Used To Be (hoya/myungsoo)
Hoya/Myungsoo, a bit flulff a bit angst. cat!Myungsoo, bc to me he's the band's kitten, lol.
"Dear lord. Let me be the one to replace his tears with smiles."
.
.
It felt weird. It felt totally weird. He tried to pry his eyes open, but it felt strangely weird that his heart thumped wildly. Somehow the coldness seeped into his skin, and that’s even weirder because he’s not supposed to feel cold, since he’s always with this one feature that keeps him warm. But that morning, he felt like he’s not in his body. Getting up from the slumber, he stretched his jaw to yawn. But that didn’t feel like usual too. Slowly, he opened his eyes, as he touched his own face.
His face, it didn’t feel like how it used to be. Why was it so smooth, so soft. And furless? And wait. Were those fingers, that had just rubbed on his face? He jolted upright on the bed as the thought crossed his mind.
In front of him, was a mirror. And he let out the most human-like shriek and later got even more shock by that.
***
The sun had risen a bit, bathing the sky with the morning gleam. Hoya didn’t need to check on his watch to figure out what the time is. With one last stretching to cool down his body after the morning jog, he grabbed his empty water bottle and headed to his apartment. It has been his daily routine in order to keep his body well fit, but more than that, he actually just love to feel the morning breeze where everything was still calm and serene. It helped, after those things that had been bothering him since last night. Since the nights before. No, he just didn’t want to think about it anymore.
The walk to his apartment didn’t take more than 10 minutes, and as he stood in front of his door he unlocked the door. As soon as the door was opened, like usual he called out for another friend who had always accompanied him in that lonely apartment of his.
“Myung ah!!” He called, waiting for a few moment. There was silence, and that was weird because Myung never ignored him. But when he heard the ringing little bell later, he smiled. He walked towards the living room to greet that cute friend of him.
But never did he expect to have a half-naked boy who was only in a white pants, clearly taller than him came rushing towards him. He didn’t have enough time to register what was happening, who was the person intruding his house, and whether that was his right house or was he just simply still dreaming when he felt his body crashing backward. The boy had jumped onto him, clinging tightly onto his neck and oh he felt the breath hitting on his neck as well despite the pain that grew as his back met the rough floor.
“Aargh!!” He yelped in pain, it’s not just his back starting to get numb by the pain, but also with the quite heavy boy on top of him. He pushed the boy upward, and the boy was startled, lost his balance and fell to the side. “Wait! Who the hell are you?” He asked, in defence he inched away from the boy who began to pout in confuse.
“I.. am your Myung. Myungsoo..” That boy replied, his face was contorted in somewhat fascinated expression as the utterance was made.
Hoya widened his eyes, and he was convinced his head had knocked the floor that he started to be confused with what’s happening. “Haha so funny. My Myung is a cat.”
“But I am Myung. I was a cat. Now.. apparently I am.. human.” Myungsoo replied to the frightened Hoya. The older didn’t seem to be convinced. Then Myungsoo looked down at his wrist, and he smiled. “Look! Here’s the little purple bell you bought for me last year when you brought me to Busan. Remember?” He swayed his hand, ringing the bell and Hoya was even more frightened by that.
If only his lower jaw could be detached, it has fallen onto the ground earlier as he stayed gaping after hearing what Myungsoo had said.
***
“Cliché as it may sound, but I wasn’t born as a cat.”
Hoya pondered at the words Myungsoo had told him. He wanted to ask more, but he heard the cat-now-human Myungsoo’s stomach growled. He just remembered he haven’t fed his then-cat that morning. He did went into his room, hoping to find his cat sleeping on his bed but nothing was there. Not even any dead cat (that was the last thing he hoped not to find, and he was slightly glad he didn’t).
As Hoya poured some milk into a mug (he didn’t need the bowl anymore, he guessed) he looked over his shoulder to Myungsoo who was sitting on the couch, that boy did look a bit awkward sitting pretty straight on the couch, facing the window. Myungsoo’s hair was messed up, and that was his white short pants that Myungsoo was wearing.
