

“No! Listen! You should understand how I feel too!” Hoya shouted back. “I.. am so desperate right now. It has been too long, too long that I’m getting crazy for having no clue on what’s happening to Sunggyu. When will he wake up, and will he remember me the moment he opens his eyes. I love him like crazy, and you should understand that feeling..” His voice trailed into a slower tone, at the end of his words his voice trembled.

Woohyun just scoffed. “And you can never understand mine then. Mine’s worse.”

“Woohyun..” Hoya called, once again regretting his sudden outburst.

“Sorry. Your Sunggyu, I don’t see him anywhere. And that’s actually a good news for you.” Woohyun gave him one last look before he disappeared, leaving Hoya in a guiltily clueless state.

Just what did Woohyun mean about that, he tried to process it. And yet he could hardly understand.

ღ

To : Hoya

I’ve found out who this Woohyun is.

A day later, Hoya was there again in the hospital, in a room similar to the one that Sunggyu was in. Finally after waiting for quite a long time, Sungyeol contacted him and he actually found out who Nam Woohyun was. And that’s the reason on why he and Sungyeol were in the room that day instead of being with Sunggyu.

Lying on the bed in front of him was no other than Woohyun. This time, he can feel Woohyun’s warm body when he touched his hand. His condition was no different than Sunggyu, with the machine beeping by his side. Everything felt familiar, only the weird gloominess was oozing everywhere despite the bright sunlight filling into the room.

“He’s been in this state even longer than Sunggyu does. It has been three years.” Sungyeol spoke, breaking the growing silent in the room. Hoya silently nodded in reply. So, Sungyeol continued, “He was in an accident, and since then he had been lying in coma like this.”

“It was an accident too?” Hoya asked, and followed by Sungyeol’s nod as response.

“His body is getting weaker. But still, considering how badly injured he was after the accident, we were amazed that he’s still surviving until now.” Sungyeol said, almost proudly but that didn’t change the atmosphere in the room that was obviously far from the feisty mood.

He’s getting weaker. That stayed in Hoya’s mind as another puzzle among those that were already piling in his brain. “Did.. anyone visit him? I mean.. like how I did to Sunggyu?” He asked, tried not to make the question sounded pathetic, afraid if there’s the soul Woohyun somewhere listening. He did worry about that.

Sungyeol replied with a sigh. “Well.. sadly no. There was this one guy who visited him every day like you do, but it was just for the first seven months. After that, there was nobody. I couldn’t get into his personal files so I don’t know who were his relatives.”

“I’m just a forgotten soul, and even now nobody wants to care about me.” Woohyun’s previous words resounded in Hoya’s mind, but this time he got a better grasp on why Woohyun muttered that. This time he had stopped asking Sungyeol, and he stepped closer to Woohyun’s bed. He slowly put his hand on Woohyun’s shirt collar and grabbed it. There was something he must see to prove that one notion he decided to hold onto.

When he pulled it down, right on the collarbone there was nothing but pale skin. There wasn’t any tattoo of the number 47 there. His head ached even more, with a mixture of complicated thoughts and a sudden heart-throbbing sadness. His head was making a certain counting. And a sudden realization that came a little bit too late, accompanied by unexplainable regret, somehow.

“..and a deadline..”

ღ

Hoya woke up when he felt his throat was too dry to even swallow his own saliva. Not that he really slept well to be irritated by the thirst. He just didn’t feel like sleeping anymore even though the wall clock showed him it’s 4 am, still few hours more before the sun rises. He rubbed his eyes lazily with his back straightened against the chair as he searched for a bottle of water he remembered he put under the bedside desk.

The cold water went down his throat, and he felt better. Then he closed his eyes for a moment, head tilted backward and mouth parted a little, trying to erase everything, just everything that was bugging him out of his mind. The guilt, the longing, the curiosity. But to make it work, it’s impossible. A big sigh escaped his lips and he gave up, staring at the still Sunggyu instead.

