Mission to Maturity (Oneshot)
Title: Mission to Maturity (7,700+ words)
Author: rainie_night
Pairings: HenWook (Henry/Ryeowook), QMi (Kyuhyun/Zhou Mi), friendship!ZhouRy (Zhou Mi/Henry), friendship!KyuWook (Kyuhyun/Ryeowook) and other implied/ninja pairings
Rating: PG-13
Genre(s): fluff, friendship, romance, humor, crack, a tiny bit of angst
Warning(s): college verse!AU, sexual innuendos, crack
Summary: Henry is on a mission to prove to his beloved Ryeowook that he’s more mature than he looks. What could possibly go wrong? Well, when your mentor is Zhou Mi… a lot of things.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything except this unoriginal plot! *sniffle*
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“So for our song, besides your violin solo, I was thinking we could maybe add in a cool English rap because it seems like all the big songwriters are doing it. Since you’re actually fluent in English, I think you should write it,” suggested a tall Chinese man with a smile that almost seemed to radiate sunshine.
However, he was left unanswered, left to stare at his spaced out dongsaeng. They were currently in their university’s music composition class, working on a project.
He sighed. “Henry? Henry? Henry, are you even listening to me?”
The young Chinese-Canadian snapped out of his thoughts and gave the elder a sheepish smile. Clearing his throat, he nodded and said, “Umm, you said something about Louis Vuitton’s new spring line and just how much you’re dying to get your hands on even just one piece of the collection, right Mi-ge?”
Zhou Mi’s eyes narrowed, rolling them not long after. “Nice try, Henry; sadly that’s not going to work. I know everyone keeps saying I’m obsessed with that, but I consider plenty of things more important, like this project worth fifteen percent of our final grade!”
“Seeing as how that’s the only thing I’ve been saying for the past week whenever you’d ask me if I was paying attention, I highly doubt that,” Henry muttered to himself sarcastically as he rolled his eyes as well.
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
He sighed, running his hand through his hair before putting a comforting hand on the younger’s shoulder. Giving a small smile quite different from the wide one Zhou Mi presented to most, he said, “Don’t think I’ve noticed there’s something wrong. What’s the problem? You now, as your gege, you can tell me, right? Besides, we’re all the way at the back, so you don’t have to worry about anyone hearing.”
Henry sighed and banged his head into his desk in frustration, which resulted in him whining in pain. He pouted as he witnessed the elder succumbing to fits of laughter not long after, causing the other’s pout to deepen and his cheeks to puff out.
As soon as Zhou Mi finished, though soft giggles still lingered from time to time, he gave the other a smile before gently massaging the area of impact. Despite being slightly upset at his gege for laughing at him, Henry couldn’t help but smile a bit at his brotherly action. He decided to tell him his secret. He trusted him enough even though the two had only known each other for a month.
The violinist took a deep breath before whining, “I’m going to end up an old and lonely virgin! No one’s going to love me romantically, EVER!”
“Oh, don’t be silly, Henry! That’s all you were worried about?” chirped Zhou Mi with a smile (sometimes he wondered if the other ever stopped), patting him on the back reassuringly. Henry couldn’t help but have his mood brighten a bit from the reassurance. “You won’t be alone! I’m sure there’ll be others in that state to accompany you, like Kui Xian and probably that friend of yours named Jinki. So, there’s no need to fear!”
His improving mood quickly left just as fast as in entered. He groaned at the other’s cluelessness. Henry should have known better than to come to Zhou Mi for advice. His gege had good intentions, but the other was just too… Zhou Mi. Han Geng would probably have been a better option.
Despite everything, Henry couldn’t help but retaliate and get some revenge, though Zhou Mi probably still hadn’t realized what he had just told Henry. “Oh, you shouldn’t be so silly either, Gege! There’s no way that Kyuhyun-hyung would be an old virgin, not after you’re done with him!”
The older Chinese man turned to a violent shade of red almost instantly after the words left the younger’s mouth. Shaking his head, Zhou Mi tried to inconspicuously change the subject. “So umm, who gave you the idea you were going to end up an old and lonely virgin, anyway?”
Henry wasn’t evil enough to press on in his attempt to embarrass his hyung, so he sighed and confessed, “It was Ryeowook-hyung.”
Zhou Mi raised his eyebrow at what the other had admitted, trying to confirm, “Really? Li Xu? Hmm…. who would have thought he’d be the one out of the fourteen of us who’d have the guts to finally break it to you.”
“Hyung!” Henry, whined indignantly.
The lyricist giggled at the younger’s reaction, took a glance at the front of the class where Ryeowook was working on his project with Kyuhyun, who happened to be his partner. He had never admitted it, but he had always been jealous of the close relationship the two held.
The elder whispered, “Relax, I was just kidding. You know for a fact that you’re the most irresistibly adorable one out of all of us. Still, I can’t believe Li Xu would be the one to bully by saying that!”
Zhou Mi had just transferred to Seoul University from his school in China for the foreign exchange program only a month ago. Thanks to an almost instant friendship with Han Geng and the baby of the group, Henry, he was lucky enough to be invited into what was considered the campus’s most exclusive dorm building, living with Han Geng, Henry, and twelve other rather good-looking men.
Now, he was friends with everyone in the building, but he was only particularly close with Han Geng, Henry, Heechul, Siwon, and his roommate Kyuhyun. Despite all that, he couldn’t believe that Henry’s roommate of all people would bully the youngest. From what he had seen, he practically took care of the hamster boy like a mother would her son.
“Me being adorable is exactly the problem,” complained Henry, burying his face in his arms in exasperation. “Ryeowook-hyung doesn’t see me as anything more than his adorable roommate that needs to be taken care of. I don’t think he finds me mature in anyway, so he doesn’t take me seriously, like I’m just a child, even when he’s only one year older than me! The truth is…. I really like him, Gege, maybe even love him. All I know is I feel something different around him than I feel when I’m with you, even when I was with a girl I liked.”
The younger stared at the other, expecting him to either bust out in laughter or scold him for being to young to be in love. He was expecting anything, except exactly what Zhou Mi did next.
His gege let out a girlish squeal before enveloping the baby of the group into a big bear hug and cooed, “Omo, Mochi’s fallen in love for the first time and with Li Xu! That’s just about the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. Don’t worry, Henry. I’ll help you make Li Xu see that you’re mature… or maybe just think you’re more mature. I can’t do the impossible after all.”
Henry pouted again but shook his head with a sigh before giving his gege a grateful hug. “Thank you so much.”
“No problem. Maybe after you’ve gotten laid a few times, you can actually focus enough to help me compose the song that’s fifteen percent of our final grade!” Zhou Mi reminded, earning him a whack on the head, courtesy of the hamster boy.
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“Alright, the first thing we have to do is observe people, and see the people who stand out with their overwhelming maturity,” informed Zhou Mi as they sat in the grassy area near the cafeteria. It was a popular place for students to unwind during their free time. The lunch rush hour had just ended, so there were quite a number of people. It was the perfect time to watch without being suspected of anything strange.
“Yes, I have to be exactly like him!” Henry cried out, pointing to the man sitting next to his beloved Ryeowook (of course, Kyuhyun just had to be there as well). He could just tell this person was bursting with maturity and charisma that was unrivaled by no other. “I need to be like him! Just look at his maturity!”
Zhou Mi looked at Henry’s direction in excitement, only to see just who he was pointing. He sighed and smacked Henry on the head.
“Right, because Yesung-hyung is definitely the epitome of maturity,” Zhou Mi muttered sarcastically. “You should definitely be exactly like him. Better yet, why don’t we impress Li Xu even further by taking lessons from Lee Jinki on how to be graceful. You could even learn to cook from Donghai. Who knows? Maybe you can learn how to make the stove explode like he did last week!”
“You have been spending way too much time with Heechul-hyung,” muttered Henry, rubbing the sore spot Zhou Mi had left on his head.
Before any reply could be made by the elder, the two Chinese males spotted their friend getting up to throw away a piece of paper he had been scribbling on, only to trip on his own two feet and land on the lap of a very disgruntled and flushed Kim Kibum. The other only laughed and proceeded to stroke his dongsaeng’s philtrum.
Zhou Mi gave Henry his usual sunny smile, though it seemed more smug and mocking than usual. “You’re just mad because I’m right.”
“Definitely too much time with Heechul-hyung….” Henry muttered with a sigh.
“Ooh, Henry, what about him?” suggested the tall Chinese man excitedly, pointing to Park Yoochun, a popular third year university student, who was currently smoking a cigarette. Girls couldn’t help but giggle and blush as the passed him, while men looked at him with admiring gazes. “To make it even more mature, you could smoke a pipe!”
