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Oh, and did I mention I can become a love guru one day?
Okay, so I quite suck at advice, but here's ten rules that I came up with (for my story), and just for fun:
*******
The Rules
Rule #1: After a break-up, find yourself a new guy.
It doesn’t have to be a new boyfriend, he just has to be perfectly male.
Guys are better sources of comfort than girls are. Girls would just sob along with you, curse the jerk who’s dumped you, but they’ll end up crying about their own love lives, whining about their own misfortunes so that you have to comfort them instead - and, if they happen to be envious of you, they’ll be secretly happy, and gloat about your misfortunes to other girls.
Guys, on the other hand - although they can’t really empathise with you and will probably side with their own gender - can actually lend better shoulders to cry on and are better listening ears, mainly because they can never outtalk you, or produce more tears than you do.
Really, admit it, all you need is a shoulder to cry on.
Guy’s shoulders are way more comfortable.
Rule #2: When your best friend thinks he’s The One, he probably is.
This rule goes either way.
When you best friend thinks he’s The One for her, as long as the guy doesn’t belong to you, it’s perfectly fine. Encourage them to date, manslaughter the guy if he hurts your friend, and be there at their wedding.
When your best friend thinks he’s The One for you, then, well, she’s probably right. Best friends, especially those who know you well, are highly likely to have the more spot-on intuition on the right guys for you. You should just listen to your best friend, and trust her intuition. Because, honestly, you’ll be the one blinded by love, and not her.
Rule #3: Guys can do almost anything for girls.
You got that right. Guys are willing to go to extensive lengths for the sake of keeping their girls by them. They’re willing to tell utterly black lies, sell their most precious jersey, delete off every other girls’ hand phone numbers and do just about anything, so long as they can get The Girl in the end.
Lucky you if you’re that particular One.
If not, here’s hoping you’d be someone’s One soon.
Rule #4: Don’t think. Feel.
That’s what love is about. It’s not your head that’s keeping the love going. You can be the dumbest person on earth, but you can still find true love.
Love is about the feel. Does it feel right? Does he feel right? Do you feel right? In fact, every relationship is based on the feeling you have towards that person.
You can’t control a relationship with your head. People who buy books about love are often self-delusional. They think they can control the way the behave, they think they can control their life.
More often than not, half the things you do are based on the way you feel. If you’re angry, you’re violent. If you’re sad, you cry.
It’s as simple as that.
Rule #5: One kiss can be irreversible.
Darn right it is.
You can’t change what’s already happened. You can wish you didn’t do it, you can pretend it never happened. But the truth is, it has already happened.
To be honest, pretending it never happened really gets you nowhere. You’d feel way too awkward to face the guy, especially if you liked the kiss, because it’s highly likely he’d be having horny thoughts about you, as you are about him.
I’m not saying talking it out will make things better. The both of you will be blaming each other on who started it, and a perfectly normal kiss will blow up to a full-blown sex story. It’ll just worsen your relationship, and the both of you will be in high danger of losing someone who’s right for you.
If you ask me, I’d say, if you enjoyed it, bloody well do it again.
Rule #6: Forgive, but you’d be stupid to forget.
Whatever they say about ‘Forgive and Forget’ is total and utter bullshit.
You see, you can forgive someone. It’s easy to get over whatever wrong someone has done to you, let bygones be bygones and so on and so forth,
But you’d be really stupid if you forget what wrongs they did to you - especially when you’re dealing with guys.
Let’s face it, guys tend to let things go more easily than girls. They are less picky and less petty. But they’re also more insensitive, and they forget the simplest things easily. Why else would you see marriages ending in divorces because of stupid reasons, like the guy always forgets to put down the toilet seat?
Don’t forget - remember all the experiences, because they make you a better and wiser person - but don’t harp on it or bear grudges.
It’ll just make you grow old faster.
Rule #7: It’s the Chase that matters.
You know how sometimes, at family gatherings, the older people will ask the newly-wed couple “How did you two meet?”
Really, the Chase is all that matters.
Older adults totally buy that “Love at first sight” gig. Really, they actually believe that such a thing exists.
The younger generations, on the other hand, want to know more about the Process. The Process isn’t just any simple progression that two people make. It isn’t just about meeting, going out on a date, getting engage and then married.
No. It’s all about getting the girl, or the guy, depending on who’s the cat and who’s the mouse. It’s about how much effort one party puts in, how much the other party shuns it, and how long it takes for them to end up together.
The juicier, the better.
Rule #8: Thinking only makes the heart grow fonder.
The saying goes: Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Well, that’s true, but thinking makes one’s heart grow even fonder.
Say, you’re crushing on this guy. He can be absent or present, he can be faraway in some country miles away, or living just next door to you. Seeing him or not seeing him doesn’t make a difference - you’ll still think about him.
The thing is, the more you think about him, the more you fall in love with him. And this makes it all the worse - especially if he isn’t attainable - because you’re falling in love with him in your thoughts, and not in reality. Your love life will then become a fantasy.
Rule #9: Love is seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
No one is perfect. You’d be a hypocrite if you say you are.
If you can really love someone, love someone despite their faults, despite their bad hair-dos and bad days, despite their self-centeredness and insensitivity, despite their disabilities and in-capabilities, you’re already halfway there to your ever ever after.
And when you finally get there, remember to thank me.
Rule #10: If you believe ‘True Love’ exists, believe ‘Ever Ever After’ does too.