He closed the distance between him and Sunggyu, and ended up having his nose nuzzling Sunggyu’s shoulder as he lied his head next to him on the soft pillow, hand grabbing Sunggyu’s gently. “Hyung.. I need you. I just.. don’t know what to feel anymore.” He wanted to say out it’s the guy named Nam Woohyun who made him become restless like this, but it seemed not good to mention that to Sunggyu no matter how bad he felt on what had happen to Woohyun, and whether his guesses about the poor lad was correct. No, he should pity himself for turning things to worse, for letting something to leave him before he could do anything.

He filled the spaces in between Sunggyu’s fingers with his own, and sniffed the sweet scent of Sunggyu. It’s like his own therapy, to be just beside Sunggyu like that although the latter hasn’t talk for quite some time.

Then he felt something peculiar under his palm. Something that he hadn’t felt for a long time, and he froze upon that. He squeezed Sunggyu’s hand a little bit harder and released it shortly, his heart began to pound already. He waited for a moment, before that one feeling came again.

Sunggyu’s hand squeezed his hand, weakly.

Hoya jolted upright, staring unbelievably at Sunggyu and finally he could see the older’s eyelid weres fluttering slowly, and the breathing got a bit heavier than usual. The chest was rising a bit too high, and if Hoya wasn’t mistaken there was a small furrow on Sunggyu’s eyebrows. Was that pain? What was happening? He grew panic, worries attacked him.

“Hyung.. h-hyung. Sunggyu hyung!!” His trembling voice echoes in the room, hands holding firmly onto Sunggyu’s hand and shoulder, shaking the older. But the condition didn’t change, so before it turned worse Hoya took his cellphone and dialled for Sungyeol. It’s like an unwritten promise, even though he could just push the button on the bedhead, he felt like Sungyeol should be there first out of everything. The phone call was greeted by a hoarse and obviously annoyed groggy voice of Sungyeol but the tone changed upon hearing to Hoya’s nervous voice.

“Yah.. Sungyeol ah! Come here now. Please, quick!” He spoke to the other line, eyes never left Sunggyu who was squeezing harder on his hand. Then, his mouth was opened a bit, and Hoya can’t help but to widen his eyes.

“H-howon..”

Like the time had stopped and nothing else existed in the room, Hoya stood still listening to the faint voice he just heard. That came from Sunggyu. Echoing in his mind like a mantra that refused to go away.

“Howon.. ah” Sunggyu called again, this time it was clearer. And Hoya forgot everything that has been worrying him.

ღ

“Dude. Just sleep. You look like a zombie now.” Sungyeol poked Hoya on the arm, causing the latter to grunt in annoyance and ignored Sungyeol’s words. He then continued to stare attentively at the sleeping Sunggyu in front of him.

Yes, sleeping. Because his Sunggyu wasn’t in the comatose state anymore after the quite dramatic scene that happened few hours ago. After the long wait, he felt like the happiest man on earth to have Sunggyu muttering his name first as soon as he came conscious. Things were a bit chaotic with the overly excited Sungyeol that morning shrieking in happiness when he found out what had happened, and tried to ask lots of questions to Sunggyu but the head nurse and the doctor said to put him to sleep for a moment, since he needed some rest. To Hoya it was ridiculous since Sunggyu had been resting long enough, but he had waited for quite a long time, so to wait for Sunggyu waking up from few hours of sleeping won’t kill.

Only that the day had passed afternoon, and Hoya hadn’t been sleeping since 4 am.

“I must not sleep. There are better thing to do rather than sleeping.” Hoya replied.

“You mean, staring at him like you wanted to yell at him so he’d wake up soon?”

“it’s that obvious?”

“It is.” Sungyeol answered, and later he too joined to stare at Sunggyu. “Well.. I won’t say you can’t wake him up. I’m eager as well. Screw the doctors who wanted to give him some more rest. Sunggyu hyung wanted to wake up, he should wake up by now.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

Sungyeol snorted. “As if you’re less excited than I am.”

“Shut up..” Hoya muttered, looking at the window instead of Sungyeol’s annoying face.

“Hey look..” Sungyeol poked him again on his arm.