And he just helped to put the black shirt of his on Myungsoo because that boy said “I managed to wear this pants because I saw how you did it, but wearing the shirt was so hard my head didn’t come out and I was scared.”
He brought the mug of milk and sat beside Myungsoo who went to clung onto his arm as soon as Hoya was beside him.
“Hyung it felt so nice to be human .” Myungsoo muttered, smiling till his dimples showed up and that was like the most beautiful view Hoya had ever seen. Myungsoo’s eyes glistened in joy, and the sincerity in that expression was overwhelming. Hoya’s rigid body loosened up a bit.
“Are you even a human to start with?” Hoya responded, despite how he began to feel calm around Myungsoo, his suspicions didn’t die. Myungsoo’s hand tightened on his arm, head resting on Hoya’s shoulder.
“Will you believe if I say I was a fallen angel from heaven cursed to be sent to earth in the form of a cat because of one mistake I did to a cat previously when I was taking a stroll on earth?” Myungsoo asked, his face was super innocent and his eyes were so clear like they were two pools of ice yet warmth was there oozing from the gaze. Like there were no lies.
But Hoya got back to his sense and scoffed. “That’s the second most cliché thing I’ve ever heard this morning. And you seemed pretty awkward in this.. human form of yours so how can I believe you used to live in this.. form before?”
“Why won’t you believe to your Myungie…” Myungsoo pouted, breaking his contact with Hoya and sat a bit further away from Hoya. Hoya recognised the reaction, that was what Myung always do when he teased the then-cat, the black cat will further away.
Hoya cleared his throat, unable to react normally to that and stretched out his hand to give the milk to Myungsoo. “Anyway, drink this first. I know you’re hungry, but I haven’t cooked yet.” He said, trying to make the conversation as normal as he could, without taking into his mind that it was his cat-but-now-human he was talking to.
Myungsoo stared at the mug, and grabbed it with both his hands. “Oh milk!” He cheered up, and Hoya swore Myungsoo was utterly cute that time. He stood up, rubbing his palms onto his hips.
“Okay. Drink.. well. I’m going to wash up.” He looked at Myungsoo, but he was taken aback at how Myungsoo was drinking the milk.
Both hands cupping the mug, Myungsoo closed the distance between his face and the mug. And he was sticking his tongue out, lapping the milk at a blazing fast speed and in another blink of eyes the milk was already half of the mug. Realizing he can no longer ‘drink’ the milk, Myungsoo grunted (cutely) and then he looked up at Hoya.
“How.. to drink this?” He asked, and Hoya swore once again he felt like his soul was leaving his body at the sight of the most weirdest thing he ever came across in his life.
“You told me you weren’t born as a cat before!” Hoya said, half shrieking because he was just taken aback.
“I never said I was a human! I was an angel but you didn’t want to believe that!” Myungsoo replied, the same way as the high pitched voice Hoya used. Hurt was etched in his voice and Hoya regretted it because Myungsoo’s face changed into a hurtful one as well.
“Oh.” That leaped out of Hoya’s lips. Angels weren’t supposed to be in a form of a human then. He really needed to learn things well, adapt with these all. “..sorry.”
Myungsoo didn’t reply, but still holding onto that mug and apparently he still wanted to drink. Hoya sat back down, and held the mug, hands over Myungsoo’s warm ones. “Ever saw how I drink from a mug?”
***
Myungsoo sat there in the kitchen, eyeing Hoya who was cooking their lunch. It was supposed to be a breakfast, but heck that morning was pretty chaotic and Hoya almost lost his sense. Myungsoo eyed him with interest, it felt super amazing to have this vision as a human. He can look around, watching Hoya moved from left to right without the need to turn his head. Just with the roll of his eyes he could see from the corner of his eyes when Hoya knelt down at the left side of the kitchen to take out a knife from the drawer. He wasn’t even afraid of water anymore since Hoya had taught him how to wash with water so he didn’t need to lick on his fur. The amazing part was he can converse with Hoya, so Hoya can understand everything that he used to meow at his owner every night.
