masturbation anxiety
My body has been flipping out recently. Or maybe my mind has- I am not really sure. I am depressed to the point where it hurts to move, to get out of bed- where all I want to do is lay in a stupor and not think- my brain wont shurt up and let it be though. And the world is spinning by too quickly and will not stop. Are these the times when I get dangerous? I can not remember- I do not feel violent... just so very helpless. Why can't everything just STOP for two seconds and sort itself out... I don't have time to think- or act, so I do NOTHING which is completely backwards and not useful and yet I can not convince myself to just start slowly moving in the flow...
And lately- every time I masturbate I have these incredibly powerful orgasms... like earth shattering cry for 5 minutes afterwards- body shaking, convulsing orgasms... which is really nice, but starting to freak me out... and i wonder why these orgasms dont come for the boys anymore... and if they did if any of the boys w0ould be able to handle it.
I am so scared right now and frozen. I wish the rest of the world would freeze so i could unstick myself.
And lately- every time I masturbate I have these incredibly powerful orgasms... like earth shattering cry for 5 minutes afterwards- body shaking, convulsing orgasms... which is really nice, but starting to freak me out... and i wonder why these orgasms dont come for the boys anymore... and if they did if any of the boys w0ould be able to handle it.
I am so scared right now and frozen. I wish the rest of the world would freeze so i could unstick myself.