After all, what’s a good love story without a happy ending?
Okay, so I quite suck at advice, but here's ten rules that I came up with (for my story), and just for fun:
*******
The Rules
Rule #1: After a break-up, find yourself a new guy.
It doesn’t have to be a new boyfriend, he just has to be perfectly male.
Guys are better sources of comfort than girls are. Girls would just sob along with you, curse the jerk who’s dumped you, but they’ll end up crying about their own love lives, whining about their own misfortunes so that you have to comfort them instead - and, if they happen to be envious of you, they’ll be secretly happy, and gloat about your misfortunes to other girls.
Guys, on the other hand - although they can’t really empathise with you and will probably side with their own gender - can actually lend better shoulders to cry on and are better listening ears, mainly because they can never outtalk you, or produce more tears than you do.
Really, admit it, all you need is a shoulder to cry on.
Guy’s shoulders are way more comfortable.
Rule #2: When your best friend thinks he’s The One, he probably is.
This rule goes either way.
When you best friend thinks he’s The One for her, as long as the guy doesn’t belong to you, it’s perfectly fine. Encourage them to date, manslaughter the guy if he hurts your friend, and be there at their wedding.
When your best friend thinks he’s The One for you, then, well, she’s probably right. Best friends, especially those who know you well, are highly likely to have the more spot-on intuition on the right guys for you. You should just listen to your best friend, and trust her intuition. Because, honestly, you’ll be the one blinded by love, and not her.
Rule #3: Guys can do almost anything for girls.
You got that right. Guys are willing to go to extensive lengths for the sake of keeping their girls by them. They’re willing to tell utterly black lies, sell their most precious jersey, delete off every other girls’ hand phone numbers and do just about anything, so long as they can get The Girl in the end.
Lucky you if you’re that particular One.
If not, here’s hoping you’d be someone’s One soon.
Rule #4: Don’t think. Feel.
That’s what love is about. It’s not your head that’s keeping the love going. You can be the dumbest person on earth, but you can still find true love.
Love is about the feel. Does it feel right? Does he feel right? Do you feel right? In fact, every relationship is based on the feeling you have towards that person.
You can’t control a relationship with your head. People who buy books about love are often self-delusional. They think they can control the way the behave, they think they can control their life.
More often than not, half the things you do are based on the way you feel. If you’re angry, you’re violent. If you’re sad, you cry.
It’s as simple as that.
Rule #5: One kiss can be irreversible.
Darn right it is.
You can’t change what’s already happened. You can wish you didn’t do it, you can pretend it never happened. But the truth is, it has already happened.
To be honest, pretending it never happened really gets you nowhere. You’d feel way too awkward to face the guy, especially if you liked the kiss, because it’s highly likely he’d be having horny thoughts about you, as you are about him.
I’m not saying talking it out will make things better. The both of you will be blaming each other on who started it, and a perfectly normal kiss will blow up to a full-blown sex story. It’ll just worsen your relationship, and the both of you will be in high danger of losing someone who’s right for you.
If you ask me, I’d say, if you enjoyed it, bloody well do it again.
Rule #6: Forgive, but you’d be stupid to forget.
Whatever they say about ‘Forgive and Forget’ is total and utter bullshit.
You see, you can forgive someone. It’s easy to get over whatever wrong someone has done to you, let bygones be bygones and so on and so forth,
But you’d be really stupid if you forget what wrongs they did to you - especially when you’re dealing with guys.
Let’s face it, guys tend to let things go more easily than girls. They are less picky and less petty. But they’re also more insensitive, and they forget the simplest things easily. Why else would you see marriages ending in divorces because of stupid reasons, like the guy always forgets to put down the toilet seat?
Don’t forget - remember all the experiences, because they make you a better and wiser person - but don’t harp on it or bear grudges.
It’ll just make you grow old faster.
Rule #7: It’s the Chase that matters.
You know how sometimes, at family gatherings, the older people will ask the newly-wed couple “How did you two meet?”
Really, the Chase is all that matters.
Older adults totally buy that “Love at first sight” gig. Really, they actually believe that such a thing exists.
The younger generations, on the other hand, want to know more about the Process. The Process isn’t just any simple progression that two people make. It isn’t just about meeting, going out on a date, getting engage and then married.
No. It’s all about getting the girl, or the guy, depending on who’s the cat and who’s the mouse. It’s about how much effort one party puts in, how much the other party shuns it, and how long it takes for them to end up together.
The juicier, the better.
Rule #8: Thinking only makes the heart grow fonder.
The saying goes: Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Well, that’s true, but thinking makes one’s heart grow even fonder.
Say, you’re crushing on this guy. He can be absent or present, he can be faraway in some country miles away, or living just next door to you. Seeing him or not seeing him doesn’t make a difference - you’ll still think about him.
The thing is, the more you think about him, the more you fall in love with him. And this makes it all the worse - especially if he isn’t attainable - because you’re falling in love with him in your thoughts, and not in reality. Your love life will then become a fantasy.
Rule #9: Love is seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
No one is perfect. You’d be a hypocrite if you say you are.
If you can really love someone, love someone despite their faults, despite their bad hair-dos and bad days, despite their self-centeredness and insensitivity, despite their disabilities and in-capabilities, you’re already halfway there to your ever ever after.
And when you finally get there, remember to thank me.
Rule #10: If you believe ‘True Love’ exists, believe ‘Ever Ever After’ does too.
After all, what’s a good love story without a happy ending?