“Well, I can’t exactly think of anything, and you’re right about Yoochun-ssi seeming pretty mature,” Henry considered with a cute, thoughtful on his face. Despite saying this, he still thought being like Yesung would be a much better idea. “Okay, let’s do it. I have a class in ten minutes, so why don’t you get it?”
“Alright, let’s get a move on,” ordered Zhou Mi as they left the grassy area. Henry was off to his dance class, while the elder exited campus to find a nice pipe.
Just as they were out of earshot, a high-pitched, dolphin-like voice was heard screeching throughout the grassy field. A cute man could be seen pulling the ear of the very popular, mature man. “YAH! PARK YOOCHUN, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO SMOKE! IT’LL RUIN YOUR VOICE!”
“I’m sorry, baby. Tablo-hyung brought them over, and I just couldn’t resist,” the other replied frantically, wincing at the hard ear pull.
“Well, then you can have those disgusting cigarettes keep you company tonight because I’m staying over at Hyukkie’s dorm tonight!” he screamed before trying to leave for his next class, not that Yoochun was making it easy for him.
Every student in the grassy area gaped in shock as one of the most well-know students on campus went to the ground to get a hold of the other’s leg and begged, “No Su, don’t sleep in his room tonight! I know he’s your best friend, but the guy’s a complete pervert. Who knows what he’ll do to you in your sleep with that crazy, English-impaired boyfriend of his!”
Mature indeed.
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“Are you sure this pipe is a good brand?” Henry questioned suspiciously, looking over what Zhou Mi had brought him. Both were sitting on the bench outside their dorm building entrance, where Ryeowook was bound to spot them. “ I mean, I don’t really know anything about pipes, but I was expecting something much different.”
“Oh, believe me, this is the most expensive one of its kind at the store,” reassured Zhou Mi before spotting Ryeowook making his way to the building with Kyuhyun at his side (‘Did they always have to be together?’ Zhou Mi wondered at the back of his mind.). He let out an excited squeal and hid in the bush behind the bench Henry was sitting in. “Oh crap, it’s Li Xu! I already prepared everything for the pipe so just blow into it, ‘kay? Don’t suck anything in or it’ll make you gag. Jiayou Henry! Make sure to tell me all the dirty details later, if you know what I mean.”
The younger one resisted the urge to throw a rock into the bush, hopefully hitting its very lanky target, because Ryeowook spotted him and waved. Henry couldn’t help but grin happily as Ryeowook approached him with that subtle, but beautiful smile. Kyuhyun looked at the two, rolling his eyes, and headed to the building, planning to spend some time with his roommate. “Hi Henli-yah, you’re not usually outside during this time. What’s that in your hand?”
“Oh right, it’s nothing really, just a pipe I got,” Henry said, attempting to sound calm, cool, and collected, when in reality his stomach lurched in nervousness.
The younger gave an uneasy smile. Doing it now would be a better time then ever, seeing as how anyone could pass by any second. He sighed and puffed into the odd-looking pipe. Henry didn’t suck anything in, just as Zhou Mi had suggested, and closed his eyes to smell the burning tobacco he had expected.
To his horror, instead of smoke, soap bubbles merrily emitted from the other side. Henry paled as he watched them sail upwards, one landing on Ryeowook’s nose, which made the shorter man giggle. Zhou Mi had just succeeded in making Henry seem like even more of a kid in the other’s eyes.
Ryeowook let out another small giggle, fondly pinched the younger’s cheek, and cooed, “Aww, I had no idea you still played with bubbles, Henli-yah! Next time I shop for my niece at the toy store, I’ll make sure to get something for you to play with. Anyway, I have to go, since I’ve got a whole lot of homework to do. Bye, see you in our room later!”
When Henry thought Ryeowook was out of seeing or hearing distance, he screamed, muffling the sound a bit with his hand. He heard a shuffling sound in the bushes and was reminded that Zhou Mi was still there, and it was all his fault. Henry had a feeling that the other was trying to escape his wrath. Over Zhou Mi’s dead body!
“Yah Mimi-ge, what the hell is this you got me?” Henry cried in frustrated Chinese. As Zhou Mi popped out of his hiding place with a sheepish smile because his escape plan was foiled, he aimed the so-called pipe at the other’s head, barely missing its desired target. “When I asked for a pipe, I wanted one that would use tobacco, not soapy water! Now, he thinks I’m even more immature, thanks to you!”
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Umm, I love you too much to see you throw your life away to tobacco?” squeaked the older one as he got out of the bush he was hiding in and sat next to the violin player on the bench, though making sure there was enough distance so Henry wouldn’t strangle him. He continued to smile sheepishly and scooted closer once he deemed that he’s cooled down a bit. He laughed nervously. “Okay, truthfully, I would never give you a real pipe. Geng-ge would kill me if I defile the innocence of the baby!”
With that said, Henry smirked before pouncing on Zhou Mi on the bench, which was actually quite long. He attempted to strange his gege as the other tried squirming away.
Both failed to notice the sound of the window in front of their bench close with Ryeowook and Kyuhyun behind it, thought neither could really understand their speedy Chinese.
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“Considering the fact because of you Ryeowook-hyung just gave me an entire bubble play set a few minutes ago, I can’t believe I’m letting you help me again,” muttered Henry as Zhou Mi happily flipped through the pay-per-view channels. “Anyway, what’s your new plan? It better be work, or I won’t let you help me anymore.”
“Well, I asked Heechul-hyung for advice without telling his it was you, but it’s Heechul-hyung after all, so he figured it all out,” said the Chinese man, still flipping to channels until it landed on a specific channel. “He told me that you should just rape Li Xu and get it over with, but I knew you wouldn’t do that. That’s when Eunhyuk-ah came into the room with his laptop, which gave me the idea to do this!”
Henry looked at the television screen sheepishly, cheeks turning a pinker by the second, as Zhou Mi went through the procedure of ordering the program. “But does Ryeowook-hyung really have to catch me watching porn, especially gay porn? Honestly, I don’t even want to watch it. Just the thought of it all gives me the chills.”
“Really? Because it seems pretty interesting to me! Plus, it’s like an instructional video on what you’re going to be doing once Li Xu thinks you’ve matured,” commented Zhou Mi, taking his eyes of the stereotypical foreplay storyline taking place during the beginning of the movie. However, once he spotted the terrified look in the younger’s eyes, he gave him a sympathetic smile. “Look, I really think that he will see you as more mature after this, but, since you’re feeling uncomfortable, I’ll set it on mute until he comes. You don’t even have to watch it.”
The other nodded with relief in his eyes before taking out his Blackberry to take his mind off what was playing on the screen.
Everything went well for him and the elder, who got bored of the screen in front and started searching through his man purse for something to entertain him, until the sound of Leeteuk, the dorm building’s unofficial umma, brightly announced, “Henli-yah, Mi-yah, I’m back early from the store. Where are you two?”
Zhou Mi and Henry looked at each other with panicked expressions on their faces. Leeteuk was the last person they wanted to catch them ‘watching’ gay porn, minus Han Geng (who would probably ground Henry until his chubby cheeks sagged from old age and would probably burn all of Zhou Mi’s Louis Vuitton bags, which apparently to him was much worse than dying).
The elder let out a fast string of obscenities in Chinese and pressed a button to take them back to the channel that Zhou Mi had been watching before he had called Henry over to show his plan. Henry grabbed the remote, making sure it was no longer muted.
Familiar sounds reached his ears from the television, causing him to give his gege a raised eyebrow, so he asked, “You were watching the Teletubbies marathon before you called me over?”
“I just couldn’t resist, okay?” the older Chinese man said with a pout, looking at the screen for a few moments before looking back at the other. “I just love that purple one for some reason. His fashion sense is just miles ahead of the other three.”
He was just about to point out exactly why his gege was so fond of the gay, man purse carrying teletubby, when he was suddenly interrupted by the voice of the building’s resident umma. “Ah, so that’s where you two were. Why didn’t you answer me when I was calling for you?”
Henry frantically searched his mind with a decent excuse when another familiar voice, the last one he wanted to hear at a time like this, cried, “Henli-yah, is that Teletubbies you’re watching?”
“Yeah, Henry just loves the red one,” Zhou Mi answered for him as he watched the purple teletubby bouncing around with his orange man purse. Henry could have sworn he was watching the thing with an admiring look in his eyes.
Henry swears he’s going to kill Zhou Mi (or better yet, tell Han Geng that Zhou Mi tried to get him to watch porn) if he ends up getting a red Teletubbies costume for his birthday from Ryeowook.