Every night, when Hoya would lie down on his bed, as those similar tears rolled down Hoya’s cheek while holding tight onto Myungsoo, cradling him in a hug. Myungsoo said everything he could to console his owner but sadly, Hoya didn’t understand cat’s language. All of those nights, where Myungsoo wished Hoya would stop saying that one name which hurts him. Whispering “don’t leave me..” even in his sleep, scrunching his face in pain as Myungsoo assumed Hoya must have dreamt of the same thing all over again.
“I’m making chicken soup. Is that okay with you?” Hoya’s voice snapped Myungsoo out of his trance, and he looked at Hoya.
“I don’t know. Anything that a human can eat. Or even cat food, that’s fine I think..” Myungsoo smiled after finishing his words. Hoya winced at the thought of feeding Myungsoo the cat food again.
“I think chicken soup will be just fine.” Hoya said, turning back to the stove.
“Okay! It smells so nice anyway!” Myungsoo exclaimed a bit too excited, and deep in Hoya’s heart, once again he felt the flutters.
“Hyung..” Myungsoo called from across the table. But Hoya was to engrossed in eating his food because he was pretty hungry, his stomach wasn’t filled since last night.
“Hyung…” Myungsoo called again, this time he waved his hand in front of Hoya and the latter looked up to meet his gaze.
“Yeah? Why aren’t you eating? You said you were hungry..” Hoya said as he munched on his rice.
“How.. to exactly use these two steel sticks.. and this one with the rounded edge?” Myungsoo asked (oh so innocently) as he pointed to the utensils. “Should I just.. shove my face onto the rice?”
Hoya almost choked on that, and he blamed himself for being super stupid. Of course Myungsoo didn’t know how to use them, cats don't use chopsticks. Or even spoon. Or any utensils. This was really something new to him, it wasn’t like he’s handling a baby, Myungsoo looked pretty grown up and he’s even taller than Hoya.
And adorable. Like how his cat-Myung used to be.
“Oh.. I’m sorry. And no, don’t eat like a cat. You’re a human now.” Hoya said, amazed at himself at how he sounded like he could accept everything already. Well, he needed to, not like he could protest on the reality that was dawning onto him at that moment.
“So.. oh what if I just use my hands? I really don’t know how to use these things..” Myungsoo pushed the chopsticks away, with his lower lips jutting out in disappointment.
“No! Oh wait.. Let me finish this first.” Hoya took the bowl of soup up, and drank its content before he put it back down, and rose from his seat. Then, he sat beside Myungsoo and took the rice and the spoon. “For today, let me feed you.”
Myungsoo eyed him as he scooped the rice and took the side dishes as well into the spoon. When his eyes met Hoya who finally looked back at him, he flashed the owner of him his bright smile. “I knew it’s always so good to finally become a human. And to meet you especially.” Myungsoo said.
Strangely, Hoya blushed at that. Half of him was still freaked out by the fact that he no longer has his purring cat, but half of him was somehow glad that he finally had someone whom he can talk with in the house. He raised the spoon towards Myungsoo. “Here, eat this.”
With his large gaping mouth, Myungsoo ate what Hoya fed him, and chewed happily as the food tasted so good inside his mouth. He didn’t realize that Hoya was totally fascinated at how Myungsoo’s face was like radiating all the adorability, and those cute appeals by just showing those pair of deep dimples on both of his cheeks.
“So cute.” He murmured, and Myungsoo looked at him, puzzled.
Hoya punched the table side hard after muttering that.
Later in the evening, Hoya decided to take Myungsoo out, since he didn’t have his own clothes, and Hoya’s were quite short and unfitting for Myungsoo’s model-like body. Indeed that young boy has a vaery nice body. Nice face. Nice hair.
Hoya just can’t find any flaw from this boy. Indeed, he was an angel.
