(no subject)
I've spent the last 3 days in a state of complete exhaustion. Yet I'm not going to sleep any earlier than usual. One would think I would have the good sense to do so... but I don't.
I'm in a funk again. Suprise, suprise. It's not like a severe depression... just a general lack of motivation to do certain things... a feeling of jadedness. I've felt lately like certain things were "stealing my thunder" so to speak. But I've come to realize that is not the case... becasue I really didn't have anything for them to steal. It's become obvious that sometimes I can be in a room and my presence can go completely unnoticed. Probably just one of those paranoid fears of mine... but it seems to happen a lot... not so much with friends, but it does happen then too. And maybe some of it is just in my mind... but it still makes me feel very distant.
And I'm sure it doesn't help that I spend so much time up at night, after everyone else is in bed. The lonely hours of the night will plague any man's mind...
Man... I'm so tired right now... but I don't konw that I'm gonna go to bed... although it's not like I really have any reason to stay up. I'm just... hell, I don't know why I don't sleep. Maybe it's because most days I feel like I waste a ton of the day, if not the majority of it. And as such I feel that if I stay up longer I will accomplish something... maybe... maybe I just feel like in most ways each day is just a repeat of the last.
Hmm... I hope I can get some sleep tonight... there are a lot of things that are on my mind.
Guess I'll be done with this for now... not much else I can say here.
I'm in a funk again. Suprise, suprise. It's not like a severe depression... just a general lack of motivation to do certain things... a feeling of jadedness. I've felt lately like certain things were "stealing my thunder" so to speak. But I've come to realize that is not the case... becasue I really didn't have anything for them to steal. It's become obvious that sometimes I can be in a room and my presence can go completely unnoticed. Probably just one of those paranoid fears of mine... but it seems to happen a lot... not so much with friends, but it does happen then too. And maybe some of it is just in my mind... but it still makes me feel very distant.
And I'm sure it doesn't help that I spend so much time up at night, after everyone else is in bed. The lonely hours of the night will plague any man's mind...
Man... I'm so tired right now... but I don't konw that I'm gonna go to bed... although it's not like I really have any reason to stay up. I'm just... hell, I don't know why I don't sleep. Maybe it's because most days I feel like I waste a ton of the day, if not the majority of it. And as such I feel that if I stay up longer I will accomplish something... maybe... maybe I just feel like in most ways each day is just a repeat of the last.
Hmm... I hope I can get some sleep tonight... there are a lot of things that are on my mind.
Guess I'll be done with this for now... not much else I can say here.