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“This is your last chance, got that Mi-ge?” reminded Henry as they walked out of the cafeteria and headed to their dorm building. “I will seriously ask for someone else’s help if it doesn’t work this time.”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s what you said last time,” muttered Zhou Mi while leading the younger to the bench in front of their dorm building. He gave Henry apologetic smile before having both of them sit. “Look, I know my plans haven’t been working out for you, but please understand that I really am trying my best. You’re like the younger brother I never had, and I can’t stand to see you disappointed again because of my bad planning. If this plan doesn’t work out, I’m going to have to suggest that you just confess to Li Xu.”
“If that’s really what you think, I trust your judgment, Gege,” Henry responded with a sigh at the thought of rejection from Ryeowook. “So, what’s your plan anyway?”
“Well, I think one of the reasons that Li Xu looks at you like a child is that he’s never seen you show any romantic feelings towards other people, and he’s too clueless to see what you feel for him,” explained the older man. “I think it would be good if you just go on a date with someone. Now, I know you’re going to be against it, but it doesn’t have to be an actual date. He just has to think it is. You could just hang out with one of your friends, and tell him it’s a date.”
“But today’s Saturday, and that’s the day most people go out with others for a date,” reasoned Henry. “Who am I going to ask? The only single people I’m close to are you, who Ryeowook-hyung will never believe I’m dating, Kyuhyun, who’s his best friend, and Jinki!”
“There, that’s perfect!” cried Zhou Mi excitedly, clapping his hands in happiness. “Just ask him to hang out with you. Besides, what else is he going to do on a Saturday night?”
Henry thought about it for a second before nodding his head in response. “You know that’s actually not a bad ide-”
The Chinese-Canadian was cut of when Lee Jinki himself came running over to him with look of pure glee on his features. He spotted Henry, went to him, and announced, “I am so happy right now, and since you’re one of my closest friends, I thought I’d tell you in person!”
The other blinked in confusion and nodded in order to tell Jinki to continue.
“You know that guy, the one that sits in front of us in World Literature?” questioned his friend, while Henry nodded to tell him that he did. Who didn’t know Key? He was considered one of the most popular and beautiful people on campus. Plus, his friend happened to be completely in love with him. “Well, Key asked me to go to the movies with him tonight, and I accepted! You have no idea how shocked I was when he asked me. I thought he always had a thing for Jjong, but appararen-”
“Wow, I’m so happy for you!” Zhou Mi cried in glee, just to stop Jinki from his rambling. “Congratulations! Key is a really great catch.”
Jinki smiled brightly before he took a look at his watch and gasped. “Oh no, I better go. I have to make sure everything is perfect for tonight. Taemin-ah promised that he’d help me. See you guys later, and thanks for the support.”
“I can’t believe Jinki-yah got a boyfriend before me!” Henry whined as he watched his friend trip over his own two feet while running to his own dorm building.
The elder nodded his head in agreement and added, “Maybe you were right about ending up an old and lonely virgin.”
A loud cry of pain was heard as Henry hit the other upside the head. “Shut up, Gege….”
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“Wow, you look… nice,” commented Ryeowook, watching as Henry buttoned up his shirt while exiting the bathroom connected to their room. “What’s the occasion? Have a date tonight?”
The younger of the two smiled and nodded happily. “Yeah, I do actually.”
Ryeowook gave Henry a shocked expression, obviously not expecting his answer. However, he quickly composed himself and asked, “Really now? Who’s the lucky girl that’s caught the eye of our group’s baby?”
“Girl?” the other asked with a raised eyebrow. He then offered him a small smile and shook his head, grabbing his wallet afterwards. “It’s actually not a girl. It’s a boy that I’m going out with tonight. Well, I better go before I’m late. Don’t wait up, okay? Goodnight Hyung!”
Henry left before the Korean could get another word in. He headed for the bench in front of the entrance of his building to find someone already waiting for him there. He approached the man while the other gave him a smile. “Wow, don’t you look handsome? It looks like you really went all out for this, Henry.”
The other sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. “Gege, thank you so much for letting me hang out with you. It would have been pathetic to spend my date alone. I know you usually spend your Saturday nights with Kyuhyun-hyung, annoying him while he plays StarCraft until he gives up and goes shopping with you.”
Zhou Mi rubbed Henry’s head affectionately, very much like someone would to their puppy, much to the latter’s annoyance. Henry had to remind himself that the other was trying to help him. Plus, the torture that he’d have to go through, courtesy of Kyuhyun and Heechul for killing him, was just not worth it.
“It’s not a big deal. Kui Xian couldn’t have done the usual with me tonight anyway. He needed to work on his project for composition class with Li Xu. I’ll give you three guesses as to what we’re going to do tonight, Henry.”
“I should have known you’d have some ulterior motive behind this,” muttered Henry with a groan. He was hoping to do something less productive but should have know better since it was Zhou Mi. The fact that Kyuhyun and Ryeowook would be spending more time together dampened his mood just a bit more. “Anyway, we better not be doing this at the library. We’re doing this at the all-you-can-eat sushi bar near the campus, and you are paying!”
Zhou Mi pouted and huffed, “You’re the one who technically asked me out, and Ihave to pay? Gosh Henry, you have got to be like the worst date I’ve ever had!”
“Judging from all the success your help has given me in wooing Ryeowook-hyung, I’m starting to wonder how many of these dates you’ve actually had,” Henry pointed out and dragged Zhou Mi to the school gates before the other could get a word in.
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“Wow, I don’t know how we did it, but we actually got the entire song finished in one night!” Zhou Mi cheered as they headed to their dorm building. After coming up with the lyrics and a basic melody at the sushi restaurant, they headed to the university’s library, which was usually open twenty-four hours a day. Unlike most schools, their university held some of the best musicians in the country, so there were a places on campus, like the library, where music majors could compose their music. “I guess our professor knew what she was doing when she paired us up.”
“Nah, Professor Chen is just a huge Mandopop fan girl,” explained Henry, his voice coming down to a whisper as they entered their dorm building. The two of them had stayed at the library for hours, and it was now three o’clock in the morning. “Most of the school knows this. You know how Siwon-hyung’s Mandarin is almost fluent, right? He told me that Professor Chen paired him and Geng-ge up last year just for that reason alone.”
“A Mandopop fan girl, huh?” Zhou Mi repeated with a happy smirk. “I knew there was a reason why I liked her so much.”
Henry groaned and playfully hit his gege on the shoulder as they climbed the stairs. “No, I refuse to let you approach her and fan boy about it. Hearing you and Geng-ge go on and on for hours about Jolin Tsai, Jay Chou, and whoever the hell you two talk about is enough, thank you.”
“Whatever you say Henry,” the elder replied in a teasing tone. “On another note, since our rooms are on the same floor, I’ll walk you to your room. It’s closer to the stairs anyway.”
Henry nodded, and they headed for his and Ryeowook’s room with a comfortable silence between them. He just couldn’t wait to pass out on his bed after hours working on a song that wasn’t even due for another month (Yes, his gege’s just crazy like that).
He practically ran to his room in excitement at the thought of sleeping until the late afternoon. However, the need for sleep disappeared and was replaced with his stomach dropping as he stared at what was in front of him.
It was amazing how just one picture taped to his room’s wall could break him in a split second. He felt a hand squeeze his shoulder, Zhou Mi’s hand his brain had interpreted, as he somehow managed to take his eyes off it and hand it over to Zhou Mi. Despite how much he wanted to hide it from his gege and save him from the feelings to come, he knew the other deserved to see it as well.
“I-I don’t understand,” Zhou Mi whispered as his voice began to crack his hand that held the photograph shaking. “This can’t be real. Please tell me this is a cruel joke, Henry?”
In his hands was an image of Kyuhyun and Ryeowook, both in a passionate lip lock.
“I should have known. It was just so obvious, yet I was enough of an idiot to actually pursue him,” muttered Henry and ignored his gege’s question, refusing to let tears escape his eyes.
He shook his head in a desperate attempt to get rid of these feelings but to no avail, and he decided to open the door of his room. He decided he was a masochist because as soon as he opened the door, his eyes locked on his and Zhou Mi’s roommate asleep in each others arms, on his bed.
Henry couldn’t take it anymore. He was about to approach the couple in a fit of rage when he felt the other Chinese man pull him back, immediately closing the door in the process.
“Henry, I know you’re upset, but please don’t take it out on them. They did nothing wrong. I know you tend to be more emotional when you lack sleep, so why don’t we just think about this in the morning. You can sleep in mine and Kui… his room tonight.”
“What’s wrong with you Gege? Why are you so calm about all this? I know for a fact that this should be hurting you just as much as it’s hurting me!” cried Henry, no longer able hold back his tears.