“What now?” Hoya moved his arm away from Sungyeol but then the latter grabbed harder onto it.

“Look. Sunggyu hyung..” He pointed at the lying patient, and Hoya whipped his head to see Sunggyu slowly opening his eyes, looking back at Hoya. He moved up from the chair and sat on the bed, excitement was clear on his face and so did on Sungyeol’s.

“Sunggyu hyung!” He called, and for the first time after years, the sweet smile appeared on Sunggyu’s face. The one he missed the most. It was a weak one, but enough to recharge Hoya’s energy, magically. Everything about Sunggyu was magic. “..hyung..” He called again, slowly.

Sunggyu’s mouth were opening and closing, as if he was telling something but the faint voice from his throat was unheard. Hoya lowered his head down, and let Sunggyu whispered into his ears. As he listened, his eyes roamed around the room trying to process what Sunggyu was telling, but when he got what it was, his eyes landed fixed at Sungyeol’s.

“What?” Sungyeol asked questioningly upon the meaningful stare from Hoya.

“Yah.. Sunggyu hyung.. wants to go out.” Hoya said, making Sungyeol to blink his eyes continuously as response.

ღ

It wasn’t somewhere romantic nor special, and it’s even far from a place where lovers would go for a date. Just under a tree in front of a small lake where only few people were present, enjoying the evening view. But it was enough for Hoya and Sunggyu, since what matter the most was that they got to be outside together, after the long wait. Thanks to Sungyeol who had been super supportive and suddenly intelligent at getting Sunggyu out of his ward without anyone knowing, Hoya managed to bring him to the place that wasn’t too far from the hospital.

Sunggyu was leaning onto Hoya’s back casually as the younger carried him on his back. Hoya refused to take the wheelchair as he claimed that he’s strong enough to carry Sunggyu despite the older’s complaint that he’s heavy and Hoya will get back pain.

“Howon ah.. you’re not tired?” Sunggyu whispered, his voice was still croaky. Hoya just chuckled.

“Why should I be tired.. I’m all energetic today, hyung..” He replied, and later he felt Sunggyu’s hand tightened over his shoulders.

“You haven’t slept, right? I heard that tall guy said something like that.” Sunggyu added.

“Hyung. You’re always a nagger, aren’t you?” Hoya looked to the side, even though he couldn’t see Sunggyu’s face, he could feel the latter was smiling.

“I.. just missed you so much.” Sunggyu rested his head on Hoya’s shoulder, letting his soft hair brushing onto Hoya’s side face. “I’m sorry for forcing you to go out. I’m.. just afraid.. if I..” He murmured, and that made Hoya to slow down his pace.

“Don’t say anything, Gyu hyung. I’m just glad, more than glad, that you’re finally here. Let’s not think about anything else, and please don’t be sorry.” Hoya said, trying hard not to obviously show the terror in his voice. Maybe Sunggyu understood that, because later Hoya felt soft fingers tracing his jawline, before they fell loosely on his chest.

“Well.. I’m hungry, Howonnie..” Sunggyu muttered. And there was nothing more that Hoya loved to hear other than a hungry Sunggyu calling him Howonnie sweetly like that.

It was a very beautifully cute scene of Sunggyu munching on his favourite fried rice, to see those cheeks filled with content as Sunggyu shoved in spoons of rice into his mouth. Colours started to appear on Sunggyu’s face, and he looked completely alive by that time. At times he raised both his brows at Hoya who couldn’t stop staring, and the younger will just shake his head and continue to eat his own food. As expected, Sunggyu finished his food faster than Hoya did, and he was already drinking the water while Hoya still had half of his food in the food container.

“Howon ah. Stop staring, and eat.” Sunggyu said.

“Just by looking at you, I feel full enough.” Hoya replied, and he ended the cheesy line with an even cheesy smile.

“Seriously..” Sunggyu murmured, before he moved closer than he already was towards Hoya, and took the spoon from Hoya’s hand. He took a spoonful of the fried rice, and pointed it towards Hoya. “Here. Eat.”

