(no subject)
Been thinking. Dangerous times.
One of the things I missed most about fandom was interacting with people - getting to virtually hug people and sob about how amazing these characters are is like, the best bit of fandom. But around me right now I've got crickets. And I really really really love these characters and want to do the happy-sobbing in company. And I'm considering my options a bit, though I feel a bit anxious in them.
I suspect that Livejournal and Dreamwidth are a bit dead, and I don't know if that's true or if just no-one likes my writing and thus doesn't come by here so I *think* it's dead (legit; no-one's obliged to come by here or like anything I post, and it won't stop me writing, I've had no more than half a dozen readers in years, it's a mutual no foul). I've been away for so long I genuinely don't know where you go on these sites to find other people anymore, oops. But maybe there are communities on here? I don't know. I have pretty epic anxiety about going out into fandom spaces, as people who've known me for a while probably already know. The kind of anxiety that makes me physically ill. Which brings me onto the second option apart from just finding some damn people where I already am:
Tumblr! I don't think it's for me. For one thing I would have to have a fandom blog as a *secondary* tumblr (I do have one, for - well, art and craft objects, which is my day job; it's only for personal reference and I don't interact with anyone), which is pretty awkward for a fanfic blog. Also I sometimes post porn, which is a problem on tumblr. Also I really, really, really don't like fandom tumblr, I don't like tumblr culture in general, I'm sure it's fun if you don't have crippling anxiety but the way some people talk and treat each other on there - nope. Big massive nope. Anxiety goes straight to my stomach and I puke for a week without sleeping, I don't think it's for me. Third option:
Ao3 is so big it also raises the anxiety to pretty awful levels, as though it would give me access to a lot of people, it's too many people ^^; Also I'm aware that if I ever posted anything on there I'd likely get a deluge of anonymi asking me to put all my old stuff up on there and lol I have ME I'm in pain typing this I'm in pain every fucking moment of the day and I sleep like Crowley, I can barely manage what I'm doing here and now, do not ask me to do what is to me ancient admin; that fic is where it is and staying where it is. Ao3 is just too big, it's too intimidating a space. So my option four is:
Guys, where else is there? What are the medium level fanspaces nowadays? Where can you hang out and it's chill and you get to purr over how much you love the characters you love with people but *everyone in the universe* isn't already there?
I'm an old lady and ill and very, very tired, and the internet is just baffling to me nowadays. I miss fandom but I don't know if I'm cut out for it anymore when I see some of the ways it shapes itself now. I feel old. And tired. I feel like all the angels and demons are excited for the apocalypse starting and I just want the world to carry on as it is so I can go to bed with my book at the end of the day. Not entirely helpful metaphor. But if anyone can answer any of the vague questions above, do let me know? The best part of fandom is its people, when they're being their best, and I do appreciate every person who *has* commented on my fic, it's always lovely for makers to know that the thing they made has made someone else happy. Thank you, for the quietly angelic act of reaching out, which is always, always appreciated <3
One of the things I missed most about fandom was interacting with people - getting to virtually hug people and sob about how amazing these characters are is like, the best bit of fandom. But around me right now I've got crickets. And I really really really love these characters and want to do the happy-sobbing in company. And I'm considering my options a bit, though I feel a bit anxious in them.
I suspect that Livejournal and Dreamwidth are a bit dead, and I don't know if that's true or if just no-one likes my writing and thus doesn't come by here so I *think* it's dead (legit; no-one's obliged to come by here or like anything I post, and it won't stop me writing, I've had no more than half a dozen readers in years, it's a mutual no foul). I've been away for so long I genuinely don't know where you go on these sites to find other people anymore, oops. But maybe there are communities on here? I don't know. I have pretty epic anxiety about going out into fandom spaces, as people who've known me for a while probably already know. The kind of anxiety that makes me physically ill. Which brings me onto the second option apart from just finding some damn people where I already am:
Tumblr! I don't think it's for me. For one thing I would have to have a fandom blog as a *secondary* tumblr (I do have one, for - well, art and craft objects, which is my day job; it's only for personal reference and I don't interact with anyone), which is pretty awkward for a fanfic blog. Also I sometimes post porn, which is a problem on tumblr. Also I really, really, really don't like fandom tumblr, I don't like tumblr culture in general, I'm sure it's fun if you don't have crippling anxiety but the way some people talk and treat each other on there - nope. Big massive nope. Anxiety goes straight to my stomach and I puke for a week without sleeping, I don't think it's for me. Third option:
Ao3 is so big it also raises the anxiety to pretty awful levels, as though it would give me access to a lot of people, it's too many people ^^; Also I'm aware that if I ever posted anything on there I'd likely get a deluge of anonymi asking me to put all my old stuff up on there and lol I have ME I'm in pain typing this I'm in pain every fucking moment of the day and I sleep like Crowley, I can barely manage what I'm doing here and now, do not ask me to do what is to me ancient admin; that fic is where it is and staying where it is. Ao3 is just too big, it's too intimidating a space. So my option four is:
Guys, where else is there? What are the medium level fanspaces nowadays? Where can you hang out and it's chill and you get to purr over how much you love the characters you love with people but *everyone in the universe* isn't already there?
I'm an old lady and ill and very, very tired, and the internet is just baffling to me nowadays. I miss fandom but I don't know if I'm cut out for it anymore when I see some of the ways it shapes itself now. I feel old. And tired. I feel like all the angels and demons are excited for the apocalypse starting and I just want the world to carry on as it is so I can go to bed with my book at the end of the day. Not entirely helpful metaphor. But if anyone can answer any of the vague questions above, do let me know? The best part of fandom is its people, when they're being their best, and I do appreciate every person who *has* commented on my fic, it's always lovely for makers to know that the thing they made has made someone else happy. Thank you, for the quietly angelic act of reaching out, which is always, always appreciated <3