“It does… hurt me, more than you think it does, but do we really have the right to be angry?” questioned Zhou Mi as tears escaped his eyes, showing just how much the photo and the scene they had just both witnessed had affected him. “We both loved them as well. It’s just that our love wasn’t returned. That means all four of us have really committed the same offense. If they really do love each other enough to have the kind of relationship this picture suggests, then we should just be happy for them. Mutual love between two people is a rare and beautiful occurrence…. Who are we to try and break it?”
Despite the mixture of pain, anger, and tiredness Henry felt, somehow, Zhou Mi’s words got through to him. He let himself be dragged away by Zhou Mi to the other dorm room without even the slightest bit of protest.
Everything seemed like a blur afterwards. Somehow, he ended up in his gege’s bed and comforting embrace, while wearing the other’s long, tight pajamas. He just couldn’t bear wearing Kyuhyun’s clothing, despite the fact that they were much closer in size.
He wasn’t sure how, maybe it was Zhou Mi’s comforting embrace or the gentle hum of Chinese lullabies that his mother had sang for him when he was a child, but Henry eventually drifted off into to a dreamless sleep. The Chinese-Canadian had escaped the bitter world of reality, if only for a few hours.
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Henry had awoken to the sound of the not-so-quiet whispers of two very familiar voices. After seeing what he did last night and going to sleep past 3 o’clock in the morning, he wasn’t exactly quite ready to get up yet.
Besides, Zhou Mi, being the heavy sleeper that he was, had yet to wake up, leaving him in the older man’s tight but comfortable embrace. However, he had always been a bit nosy, so he decided not to fall asleep, opting to hear the conversation only a few feet away from him.
“See Ryeowook-hyung?” one cried in anger. “I told you this was happening! I told you there was more than friendship between them! It was all so obvious….”
“Calm down, Kyu,” whispered a voice that he was able to recognize anywhere. He could feel his heart contract in pain just a bit from hearing his perfect voice say his name. But there was something wrong. Why did it sound like he was about to break down in tears? “Maybe it’s not what you think. There could be a logical explanation for everything.”
“Logical explanation?” Kyuhyun repeated in disbelief. It sounded as if he had collided his fist with something hard and solid. “Face the facts, hyung! One told you that he was going on a date with a guy but didn’t tell you who it was, and the other did the same. They both came home late and at the same time, according to Heechul-hyung. Now, they’re sleeping on my bed in each other’s arms! Let’s not forget the fact that he’s wearing his clothes! What else are we supposed to think?”
Henry’s eyes widened while hearing Kyuhyun’s words, well they would have if he wasn’t pretending to be asleep. They were most definitely talking about him and Zhou Mi.
He almost let out a yelp that would have revealed that he had been listening on their conversation when he felt someone squeeze his hand. It didn’t take a genius to realize that it had been Zhou Mi. So he wasn’t the only one eavesdropping on their conversation after all.
“I know that all the signs lead to that, but I just wouldn’t know what to do if it’s all true! Do you know how hard I’ve tried to learn all his likes, get him things that he wants? No matter how hard I try it seems like Mi-hyung knows more about him than I do, like how he enjoys playing with bubbles or his love for the red teletubby,” Ryeowook admitted with what sounded like a sob.
It sounded as if Ryeowook was crying. Henry’s eyes really did widen as he tried to struggle out of Zhou Mi’s grip, though the other two were too distracted to notice. His gege shook his head, telling him to wait a while longer.
The Chinese-Canadian let out an inaudible sigh as he complied with the elder’s wishes. There must be a reason why he wanted him to wait. Besides, he didn’t want to admit it, but Zhou Mi was much stronger than he looked. He couldn’t escape even if he wanted to.
“Of course I know what you’re going through,” replied Kyuhyun in a tone that he thought he’d never hear from his hyung. “From the moment Zhou Mi-hyung came here from China over a month ago, he wasn’t the closest to Heechul-hyung, Siwon-hyung, or even Hankyung-hyung. It had always been me that he was closest to. Even though I didn’t think he’d ever love me back, at least I knew that I was the closest to his heart, and I thought that was enough. Then, Henli suddenly comes along and suddenly they become best friends! He’s even spending more time with him that he does with me lately. I’ve done so much to try to get him to like me. I even gave up playing StarCraft on Saturday nights just to go shopping with him, which I absolutely hate. I love Mimi-hyung so much, and Henli doesn’t even have to try to get his love.”
“Oh my gosh, Kui Xian, do you really mean that?” Zhou Mi suddenly exclaimed as he jumped out of bed to Kyuhyun’s side, sending Henry tumbling out of the bed to the hardwood floor. He groaned in pain, not that his gege or Kyuhyun noticed. “You really love me?”
“M-Mimi-hyung, h-how much did you h-hear?” stuttered Kyuhyun in horror, which was completely unlike him.
Zhou Mi smiled his usual, happy smile, but, even in pain, Henry could tell it was slightly wider and brighter in the presence of Kyuhyun. “Everything but let’s talk about this somewhere else, Kui Xian. I think Henry and Li Xu need some time to talk privately as well.”
Without another word, Zhou Mi sent me a wink before exiting the room with an extremely confused Kyuhyun in tow. Now Henry realized why Zhou Mi had insisted on him waiting. The little sneak wanted to hear Kyuhyun’s confession before the two found out they were awake!
“A-Are you okay, Henli-yah?” Ryeowook asked me nervously as he helped me out of the ground and to the bed Zhou Mi and I had been sleeping in. “That looked like a pretty painful fall.”
“No worries, I’m fine, hyung,” Henry replied with a small smile. After hearing the conversation between him and Kyuhyun, he could finally realize the little things that he hadn’t before, like the light blush that spread on Ryeowook’s cheeks when he gave that simple smile. “So, everything that you said, you really meant it, didn’t you.”
Ryeowook looked down, embarrassed at the fact that not only did Zhou Mi hear but so did Henry. “Y-yes, I meant it all, but you don’t have to feel burdened about it. I do love you, so much more than you can imagine. But I’m fine with just staying friends. Our relationship doesn’t have to change from how it wa-”
“I love you too, hyung,” cut in Henry as he gave Ryeowook a hug, though the other didn’t return it, too shocked at the turn of events.
“You do?” asked Ryeowook in disbelief. “B-but aren’t you dating Zhou Mi?”
“No, I don’t even have any special feelings for him, besides friendship. If you thought that from how we’ve been acting lately, it was because he was trying to help me seem more mature so you’d like me more,” explained Henry as he let go of the other. “Speaking of which, if you love me so much, then why did you kiss Kyuhyun-hyung?”
“Oh, you don’t need to change yourself, Henli-yah. You’re perfect just the way you are!” cried Ryeowook, obviously not hearing Henry’s last words. He was about to repeat it again when it seemed like Henry’s last few sentences finally processed in his mind. “What? I’ve never kissed Kyuhyun-ah!”
“That’s not what the picture that was taped on your door showed,” Henry responded as he grabbed the picture from his jacket pocket hanging from the bed post. He looked at the picture for a second time and his face turned an embarrassing shade of red. “Umm, never mind. I trust you, hyung, so you don’t have to see!”
“What the heck? Henli-yah, these pictures have obviously been edited, and pretty badly I might add,” pointed out Ryeowook as he succumbed to a fits of laughter at the other’s cluelessness. “Please don’t tell me you and Mi-hyung actually fell for that picture!”
He was right though. The picture had obviously been edited horribly. In fact, the Kyuhyun and Ryeowook’s picture had two separate backgrounds. Kyuhyun’s even had Siwon behind him doing a peace sign.
“Don’t laugh!” Henry whined childishly, lightly hitting the other on the shoulder. “It was pretty dark in the hallway when Mi-ge and I found it. We were really tired after working on our composition class project. Plus, we were already suspicious about you and Kyuhyun-hyung liking each other.”
“I’m sorry about laughing at you, Henli-yah,” apologized Ryeowook as he shyly gave Henry a quick peck on the lips. “Kyuhyun-ah is a close friend and fun to be around, but he’s not you. Remember that from now on. I was hoping that we could, you know, start dating, if that’s okay with you.”
“You’re so cute, Wookie. Of course. I’d love to be your boyfriend!” Henry said excitedly, secretly amused at the blush forming on Ryeowook’s face in reaction to his new nickname. “But you’re going to have to give a lot more than that little peck now that we’re together.”
With that said, Henry gave his new boyfriend a mischievous grin before pouncing out on him. Both were too occupied with their… activities to realize someone who smirked wickedly before a flash from a camera was seen.
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“Okay losers, I win the bet,” the infamous Kim Heechul announced, showing the other four the pictures he had taken of the newly formed couples. “Now, cough up the cash. I need to buy Heebum a new outfit for his date with Jessica-yah’s cat tomorrow, pronto.”