Hoya was more than pleasure to receive it, so he quickly ate the food Sunggyu fed him, and chewed on it blissfully. It tasted wonderful, Sunggyu did his magic again. He thought Sunggyu was about to feed him some more but the latter put down the spoon, and brought his thumb onto the side of Hoya’s mouth.

“You’re like a baby..” He murmured, wiping the tiny bits of rice left at the side of Hoya’s lips.

But, when there’s nothing more there, Sunggyu’s hand stayed there, pressing gently on the cheek. It didn’t take long before their gazes were locked together, and that’s the very moment where once again the surrounding disappeared and the only sound that existed was their own heartbeats resonating the growing longing that they had been containing.

It took few seconds before Hoya drew his face closer and later he felt the soft breathing of Sunggyu brushing onto his lips, making him to part his lips a little, spontaneously. But it took like forever before Sunggyu moved forward and later their lips met, a soft kiss was shared between the two. Hoya melted at the contact, when Sunggyu moved his lips and there was a little innocent movement before Hoya made the first move to gently nibble at Sunggyu’s lower lips, and the kiss wasn’t a close-mouthed one anymore.

Every single emotion was coming out of them as they kissed, passionately, ignoring the fried rice that was long forgotten and had turned cold, ignoring the people around them who might see them. Hands in each other’s hair, pulling each other closer as their body heat increased. Hot breath was hitting both faces, but it’s hard to pull apart as if the years that had separated them had caused them to stick like this and it’s hard to pull away.

Only because they’re human and breathing was what they had to do to live, Hoya was the first one to pull away, reluctantly. He actually could go on longer, but he’s afraid that Sunggyu can’t follow, considering his condition that was still weak. Breathing heavily, Sunggyu was doing the same as he pressed his side face onto Hoya’s and his wet lips were touching Hoya’s cheeks but Hoya was too short of air to take the feeling seriously. Hoya let his hand fell off Sunggyu’s hair and it went down slowly from Sunggyu’s jawline, down to his neck as he cherished the view of the white fair skin. His hand rested at the crook of Sunggyu’s neck.

That was when he caught something shocking, that made him feel like he couldn’t breathe anymore.

ღ

They chatted about stuff, hands intertwined as both leaning into each other with their backs rested on the bark of the shady tree behind them. The sun were setting, so everything was in gold-like colour, the sky was tinted in such colour so beautifully that both of them were stunned by the view for a moment.

“Howon ah.” Sunggyu called, and the younger looked at him after humming a reply. “If this is the last time that you’re going to see me, will you miss me?”

The question. Hoya could feel a layered meaning behind it, and he wasn’t sure on how to feel about it as he figured it out already. He sighed out. “Hyung.”

“I’m asking you a question.” Sunggyu’s voice suddenly turned cold, and Hoya noticed it.

“Look. You should know, your existence doesn’t go unnoticed, there’d be at least someone who’ll remember you, don’t make yourself being all pathetic, coz there is someone to remember you, of course.” Hoya replied, he sounded pretty similar to the cold Sunggyu, but warmth was there somewhere in his utterance.

“Being forgotten hurts, you know.” Sunggyu spoke out, and Hoya wasn’t sure if that was a pout that Sunggyu made.

“You won’t be forgotten. You’re someone special to me. I mean it.” Hoya firmly replied.

“But I don’t feel so. You were about to forget me already. Almost.” Sunggyu responded.

The words should jab into Hoya’s heart and he was supposed to be all stiff and guilty. Because indeed, something happened and Sunggyu was suddenly not the first thing he’s worrying about lately. However, the word turned him guilty but for a different reason. He tried to contain it, but something in his mind urged him to reveal it.

The surrounding was getting darker as the sun was disappearing, setting down and allowing the night to take place. Everything turned gloomy just like how their conversation was like reaching the death, unlike how when they started to chat before that. Without even looking at the person next to him, Hoya breathed out a reply.

“I don’t, and I won’t, Nam Woohyun.”

