Social anxiety and awkwardness
I've been feeling particularly awkward today on many levels. I keep getting caught up in my head and stumbling over myself. Sometimes I just stop myself from doing anything, and when I have pushed through, I've not done very well because I get so caught up in my worries about being awkward.
The first (and second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth) point(s) of awkwardness today came from sales calls. Yes, that's right, Express has me making sales calls now. Basically what I'm doing is looking at the (pitiful) Classified ads of the Maryville Daily Times, picking out ads that we have any potential of staffing, and cold calling the number in the paper to ask if they might need any help with staffing. I spend about 30 minutes today staring at the ads I had highlighted wracked with fear. My first one failed horribly. My second wasn't so bad. One of them went really well, though without an order. Everyone was extremely proud of me, and Kristina sent me an incredibly sweet note. They were all cheering and everything. I'm really happy to be helping out, but I hate that I have to make outgoing phone calls and sales at the same time. Anyone who has been in retail or sales have any tips? I suck at this.
I also suck at approaching people to make friends. I went out with Lambda after the meeting last night and it was a LOT of fun! That's great news. I actually felt like I was with people who could actually be friends! So exciting! And there's one guy who I've been talking with a little more and we're starting to be friends, with is awesome! But where my anxiety comes up is when I want to talk to other people on days that aren't Monday. I've noticed a couple of people from Lambda on Facebook chat, and I'd like to talk to them, but I have NO IDEA how to start a conversation like that. I keep putting myself in the mindset that everyone but me feels like they don't need anymore friends. I keep thinking going "hey, i enjoyed hanging out monday, wanna chat?" is creepy. Is it creepy? I hate getting so wrapped up in this kind of anxiety. I know it's almost entirely irrational, that the worst that could happen isn't really that bad, and that I really shouldn't care what people I barely know think about me.
But I'm so lonely here. Even those people I consider my best friends (who are out of town) barely speak to me (though some have been a lot better than others, and I know I'm not holding up my own part of this deal and I'm partly to blame). I hate being such a whiner, but I feel so isolated and I really need to start making friends.
So how can I start talking to people outside of Monday night Lambda meetings without being totally awkward and without sparking my own anxiety? I don't remember how I've made all of my other friends.
One thing I've noticed that I'm really happy about - I've been asking a lot of "How" questions rather than "Why" questions. When I was in middle and high school, I asked a lot of "Why" questions like "Why me?" or "Why aren't I happy?" and those didn't do me any good with getting through things. Now I'm asking "How" questions that can help me move forward in life. Yay!
The first (and second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth) point(s) of awkwardness today came from sales calls. Yes, that's right, Express has me making sales calls now. Basically what I'm doing is looking at the (pitiful) Classified ads of the Maryville Daily Times, picking out ads that we have any potential of staffing, and cold calling the number in the paper to ask if they might need any help with staffing. I spend about 30 minutes today staring at the ads I had highlighted wracked with fear. My first one failed horribly. My second wasn't so bad. One of them went really well, though without an order. Everyone was extremely proud of me, and Kristina sent me an incredibly sweet note. They were all cheering and everything. I'm really happy to be helping out, but I hate that I have to make outgoing phone calls and sales at the same time. Anyone who has been in retail or sales have any tips? I suck at this.
I also suck at approaching people to make friends. I went out with Lambda after the meeting last night and it was a LOT of fun! That's great news. I actually felt like I was with people who could actually be friends! So exciting! And there's one guy who I've been talking with a little more and we're starting to be friends, with is awesome! But where my anxiety comes up is when I want to talk to other people on days that aren't Monday. I've noticed a couple of people from Lambda on Facebook chat, and I'd like to talk to them, but I have NO IDEA how to start a conversation like that. I keep putting myself in the mindset that everyone but me feels like they don't need anymore friends. I keep thinking going "hey, i enjoyed hanging out monday, wanna chat?" is creepy. Is it creepy? I hate getting so wrapped up in this kind of anxiety. I know it's almost entirely irrational, that the worst that could happen isn't really that bad, and that I really shouldn't care what people I barely know think about me.
But I'm so lonely here. Even those people I consider my best friends (who are out of town) barely speak to me (though some have been a lot better than others, and I know I'm not holding up my own part of this deal and I'm partly to blame). I hate being such a whiner, but I feel so isolated and I really need to start making friends.
So how can I start talking to people outside of Monday night Lambda meetings without being totally awkward and without sparking my own anxiety? I don't remember how I've made all of my other friends.
One thing I've noticed that I'm really happy about - I've been asking a lot of "How" questions rather than "Why" questions. When I was in middle and high school, I asked a lot of "Why" questions like "Why me?" or "Why aren't I happy?" and those didn't do me any good with getting through things. Now I'm asking "How" questions that can help me move forward in life. Yay!