Yesung groaned as he handed Heechul a wad of cash and sighed. “I would have so won this if Zhou Mi hadn’t stopped Henry from copying me, instead of that idiot Park Yoochun! I’m so much more mature than him! At least I don’t let myself get controlled by the person I like!”
“Whatever you say, hyung,” muttered Kibum as he flipped the script for the latest play he was starring in. He got up from the floor and looked at the other. “I need go through the script with someone. Do that with me in my room, Yesung-hyung.”
“Of course I’ll help you, Kibummie!” Yesung replied happily as he followed his dongsaeng out of Heechul’s room, leaving Heechul to roll his eyes at him. Whipped would be the perfect word to describe it, he’d say.
“I still think my plan would have gotten Henli-yah into a relationship and laid, but Teukie-hyung just had to ruin everything by coming home too early!” complained Eunhyuk, giving Heechul his money in sadness. There goes a fun Sunday with his boyfriend.
Heechul rolled his eyes, greedily counting the money the two had given him. “I highly doubt that, Eunhyuk. Ryeowook wouldn’t have pounced on Henry just because he’s watching gay porn. He isn’t Donghae after all.”
“He’s right, you know,” Donghae purred into Eunhyuk’s ear, sending shivers down his spine. “Ryeowook-ah is nothing like me, Hyukkie. Could I interest you in some gay porn of our own, in my room?”
Eunhyuk grinned as he exited Heechul’s room with Donghae in tow. It looked like he didn’t need money to make a Sunday with his boyfriend fun after all.
“Aish, finally all those idiots are out of my room,” Heechul told Heebum, who was laying in his own custom kitty bed. “Of course my plan would work over theirs. Jealousy is the greatest weapon to get a couple together, which is why I suggested to Seasoning that Henli should go on a date and told Key that Lee Jinki was in love with him. I bet it was my awesome Photoshop skills that made most of it so believable!”
What Yesung and Eunhyuk would never know was that he was behind both of their plans’ failure. Heechul had dragged Han Geng and Siwon, who were in a middle of a date, past the smoke shop, which was next to a toy story, Zhou Mi had planned on buying the pipe at. He had also paid Shindong and Sungmin, mostly Shindong, to eat a good amount of the dorm building’s food, causing Leeteuk to have to go on his weekly shopping trip to the grocery store a few hours earlier than usual.
“Now, let’s make you all pretty for your date with Sica-yah’s cat tomorrow. If you have kittens with her, I might even be able to call one Heesica!” he cooed excitedly before carrying his cat outside of his room. Poor Heebum whimpered at the thought, but Heechul chose to ignore it and skipped merrily to the closest pet store outside campus.
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Kangin guffawed as after Henry and Zhou Mi explained the reasoning behind last week’s events. He ruffled Henry’s hair in a fatherly way and commented, “Of all the people in our group, you asked Zhou Mi to help you seem more mature? I don’t know if you haven’t noticed, but Zhou Mi usually isn’t one to act like an adult. Anyone would have been better than him. Hell, you could have even asked Kyuhyun for help! The little idiot’s more mature than all of us put together!”
Zhou Mi, about to protest against his hyung’s suggestions of him acting like a child, was interrupted by Heechul, who let out a rather disturbing cackle. Most people would have been concerned, but the group knew it was simply the norm for their crazy friend. “Kyuhyun being more mature than all of us put together? Are you sure you and I have the same Kyuhyun in mind? You know, the one who sulks and stuffs himself with ice cream whenever either Kibum or I beat him in a game of StarCraft? That Cho Kyuhyun?”
“Hyung!” protested Kyuhyun, who had been smirking with pride at Kangin’s statement of his maturity.
“Look, Kangin,” said Heechul, putting his arm around the younger but larger man in an uncharacteristic way that almost looked sympathetic. “Just because Kyuhyun knows how to insult people with big scary words that confuse your poor little brain, doesn’t mean he’s more mature than the rest of us. Tell you what, Heechul-hyung will buy you a nice dictionary for Christmas and make it all better!”
“Shut up, hyung,” Kangin muttered in embarrassment, trying to shrug off Heechul’s arm.
Before anything else could be said, the resident umma of the group’s screech was heard throughout the house. “LEE HYUKJAE, WOULD YOU CARE TO EXPLAIN WHY OUR CABLE COMPANY HAS BILLED US FOR BUYING GAY PORN ON PAY-PER-VIEW?!”
Everyone laughed at their friend’s predicament. Well, everyone except Henry and Zhou Mi, who looked at each other with obvious fear in their eyes. Heechul smirked as he saw the two panic from the corner of his eye.
“So I guess Eunhyuk-hyung’s been lying all along about not watching porn, right Henli?” commented Ryeowook with a giggle. He turned to face his new boyfriend only to have a puzzled expression on his face. “Wait, where did Henli-yah and Mi-hyung go?”
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A/N: You know that girl in your group that’s always cracking the funniest jokes that have people on the floor? Yeah, that’s not me, so forgive my underdeveloped sense of humor. I tried my best. For some reason, this took me forever to write, so I hope you all enjoyed it. I know there are plenty of you that think Mimi’s sweet, innocent, and blah blah blah, but I realized he’s a closet pervert after watching that SJ-M interview when they had to dress up Barbie dolls.
On a side note, have you guys seen the No Other MV that just came out? I was basically squealing throughout the entire thing. It was just so cute! Yesung’s proposal with the balloons was just… I can’t even explain it. I think it’s the first time I’ve seen Wookie wear a sleeveless shirt. I flailed the most during Siwon’s parts, but I swear I thought that he was going to look up the one girl’s dress! (Or am I just being a pervert? ><)
Author: rainie_night
Pairings: HenWook (Henry/Ryeowook), QMi (Kyuhyun/Zhou Mi), friendship!ZhouRy (Zhou Mi/Henry), friendship!KyuWook (Kyuhyun/Ryeowook) and other implied/ninja pairings
Rating: PG-13
Genre(s): fluff, friendship, romance, humor, crack, a tiny bit of angst
Warning(s): college verse!AU, sexual innuendos, crack
Summary: Henry is on a mission to prove to his beloved Ryeowook that he’s more mature than he looks. What could possibly go wrong? Well, when your mentor is Zhou Mi… a lot of things.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything except this unoriginal plot! *sniffle*
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“So for our song, besides your violin solo, I was thinking we could maybe add in a cool English rap because it seems like all the big songwriters are doing it. Since you’re actually fluent in English, I think you should write it,” suggested a tall Chinese man with a smile that almost seemed to radiate sunshine.
However, he was left unanswered, left to stare at his spaced out dongsaeng. They were currently in their university’s music composition class, working on a project.
He sighed. “Henry? Henry? Henry, are you even listening to me?”
The young Chinese-Canadian snapped out of his thoughts and gave the elder a sheepish smile. Clearing his throat, he nodded and said, “Umm, you said something about Louis Vuitton’s new spring line and just how much you’re dying to get your hands on even just one piece of the collection, right Mi-ge?”
Zhou Mi’s eyes narrowed, rolling them not long after. “Nice try, Henry; sadly that’s not going to work. I know everyone keeps saying I’m obsessed with that, but I consider plenty of things more important, like this project worth fifteen percent of our final grade!”
“Seeing as how that’s the only thing I’ve been saying for the past week whenever you’d ask me if I was paying attention, I highly doubt that,” Henry muttered to himself sarcastically as he rolled his eyes as well.
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
He sighed, running his hand through his hair before putting a comforting hand on the younger’s shoulder. Giving a small smile quite different from the wide one Zhou Mi presented to most, he said, “Don’t think I’ve noticed there’s something wrong. What’s the problem? You now, as your gege, you can tell me, right? Besides, we’re all the way at the back, so you don’t have to worry about anyone hearing.”
Henry sighed and banged his head into his desk in frustration, which resulted in him whining in pain. He pouted as he witnessed the elder succumbing to fits of laughter not long after, causing the other’s pout to deepen and his cheeks to puff out.
As soon as Zhou Mi finished, though soft giggles still lingered from time to time, he gave the other a smile before gently massaging the area of impact. Despite being slightly upset at his gege for laughing at him, Henry couldn’t help but smile a bit at his brotherly action. He decided to tell him his secret. He trusted him enough even though the two had only known each other for a month.
The violinist took a deep breath before whining, “I’m going to end up an old and lonely virgin! No one’s going to love me romantically, EVER!”
“Oh, don’t be silly, Henry! That’s all you were worried about?” chirped Zhou Mi with a smile (sometimes he wondered if the other ever stopped), patting him on the back reassuringly. Henry couldn’t help but have his mood brighten a bit from the reassurance. “You won’t be alone! I’m sure there’ll be others in that state to accompany you, like Kui Xian and probably that friend of yours named Jinki. So, there’s no need to fear!”