Not so long after that, he felt the other body stiffened, and the weight on his right shoulder was lifted as he sat up straight. “How do you.. s-since when?”

Hoya turned to look at Sunggyu, clearly it was Sunggyu in front of him, but the stutter and the widening eyes showed someone else that he knew. He could see someone else behind the face. “After we kissed.” He said, before he brought his hand onto the collar of Sunggyu’s shirt, and pulled it down revealing something there. The same mark that he used to see on soul-Woohyun’s collarbone. This time, 49 was written there. Bold and black.

“There. It’s because of this.” Hoya muttered, thumb gently brushing the number that seemed like not going away. The number changed as the days went by, something he realized just recently. He sounded a bit hurt, but that was not what Hoya actually felt. However, Woohyun felt it that way.

The other’s expression went dark, more to a guilty expression that made him bite on the lower lips of Sunggyu’s, the body that he borrowed for the day. To engage Hoya with the kiss wasn’t his initial pan nor intention, but it just happened.

“Sorry. I’m sorry.. you.. must have thought it’s Sunggyu but all I did was.. - “

“Stop.”

“H-hoya..”

“Woohyun. I know you feel guilty. But let me tell you, I am guilty as well. We both are. We longed for the same thing.” Hoya looked into the other’s eyes, with his own pair that started to brim with tears. “And I know, what you feel right now for me, is unreal. Deep in your heart is that someone.” Hoya touched Sunggyu’s chest.

Hoya continued, “I’m sorry, for not realizing about it earlier, for not noticing your approaching deadline. I hope, this is what you’re wishing for.”

“That someone.. has gone. I’m no longer in his remembrance. People change, feelings change. But I’m amazed at you, and your unchanged feeling towards Sunggyu. I thought, I managed to change it, but no. I was wrong. But yeah. My wish is fulfilled, Hoya.” Woohyun flashed a Sunggyu smile.

There was something not right in Woohyun’s word, and Hoya furrowed his brows since it wasn’t what he expected. “Wait. Means, things will turn back to normal, right? You’re no longer need to be trapped in the room, with this counting number on your collarbone, right?”

A soft chuckle responded to Hoya’s question. “49th day, is my deadline. My wish, is to feel loved again, to feel the warmth of being cared. And I had it already, today. You knew I wasn’t Sunggyu after we kissed, but you stayed there for me. I’ll take that as love. I don’t care what you’re going to say.”

“What..?” Hoya felt things were getting ridiculous. “But Woohyun..”

Woohyun ignored the voice of Hoya that wanted him to explain more, but he drew his face closer towards Hoya instead. “Thanks, for granting my wish, Hoya. I’ll have to thank Sunggyu, and say sorry to him as well but I won’t be here so please, tell him those on my behalf.”

“What do you mean?”

“I met Sunggyu, and only then I know why he deserved to have such a loyal lover like you. He’s like an angel. Treat him well, he’ll be by your side soon. Thank you, Hoya.” Woohyun murmured into Hoya’s ears.

“You.. saw him?”

There was no other reply from Woohyun, but the latter then kissed on Hoya’s cheek. They stayed like that for couple of seconds, before Sunggyu’s body fell completely towards Hoya that he had to hold him or he’ll lie onto the grass. He held Sunggyu’s shoulder, and as he moved the older to see his face, there was tears rolling down his cheeks. He ran hiz gaze lower, and noticed there was no more number on the collarbones. It’s gone.

Sunggyu was breathing normally, and when Hoya reached his fingers on Sunggyu’s face to wipe those tears - Woohyun’s tears - away, there was a soft grunt that escaped Sunggyu’s lips. A familiar one that he used to hear before, signalling the thing that Woohyun told him before. It’s a hint of something that he had been waiting, and nothing else could replace the feeling he had at that moment. He hugged Sunggyu tightly, feeling like he might cry any time sooner so he needed Sunggyu to give him strength like that boyfriend of his always did.

He looked up into the dark sky, the dark orange-tinted sky and slowly smiled. “You’re welcome, angel.” He murmured in gratitude.