These past few days.
My father has come down on me hard, for things around here are going to get tight... =/
My Father got laid off again from his recently acquired Surveying job.
some more bullshit got thrown on him, a guy came back they took him and fired my dad.
I took the yelling like any of his fights.
On how I need to grow up and realize that all I do is "Care about myself".
Bah this is going to be long....
anyways....
How can I care about someone that for most of my life has Screamed at me to make me perfect?
Don't,
Get me Wrong... Hes a GOOD Dad, Just fucking Rediculous is all.
When,
I become a father to a Boy or girl I wouldn't dare treat them this way.
I,
Realized when my mother passed away that she was the only person I liked in my Family.
It may sound Harsh...
It comes down to this,
Am I the wrong one in this situation? or should I really go my own way and do what I have to do? am I being careless? am I being Self Centered? has all my Niceness that Ive put to everyone else, to make them happy not returning to me? Whats wrong with me as me?
Back to the past few days though.
Saturday - My dad left on a trip with his Girlfriend, her 30 Year old son and his 2 young daughters (that he cant take care of worth a shit, my dads GF takes care of them mostly.)(FYI I do feel sorry for the girls). my dad a few days after this he asked me if I wanted to go to Orlando with them, they were going to Universal for free because his GF had "Connections through Family". well on Friday he told me that she couldn't get us all tickets so we weren't going to go to Universal but just go to orlando (I'm seeing this as a Slight Ploy to get me to have a "family time" thing instead of going to U.V.S.)("No thanks"). I responded that I didn't want to go then if they weren't going to go to U.V.S., he didn't make any type of fit about it and let it go. He got back on Sunday and on Monday I awoke to him starting a shit fit with me. "all you do is think about yourself Ryan" he told me. "you didn't want to put up with annoying kids and didn't have anything to do so you weren't interested".
I would of went if he would of asked me that he wanted me to go.
Btw... He came up to me and told me a few days back that he wants to marry this woman already. I didn't -really- have a problem with it because shes a very nice lady. I did realize that I would have a problem with the kids and the idiotic son. x_x
Ive been a lone child for most of my life with my dad harping on my back and to see my dad act in anyway nice to these little girls just makes me Cringe... They get something that I dont. (but in turn they arent getting a good father experiece from a Divorced family and complete Failure of a father, so SCRATCH that) for some reason its a Difference Feeling compared to him acting nice to his Boy Scouts in his troop... Its probably the situation ontop of it.
Selfish, Yes? =/
I cant help that these things are happening WAY TO FAST.
So he tore me a New one. thats it.
I could keep going back in time with this I really could but, I'm having a Music Picking malfunction tonight x_x....
but the reason I really got to this post was because of my Friends that I hung out with tonight. they just really get to me, they never listen to me or they get confused about what I say. Ive been caught in a couple instances where I'm talking and I check if anyone's listening to me and no one at all paying attention to me. I brush it off as usual and take it again and again but tonight was when I had enough with Greg. after 9 years its just come to him being SO Freak'in annoying to me >__=D)
Other than all that bad shit, Im fine.
I start Tomorrow at gamestop. <<< Happy
School is going (short term stop because I have no gas money)
and for the people who actually read this,
Thanks again and sorry for teh Bitchin!
My Father got laid off again from his recently acquired Surveying job.
some more bullshit got thrown on him, a guy came back they took him and fired my dad.
I took the yelling like any of his fights.
On how I need to grow up and realize that all I do is "Care about myself".
Bah this is going to be long....
anyways....
How can I care about someone that for most of my life has Screamed at me to make me perfect?
Don't,
Get me Wrong... Hes a GOOD Dad, Just fucking Rediculous is all.
When,
I become a father to a Boy or girl I wouldn't dare treat them this way.
I,
Realized when my mother passed away that she was the only person I liked in my Family.
It may sound Harsh...
It comes down to this,
Am I the wrong one in this situation? or should I really go my own way and do what I have to do? am I being careless? am I being Self Centered? has all my Niceness that Ive put to everyone else, to make them happy not returning to me? Whats wrong with me as me?
Back to the past few days though.
Saturday - My dad left on a trip with his Girlfriend, her 30 Year old son and his 2 young daughters (that he cant take care of worth a shit, my dads GF takes care of them mostly.)(FYI I do feel sorry for the girls). my dad a few days after this he asked me if I wanted to go to Orlando with them, they were going to Universal for free because his GF had "Connections through Family". well on Friday he told me that she couldn't get us all tickets so we weren't going to go to Universal but just go to orlando (I'm seeing this as a Slight Ploy to get me to have a "family time" thing instead of going to U.V.S.)("No thanks"). I responded that I didn't want to go then if they weren't going to go to U.V.S., he didn't make any type of fit about it and let it go. He got back on Sunday and on Monday I awoke to him starting a shit fit with me. "all you do is think about yourself Ryan" he told me. "you didn't want to put up with annoying kids and didn't have anything to do so you weren't interested".
I would of went if he would of asked me that he wanted me to go.
Btw... He came up to me and told me a few days back that he wants to marry this woman already. I didn't -really- have a problem with it because shes a very nice lady. I did realize that I would have a problem with the kids and the idiotic son. x_x
Ive been a lone child for most of my life with my dad harping on my back and to see my dad act in anyway nice to these little girls just makes me Cringe... They get something that I dont. (but in turn they arent getting a good father experiece from a Divorced family and complete Failure of a father, so SCRATCH that) for some reason its a Difference Feeling compared to him acting nice to his Boy Scouts in his troop... Its probably the situation ontop of it.
Selfish, Yes? =/
I cant help that these things are happening WAY TO FAST.
So he tore me a New one. thats it.
I could keep going back in time with this I really could but, I'm having a Music Picking malfunction tonight x_x....
but the reason I really got to this post was because of my Friends that I hung out with tonight. they just really get to me, they never listen to me or they get confused about what I say. Ive been caught in a couple instances where I'm talking and I check if anyone's listening to me and no one at all paying attention to me. I brush it off as usual and take it again and again but tonight was when I had enough with Greg. after 9 years its just come to him being SO Freak'in annoying to me >__=D)
Other than all that bad shit, Im fine.
I start Tomorrow at gamestop. <<< Happy
School is going (short term stop because I have no gas money)
and for the people who actually read this,
Thanks again and sorry for teh Bitchin!