His improving mood quickly left just as fast as in entered. He groaned at the other’s cluelessness. Henry should have known better than to come to Zhou Mi for advice. His gege had good intentions, but the other was just too… Zhou Mi. Han Geng would probably have been a better option.
Despite everything, Henry couldn’t help but retaliate and get some revenge, though Zhou Mi probably still hadn’t realized what he had just told Henry. “Oh, you shouldn’t be so silly either, Gege! There’s no way that Kyuhyun-hyung would be an old virgin, not after you’re done with him!”
The older Chinese man turned to a violent shade of red almost instantly after the words left the younger’s mouth. Shaking his head, Zhou Mi tried to inconspicuously change the subject. “So umm, who gave you the idea you were going to end up an old and lonely virgin, anyway?”
Henry wasn’t evil enough to press on in his attempt to embarrass his hyung, so he sighed and confessed, “It was Ryeowook-hyung.”
Zhou Mi raised his eyebrow at what the other had admitted, trying to confirm, “Really? Li Xu? Hmm…. who would have thought he’d be the one out of the fourteen of us who’d have the guts to finally break it to you.”
“Hyung!” Henry, whined indignantly.
The lyricist giggled at the younger’s reaction, took a glance at the front of the class where Ryeowook was working on his project with Kyuhyun, who happened to be his partner. He had never admitted it, but he had always been jealous of the close relationship the two held.
The elder whispered, “Relax, I was just kidding. You know for a fact that you’re the most irresistibly adorable one out of all of us. Still, I can’t believe Li Xu would be the one to bully by saying that!”
Zhou Mi had just transferred to Seoul University from his school in China for the foreign exchange program only a month ago. Thanks to an almost instant friendship with Han Geng and the baby of the group, Henry, he was lucky enough to be invited into what was considered the campus’s most exclusive dorm building, living with Han Geng, Henry, and twelve other rather good-looking men.
Now, he was friends with everyone in the building, but he was only particularly close with Han Geng, Henry, Heechul, Siwon, and his roommate Kyuhyun. Despite all that, he couldn’t believe that Henry’s roommate of all people would bully the youngest. From what he had seen, he practically took care of the hamster boy like a mother would her son.
“Me being adorable is exactly the problem,” complained Henry, burying his face in his arms in exasperation. “Ryeowook-hyung doesn’t see me as anything more than his adorable roommate that needs to be taken care of. I don’t think he finds me mature in anyway, so he doesn’t take me seriously, like I’m just a child, even when he’s only one year older than me! The truth is…. I really like him, Gege, maybe even love him. All I know is I feel something different around him than I feel when I’m with you, even when I was with a girl I liked.”
The younger stared at the other, expecting him to either bust out in laughter or scold him for being to young to be in love. He was expecting anything, except exactly what Zhou Mi did next.
His gege let out a girlish squeal before enveloping the baby of the group into a big bear hug and cooed, “Omo, Mochi’s fallen in love for the first time and with Li Xu! That’s just about the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. Don’t worry, Henry. I’ll help you make Li Xu see that you’re mature… or maybe just think you’re more mature. I can’t do the impossible after all.”
Henry pouted again but shook his head with a sigh before giving his gege a grateful hug. “Thank you so much.”
“No problem. Maybe after you’ve gotten laid a few times, you can actually focus enough to help me compose the song that’s fifteen percent of our final grade!” Zhou Mi reminded, earning him a whack on the head, courtesy of the hamster boy.
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“Alright, the first thing we have to do is observe people, and see the people who stand out with their overwhelming maturity,” informed Zhou Mi as they sat in the grassy area near the cafeteria. It was a popular place for students to unwind during their free time. The lunch rush hour had just ended, so there were quite a number of people. It was the perfect time to watch without being suspected of anything strange.
“Yes, I have to be exactly like him!” Henry cried out, pointing to the man sitting next to his beloved Ryeowook (of course, Kyuhyun just had to be there as well). He could just tell this person was bursting with maturity and charisma that was unrivaled by no other. “I need to be like him! Just look at his maturity!”
Zhou Mi looked at Henry’s direction in excitement, only to see just who he was pointing. He sighed and smacked Henry on the head.
“Right, because Yesung-hyung is definitely the epitome of maturity,” Zhou Mi muttered sarcastically. “You should definitely be exactly like him. Better yet, why don’t we impress Li Xu even further by taking lessons from Lee Jinki on how to be graceful. You could even learn to cook from Donghai. Who knows? Maybe you can learn how to make the stove explode like he did last week!”
“You have been spending way too much time with Heechul-hyung,” muttered Henry, rubbing the sore spot Zhou Mi had left on his head.
Before any reply could be made by the elder, the two Chinese males spotted their friend getting up to throw away a piece of paper he had been scribbling on, only to trip on his own two feet and land on the lap of a very disgruntled and flushed Kim Kibum. The other only laughed and proceeded to stroke his dongsaeng’s philtrum.
Zhou Mi gave Henry his usual sunny smile, though it seemed more smug and mocking than usual. “You’re just mad because I’m right.”
“Definitely too much time with Heechul-hyung….” Henry muttered with a sigh.
“Ooh, Henry, what about him?” suggested the tall Chinese man excitedly, pointing to Park Yoochun, a popular third year university student, who was currently smoking a cigarette. Girls couldn’t help but giggle and blush as the passed him, while men looked at him with admiring gazes. “To make it even more mature, you could smoke a pipe!”
“Well, I can’t exactly think of anything, and you’re right about Yoochun-ssi seeming pretty mature,” Henry considered with a cute, thoughtful on his face. Despite saying this, he still thought being like Yesung would be a much better idea. “Okay, let’s do it. I have a class in ten minutes, so why don’t you get it?”
“Alright, let’s get a move on,” ordered Zhou Mi as they left the grassy area. Henry was off to his dance class, while the elder exited campus to find a nice pipe.
Just as they were out of earshot, a high-pitched, dolphin-like voice was heard screeching throughout the grassy field. A cute man could be seen pulling the ear of the very popular, mature man. “YAH! PARK YOOCHUN, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO SMOKE! IT’LL RUIN YOUR VOICE!”
“I’m sorry, baby. Tablo-hyung brought them over, and I just couldn’t resist,” the other replied frantically, wincing at the hard ear pull.
“Well, then you can have those disgusting cigarettes keep you company tonight because I’m staying over at Hyukkie’s dorm tonight!” he screamed before trying to leave for his next class, not that Yoochun was making it easy for him.
Every student in the grassy area gaped in shock as one of the most well-know students on campus went to the ground to get a hold of the other’s leg and begged, “No Su, don’t sleep in his room tonight! I know he’s your best friend, but the guy’s a complete pervert. Who knows what he’ll do to you in your sleep with that crazy, English-impaired boyfriend of his!”
Mature indeed.
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“Are you sure this pipe is a good brand?” Henry questioned suspiciously, looking over what Zhou Mi had brought him. Both were sitting on the bench outside their dorm building entrance, where Ryeowook was bound to spot them. “ I mean, I don’t really know anything about pipes, but I was expecting something much different.”
“Oh, believe me, this is the most expensive one of its kind at the store,” reassured Zhou Mi before spotting Ryeowook making his way to the building with Kyuhyun at his side (‘Did they always have to be together?’ Zhou Mi wondered at the back of his mind.). He let out an excited squeal and hid in the bush behind the bench Henry was sitting in. “Oh crap, it’s Li Xu! I already prepared everything for the pipe so just blow into it, ‘kay? Don’t suck anything in or it’ll make you gag. Jiayou Henry! Make sure to tell me all the dirty details later, if you know what I mean.”
The younger one resisted the urge to throw a rock into the bush, hopefully hitting its very lanky target, because Ryeowook spotted him and waved. Henry couldn’t help but grin happily as Ryeowook approached him with that subtle, but beautiful smile. Kyuhyun looked at the two, rolling his eyes, and headed to the building, planning to spend some time with his roommate. “Hi Henli-yah, you’re not usually outside during this time. What’s that in your hand?”
“Oh right, it’s nothing really, just a pipe I got,” Henry said, attempting to sound calm, cool, and collected, when in reality his stomach lurched in nervousness.
The younger gave an uneasy smile. Doing it now would be a better time then ever, seeing as how anyone could pass by any second. He sighed and puffed into the odd-looking pipe. Henry didn’t suck anything in, just as Zhou Mi had suggested, and closed his eyes to smell the burning tobacco he had expected.