So they spent the evening through all shops, and Hoya constantly told Myungsoo he just couldn’t afford any expensive clothing and Myungsoo once again scratch them off with his grin, saying it’s alright and all.
“I don’t mind it, hyung. Really. It’s okay.” Myungsoo kept repeating those words, ending with a smile. The smile that Hoya had already accustomed to, and he loved it.
He was familiarised with it quite fast, feeling like this human Myung wasn’t a stranger at all. And slowly, maybe he didn’t realize it at first but when he did he didn’t feel like letting go, they walked around the town with hands intertwined together. Myungsoo kept leaning close to him as he squealed at every sight of the beautiful view of the town. Hoya had never felt so perfect like that, it has been too long. It has been a while since he felt so full, there wasn’t a bit of emptiness that filled himself that day.
For the first time after days, Hoya smiled at Myungsoo’s cuteness. Chuckled at Myungsoo’s innocent remark on how funny it felt to walk on two feet. Laughed loudly when Myungsoo got pink moustache as he ate his coned ice cream.
***
That night, instead of sleeping in the room, they were both lying in front of the TV in the living room. It was Myungsoo who insisted on that since they usually sleep on the couch together on Saturday nights, when Myungsoo was a cat. But this time the couch won’t let two humans on it so Hoya managed to find an extra mattress that could fit them both.
“This feels so much better!” Myungsoo wrapped his arm over Hoya’s waist as soon as that man lied down. He sniffed the sweet scent from Hoya’s body, noting that he had just taken his shower and it was just so comfortable that he held onto Hoya even more.
“Well.. you really love to cling onto me.” Hoya tried not the show how he was still perplexed a bit by all the new skinships he was having with Myungsoo.
“I’d even like to lick your hands but that would seem to be inappropriate since I’m a human now. So hugging won’t be problematic, right?” Myungsoo shot Hoya his gaze, and the latter averted it.
“Uh yeah.” That was all he could say.
“Are you.. feeling uncomfortable, hyung?”
“Hmm? No. No, I mean why should I?”
“You seem..” Myungsoo stopped talking, his gaze changed to a forlorn look.
“No.. Myung ah..” Hoya sat up. “I’m.. yeah. I’m still shocked actually. But, I’m not uncomfortable. Really.” Hoya scratched his nape, no more words were registered into his brain. He didn’t want to make Myungsoo sad. That boy, even just a pout from him will make Hoya’s heart crush a bit. There was like a responsibility of not to make Myungsoo feel down, or whatever that make the young boy loses his bright smile.
Myungsoo sat up as well, crossing his legs after seeing how Hoya did it. “Know what? I didn’t know this will happen as well. But I just want you to know, I’m glad it happened. I’m glad, god hears what I’ve been wishing every night.” Myungsoo held Hoya’s hand and squeezed it. “It’s good, that finally I can hold your hand like this..” He circled his thumb at the back of Hoya’s hand. “..and give you the warmth from my hand that I’ve been wanting to give before.”
There was silence, as Hoya stared at Myungsoo, and yes when Myungsoo held his hand like that it was so comforting. Much more comforting that he didn’t feel the sadness that had been repeating like the nights before.
The sadness. It didn’t happen that night. The realization struck him.
“Wait. Does that mean. Every night when I was..”
“Yeah. Every night, when you kept muttering that man’s name and you fell asleep in tears, my heart hurts even more. I wished I could replace that man’s position, and let you smile instead of crying.” Myungsoo said, his eyes were calm and his voice was unwavering.
The thought of that man reminded Hoya of the pain. Rejection was never sweet.
“You.. understood them all?”
“Hyung. You’re the only one who didn’t understand me before this. As you cried I purred in sympathy. When you cursed on yourself I growled, opposing. When you hung your head low between your knees I meowed to get your attention and distract you from the sadness.” Myungsoo’s voice went down, this time it was shaken a bit. Hoya knew, Myungsoo was hurt.
