Howdy- help me...
Okay- I never ask for anyone who reads this to post... in fact I kind of like writing it thinking that no one reads it, ever... and being happily suprised when someone posts... Well- I am breaking my little comfort zone and actually asking for advice... here is the thing...
There is this boy. He is dready- he is soooo freakin hot... i mean, can not be beat in hotness. He has gorgeous eyes. He has little crinkles around the corners of his eyes. He has a completely impish grin. He has a gentle touch and gives great hugs. He is a fire spinner that understands the communication behind fire spinning, as well as performance- he is like a little hippie, kinda... when i met him we spun fire together and it was awesome, and he mentioned that he would like to do it again, and one thing he made very clear that first night was that he was not hitting on me, and that he does not date other fire spinners. I was sorta fine with that. But the problem is, the more i spin with him, the more i want to sleep with him- and the worse our spinning gets because i am suddenly self-concious of inflicting my desire to sleep with him on him... i mean- he is being professional so i should be professional too, but the problem is that i do not know how to be professional about fire- it unleashes the primal in me... it is just like sex in honesty- better than sex really... you know if i want to play with you, if i want to fuck you, whatever, as soon as you spin fire with me. Now- i dont want to date him. That would be just absurd. But I am thinking that not sleeping with him is hurting my side of fire spinning with him just as much, if not more, than sleeping with him would hurt his side. So do i keep spinning with him, knowing that i will keep pressing the issue and getting crushed everytime he does not want to fuck me? Or do I take my sanity and run, letting a great fire spinning partner slip through my fingertips? I mean, there are other good spinners out there too... Or do I just try to squelch this and hope i can kill off my desire for him? Or do I make it known to him and try to reach an understanding between us? Or do i manipulate him into sleeping with me? (I am pretty sure he is attracted to me... i mean... yes... i can safely say that he is attracted to me, but on what level and to what degree i do not know. I am thinking it would probably be best if i just stopped spinning there, even though those jams are my favorite of the four i go to. Argh. So-
Advice please?
If i left anything vague, lemme know and i'll clear it up. Thanks.
There is this boy. He is dready- he is soooo freakin hot... i mean, can not be beat in hotness. He has gorgeous eyes. He has little crinkles around the corners of his eyes. He has a completely impish grin. He has a gentle touch and gives great hugs. He is a fire spinner that understands the communication behind fire spinning, as well as performance- he is like a little hippie, kinda... when i met him we spun fire together and it was awesome, and he mentioned that he would like to do it again, and one thing he made very clear that first night was that he was not hitting on me, and that he does not date other fire spinners. I was sorta fine with that. But the problem is, the more i spin with him, the more i want to sleep with him- and the worse our spinning gets because i am suddenly self-concious of inflicting my desire to sleep with him on him... i mean- he is being professional so i should be professional too, but the problem is that i do not know how to be professional about fire- it unleashes the primal in me... it is just like sex in honesty- better than sex really... you know if i want to play with you, if i want to fuck you, whatever, as soon as you spin fire with me. Now- i dont want to date him. That would be just absurd. But I am thinking that not sleeping with him is hurting my side of fire spinning with him just as much, if not more, than sleeping with him would hurt his side. So do i keep spinning with him, knowing that i will keep pressing the issue and getting crushed everytime he does not want to fuck me? Or do I take my sanity and run, letting a great fire spinning partner slip through my fingertips? I mean, there are other good spinners out there too... Or do I just try to squelch this and hope i can kill off my desire for him? Or do I make it known to him and try to reach an understanding between us? Or do i manipulate him into sleeping with me? (I am pretty sure he is attracted to me... i mean... yes... i can safely say that he is attracted to me, but on what level and to what degree i do not know. I am thinking it would probably be best if i just stopped spinning there, even though those jams are my favorite of the four i go to. Argh. So-
Advice please?
If i left anything vague, lemme know and i'll clear it up. Thanks.