To his horror, instead of smoke, soap bubbles merrily emitted from the other side. Henry paled as he watched them sail upwards, one landing on Ryeowook’s nose, which made the shorter man giggle. Zhou Mi had just succeeded in making Henry seem like even more of a kid in the other’s eyes.
Ryeowook let out another small giggle, fondly pinched the younger’s cheek, and cooed, “Aww, I had no idea you still played with bubbles, Henli-yah! Next time I shop for my niece at the toy store, I’ll make sure to get something for you to play with. Anyway, I have to go, since I’ve got a whole lot of homework to do. Bye, see you in our room later!”
When Henry thought Ryeowook was out of seeing or hearing distance, he screamed, muffling the sound a bit with his hand. He heard a shuffling sound in the bushes and was reminded that Zhou Mi was still there, and it was all his fault. Henry had a feeling that the other was trying to escape his wrath. Over Zhou Mi’s dead body!
“Yah Mimi-ge, what the hell is this you got me?” Henry cried in frustrated Chinese. As Zhou Mi popped out of his hiding place with a sheepish smile because his escape plan was foiled, he aimed the so-called pipe at the other’s head, barely missing its desired target. “When I asked for a pipe, I wanted one that would use tobacco, not soapy water! Now, he thinks I’m even more immature, thanks to you!”
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Umm, I love you too much to see you throw your life away to tobacco?” squeaked the older one as he got out of the bush he was hiding in and sat next to the violin player on the bench, though making sure there was enough distance so Henry wouldn’t strangle him. He continued to smile sheepishly and scooted closer once he deemed that he’s cooled down a bit. He laughed nervously. “Okay, truthfully, I would never give you a real pipe. Geng-ge would kill me if I defile the innocence of the baby!”
With that said, Henry smirked before pouncing on Zhou Mi on the bench, which was actually quite long. He attempted to strange his gege as the other tried squirming away.
Both failed to notice the sound of the window in front of their bench close with Ryeowook and Kyuhyun behind it, thought neither could really understand their speedy Chinese.
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“Considering the fact because of you Ryeowook-hyung just gave me an entire bubble play set a few minutes ago, I can’t believe I’m letting you help me again,” muttered Henry as Zhou Mi happily flipped through the pay-per-view channels. “Anyway, what’s your new plan? It better be work, or I won’t let you help me anymore.”
“Well, I asked Heechul-hyung for advice without telling his it was you, but it’s Heechul-hyung after all, so he figured it all out,” said the Chinese man, still flipping to channels until it landed on a specific channel. “He told me that you should just rape Li Xu and get it over with, but I knew you wouldn’t do that. That’s when Eunhyuk-ah came into the room with his laptop, which gave me the idea to do this!”
Henry looked at the television screen sheepishly, cheeks turning a pinker by the second, as Zhou Mi went through the procedure of ordering the program. “But does Ryeowook-hyung really have to catch me watching porn, especially gay porn? Honestly, I don’t even want to watch it. Just the thought of it all gives me the chills.”
“Really? Because it seems pretty interesting to me! Plus, it’s like an instructional video on what you’re going to be doing once Li Xu thinks you’ve matured,” commented Zhou Mi, taking his eyes of the stereotypical foreplay storyline taking place during the beginning of the movie. However, once he spotted the terrified look in the younger’s eyes, he gave him a sympathetic smile. “Look, I really think that he will see you as more mature after this, but, since you’re feeling uncomfortable, I’ll set it on mute until he comes. You don’t even have to watch it.”
The other nodded with relief in his eyes before taking out his Blackberry to take his mind off what was playing on the screen.
Everything went well for him and the elder, who got bored of the screen in front and started searching through his man purse for something to entertain him, until the sound of Leeteuk, the dorm building’s unofficial umma, brightly announced, “Henli-yah, Mi-yah, I’m back early from the store. Where are you two?”
Zhou Mi and Henry looked at each other with panicked expressions on their faces. Leeteuk was the last person they wanted to catch them ‘watching’ gay porn, minus Han Geng (who would probably ground Henry until his chubby cheeks sagged from old age and would probably burn all of Zhou Mi’s Louis Vuitton bags, which apparently to him was much worse than dying).
The elder let out a fast string of obscenities in Chinese and pressed a button to take them back to the channel that Zhou Mi had been watching before he had called Henry over to show his plan. Henry grabbed the remote, making sure it was no longer muted.
Familiar sounds reached his ears from the television, causing him to give his gege a raised eyebrow, so he asked, “You were watching the Teletubbies marathon before you called me over?”
“I just couldn’t resist, okay?” the older Chinese man said with a pout, looking at the screen for a few moments before looking back at the other. “I just love that purple one for some reason. His fashion sense is just miles ahead of the other three.”
He was just about to point out exactly why his gege was so fond of the gay, man purse carrying teletubby, when he was suddenly interrupted by the voice of the building’s resident umma. “Ah, so that’s where you two were. Why didn’t you answer me when I was calling for you?”
Henry frantically searched his mind with a decent excuse when another familiar voice, the last one he wanted to hear at a time like this, cried, “Henli-yah, is that Teletubbies you’re watching?”
“Yeah, Henry just loves the red one,” Zhou Mi answered for him as he watched the purple teletubby bouncing around with his orange man purse. Henry could have sworn he was watching the thing with an admiring look in his eyes.
Henry swears he’s going to kill Zhou Mi (or better yet, tell Han Geng that Zhou Mi tried to get him to watch porn) if he ends up getting a red Teletubbies costume for his birthday from Ryeowook.
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“This is your last chance, got that Mi-ge?” reminded Henry as they walked out of the cafeteria and headed to their dorm building. “I will seriously ask for someone else’s help if it doesn’t work this time.”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s what you said last time,” muttered Zhou Mi while leading the younger to the bench in front of their dorm building. He gave Henry apologetic smile before having both of them sit. “Look, I know my plans haven’t been working out for you, but please understand that I really am trying my best. You’re like the younger brother I never had, and I can’t stand to see you disappointed again because of my bad planning. If this plan doesn’t work out, I’m going to have to suggest that you just confess to Li Xu.”
“If that’s really what you think, I trust your judgment, Gege,” Henry responded with a sigh at the thought of rejection from Ryeowook. “So, what’s your plan anyway?”
“Well, I think one of the reasons that Li Xu looks at you like a child is that he’s never seen you show any romantic feelings towards other people, and he’s too clueless to see what you feel for him,” explained the older man. “I think it would be good if you just go on a date with someone. Now, I know you’re going to be against it, but it doesn’t have to be an actual date. He just has to think it is. You could just hang out with one of your friends, and tell him it’s a date.”
“But today’s Saturday, and that’s the day most people go out with others for a date,” reasoned Henry. “Who am I going to ask? The only single people I’m close to are you, who Ryeowook-hyung will never believe I’m dating, Kyuhyun, who’s his best friend, and Jinki!”
“There, that’s perfect!” cried Zhou Mi excitedly, clapping his hands in happiness. “Just ask him to hang out with you. Besides, what else is he going to do on a Saturday night?”
Henry thought about it for a second before nodding his head in response. “You know that’s actually not a bad ide-”
The Chinese-Canadian was cut of when Lee Jinki himself came running over to him with look of pure glee on his features. He spotted Henry, went to him, and announced, “I am so happy right now, and since you’re one of my closest friends, I thought I’d tell you in person!”
The other blinked in confusion and nodded in order to tell Jinki to continue.
“You know that guy, the one that sits in front of us in World Literature?” questioned his friend, while Henry nodded to tell him that he did. Who didn’t know Key? He was considered one of the most popular and beautiful people on campus. Plus, his friend happened to be completely in love with him. “Well, Key asked me to go to the movies with him tonight, and I accepted! You have no idea how shocked I was when he asked me. I thought he always had a thing for Jjong, but appararen-”
“Wow, I’m so happy for you!” Zhou Mi cried in glee, just to stop Jinki from his rambling. “Congratulations! Key is a really great catch.”
Jinki smiled brightly before he took a look at his watch and gasped. “Oh no, I better go. I have to make sure everything is perfect for tonight. Taemin-ah promised that he’d help me. See you guys later, and thanks for the support.”
“I can’t believe Jinki-yah got a boyfriend before me!” Henry whined as he watched his friend trip over his own two feet while running to his own dorm building.
The elder nodded his head in agreement and added, “Maybe you were right about ending up an old and lonely virgin.”
A loud cry of pain was heard as Henry hit the other upside the head. “Shut up, Gege….”
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“Wow, you look… nice,” commented Ryeowook, watching as Henry buttoned up his shirt while exiting the bathroom connected to their room. “What’s the occasion? Have a date tonight?”
The younger of the two smiled and nodded happily. “Yeah, I do actually.”