Myungsoo was biting the inside of his cheeks, not wanting to cry. Heck, he had never cry before and this was the first time and it felt so new and weird. The feeling inside of him. But then he felt his body being pulled forward, and later he’s in an embrace. The sweet smell of Hoya filled his nostrils, as a pair of arms wrapped his back.
“I’m sorry..” Hoya murmured, against Myungsoo’s shoulder. “You’re the only one that hears everything. I’m so glad, so so glad I don’t know how to say this in words.” He hugged the other tighter.
“Hyung..”
“..”
“Don’t cry. Don’t ruin the mood will you?”
Hoya actually laughed at that. Myungsoo was really the best at changing the mood. He broke the hug and held the other in an arm’s length apart. “You’re the one who started this all..”
“I just want you to know that though..” Myungsoo tilted his head to the side, even though the living room was only lit by the light from the TV Hoya can see clearly the nicely deep dimples on Myungsoo’s face. He was smiling again. He didn’t know what has he done that god had sent him an angel (used to be) and all of his sadness was replaced with such new feelings at once.
“But yeah. I just can’t cry anymore. You’re too cute I can’t even handle this.” Finally Hoya can pinch Myungsoo’s cheek and the latter whined.
“You just wanted to say that since this morning right?” Myungsoo rubbed his cheek, it wasn’t sore but since Hoya liked it that he acted cutely (not that he acted it out, it was natural actually) he pouted again.
Hoya brought his hand on Myungsoo’s cheek, rubbing it softly too. Myungsoo enjoyed it. It was much better that having Hoya playing with his fur, trailing his index finger on his nose and playing with his long whiskers if not his tail. To feel the warmth like this was much more enjoyable, and Myungsoo pressed his face more onto Hoya’s palm, eyes fluttering to close.
So he didn’t see Hoya leaning forward to him, and sealed a kiss onto his lips. That warmth was rather different from the one that he felt on his cheek. It was soft and intriguing, chaste yet so brave. Hoya pressed a bit more onto Myungsoo’s lips, feeling how nice it was to kiss him. How good it was to finally let the past go away and let the present makes its way into his life once again.
Myungsoo’s hand crawled onto Hoya’s chest, grabbing a fistful of the shirt as he was totally melted by the kiss. It was a short yet fulfilling. After few seconds of it that strangely felt like hours to both of them, Hoya pulled away from the kiss and stared at Myungsoo who was slowly opening his eyes again.
“..I’m not gonna say sorry for that. I felt like kissing you so I did.” He said, although it’s weird that the fact was he kissed Myungsoo who used to be his cat before this.
“Well.. at least I don’t need to lick anymore coz now I can kiss.” Myungsoo grinned, before he leaned forward and gave a peck on Hoya’s cheek. “And I felt like kissing your cheek as well.” He said, before he tugged Hoya down until they both were lying back on the mattress.
Hoya adjusted his position until his head was comfortably on the pillow, and brought Myungsoo closer to his chest, his arms was below Myungsoo’s head. “You just always wanted to cuddle with me every night eh, Myung ah..”
Myungsoo squealed a little hearing that pet name. Finally, Hoya wasn’t being al stranger to him anymore. “I used to be your cat, and you’re my owner so what’s wrong with that..” He buried his face into the softness of Hoya’s shirt.
“I’m not your owner. From now on I’m your Hoya hyung.” Hoya put his arm over Myungsoo’s body, although the latter was taller than him that didn’t really bother him.
“Hoya hyung.. ngee..” Myungsoo giggled, hugging Hoya even more as the other ruffled his hair softly. The TV in front of them was long forgotten, and soon Hoya switched it off as he realized Myungsoo had already drifted to sleep. It was weird, totally weird at how all of these were happening in one day, his life was starting anew. It’s even weirder to finally have someone to cuddle with at nights.
And for the first time after a while, he forgot about his painful past, and ready for a quite exciting tomorrow that he’s going to go through with his cat-but-now-human Myungie.