Ryeowook gave Henry a shocked expression, obviously not expecting his answer. However, he quickly composed himself and asked, “Really now? Who’s the lucky girl that’s caught the eye of our group’s baby?”
“Girl?” the other asked with a raised eyebrow. He then offered him a small smile and shook his head, grabbing his wallet afterwards. “It’s actually not a girl. It’s a boy that I’m going out with tonight. Well, I better go before I’m late. Don’t wait up, okay? Goodnight Hyung!”
Henry left before the Korean could get another word in. He headed for the bench in front of the entrance of his building to find someone already waiting for him there. He approached the man while the other gave him a smile. “Wow, don’t you look handsome? It looks like you really went all out for this, Henry.”
The other sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. “Gege, thank you so much for letting me hang out with you. It would have been pathetic to spend my date alone. I know you usually spend your Saturday nights with Kyuhyun-hyung, annoying him while he plays StarCraft until he gives up and goes shopping with you.”
Zhou Mi rubbed Henry’s head affectionately, very much like someone would to their puppy, much to the latter’s annoyance. Henry had to remind himself that the other was trying to help him. Plus, the torture that he’d have to go through, courtesy of Kyuhyun and Heechul for killing him, was just not worth it.
“It’s not a big deal. Kui Xian couldn’t have done the usual with me tonight anyway. He needed to work on his project for composition class with Li Xu. I’ll give you three guesses as to what we’re going to do tonight, Henry.”
“I should have known you’d have some ulterior motive behind this,” muttered Henry with a groan. He was hoping to do something less productive but should have know better since it was Zhou Mi. The fact that Kyuhyun and Ryeowook would be spending more time together dampened his mood just a bit more. “Anyway, we better not be doing this at the library. We’re doing this at the all-you-can-eat sushi bar near the campus, and you are paying!”
Zhou Mi pouted and huffed, “You’re the one who technically asked me out, and Ihave to pay? Gosh Henry, you have got to be like the worst date I’ve ever had!”
“Judging from all the success your help has given me in wooing Ryeowook-hyung, I’m starting to wonder how many of these dates you’ve actually had,” Henry pointed out and dragged Zhou Mi to the school gates before the other could get a word in.
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“Wow, I don’t know how we did it, but we actually got the entire song finished in one night!” Zhou Mi cheered as they headed to their dorm building. After coming up with the lyrics and a basic melody at the sushi restaurant, they headed to the university’s library, which was usually open twenty-four hours a day. Unlike most schools, their university held some of the best musicians in the country, so there were a places on campus, like the library, where music majors could compose their music. “I guess our professor knew what she was doing when she paired us up.”
“Nah, Professor Chen is just a huge Mandopop fan girl,” explained Henry, his voice coming down to a whisper as they entered their dorm building. The two of them had stayed at the library for hours, and it was now three o’clock in the morning. “Most of the school knows this. You know how Siwon-hyung’s Mandarin is almost fluent, right? He told me that Professor Chen paired him and Geng-ge up last year just for that reason alone.”
“A Mandopop fan girl, huh?” Zhou Mi repeated with a happy smirk. “I knew there was a reason why I liked her so much.”
Henry groaned and playfully hit his gege on the shoulder as they climbed the stairs. “No, I refuse to let you approach her and fan boy about it. Hearing you and Geng-ge go on and on for hours about Jolin Tsai, Jay Chou, and whoever the hell you two talk about is enough, thank you.”
“Whatever you say Henry,” the elder replied in a teasing tone. “On another note, since our rooms are on the same floor, I’ll walk you to your room. It’s closer to the stairs anyway.”
Henry nodded, and they headed for his and Ryeowook’s room with a comfortable silence between them. He just couldn’t wait to pass out on his bed after hours working on a song that wasn’t even due for another month (Yes, his gege’s just crazy like that).
He practically ran to his room in excitement at the thought of sleeping until the late afternoon. However, the need for sleep disappeared and was replaced with his stomach dropping as he stared at what was in front of him.
It was amazing how just one picture taped to his room’s wall could break him in a split second. He felt a hand squeeze his shoulder, Zhou Mi’s hand his brain had interpreted, as he somehow managed to take his eyes off it and hand it over to Zhou Mi. Despite how much he wanted to hide it from his gege and save him from the feelings to come, he knew the other deserved to see it as well.
“I-I don’t understand,” Zhou Mi whispered as his voice began to crack his hand that held the photograph shaking. “This can’t be real. Please tell me this is a cruel joke, Henry?”
In his hands was an image of Kyuhyun and Ryeowook, both in a passionate lip lock.
“I should have known. It was just so obvious, yet I was enough of an idiot to actually pursue him,” muttered Henry and ignored his gege’s question, refusing to let tears escape his eyes.
He shook his head in a desperate attempt to get rid of these feelings but to no avail, and he decided to open the door of his room. He decided he was a masochist because as soon as he opened the door, his eyes locked on his and Zhou Mi’s roommate asleep in each others arms, on his bed.
Henry couldn’t take it anymore. He was about to approach the couple in a fit of rage when he felt the other Chinese man pull him back, immediately closing the door in the process.
“Henry, I know you’re upset, but please don’t take it out on them. They did nothing wrong. I know you tend to be more emotional when you lack sleep, so why don’t we just think about this in the morning. You can sleep in mine and Kui… his room tonight.”
“What’s wrong with you Gege? Why are you so calm about all this? I know for a fact that this should be hurting you just as much as it’s hurting me!” cried Henry, no longer able hold back his tears.
“It does… hurt me, more than you think it does, but do we really have the right to be angry?” questioned Zhou Mi as tears escaped his eyes, showing just how much the photo and the scene they had just both witnessed had affected him. “We both loved them as well. It’s just that our love wasn’t returned. That means all four of us have really committed the same offense. If they really do love each other enough to have the kind of relationship this picture suggests, then we should just be happy for them. Mutual love between two people is a rare and beautiful occurrence…. Who are we to try and break it?”
Despite the mixture of pain, anger, and tiredness Henry felt, somehow, Zhou Mi’s words got through to him. He let himself be dragged away by Zhou Mi to the other dorm room without even the slightest bit of protest.
Everything seemed like a blur afterwards. Somehow, he ended up in his gege’s bed and comforting embrace, while wearing the other’s long, tight pajamas. He just couldn’t bear wearing Kyuhyun’s clothing, despite the fact that they were much closer in size.
He wasn’t sure how, maybe it was Zhou Mi’s comforting embrace or the gentle hum of Chinese lullabies that his mother had sang for him when he was a child, but Henry eventually drifted off into to a dreamless sleep. The Chinese-Canadian had escaped the bitter world of reality, if only for a few hours.
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Henry had awoken to the sound of the not-so-quiet whispers of two very familiar voices. After seeing what he did last night and going to sleep past 3 o’clock in the morning, he wasn’t exactly quite ready to get up yet.
Besides, Zhou Mi, being the heavy sleeper that he was, had yet to wake up, leaving him in the older man’s tight but comfortable embrace. However, he had always been a bit nosy, so he decided not to fall asleep, opting to hear the conversation only a few feet away from him.
“See Ryeowook-hyung?” one cried in anger. “I told you this was happening! I told you there was more than friendship between them! It was all so obvious….”
“Calm down, Kyu,” whispered a voice that he was able to recognize anywhere. He could feel his heart contract in pain just a bit from hearing his perfect voice say his name. But there was something wrong. Why did it sound like he was about to break down in tears? “Maybe it’s not what you think. There could be a logical explanation for everything.”
“Logical explanation?” Kyuhyun repeated in disbelief. It sounded as if he had collided his fist with something hard and solid. “Face the facts, hyung! One told you that he was going on a date with a guy but didn’t tell you who it was, and the other did the same. They both came home late and at the same time, according to Heechul-hyung. Now, they’re sleeping on my bed in each other’s arms! Let’s not forget the fact that he’s wearing his clothes! What else are we supposed to think?”
Henry’s eyes widened while hearing Kyuhyun’s words, well they would have if he wasn’t pretending to be asleep. They were most definitely talking about him and Zhou Mi.
He almost let out a yelp that would have revealed that he had been listening on their conversation when he felt someone squeeze his hand. It didn’t take a genius to realize that it had been Zhou Mi. So he wasn’t the only one eavesdropping on their conversation after all.
“I know that all the signs lead to that, but I just wouldn’t know what to do if it’s all true! Do you know how hard I’ve tried to learn all his likes, get him things that he wants? No matter how hard I try it seems like Mi-hyung knows more about him than I do, like how he enjoys playing with bubbles or his love for the red teletubby,” Ryeowook admitted with what sounded like a sob.
It sounded as if Ryeowook was crying. Henry’s eyes really did widen as he tried to struggle out of Zhou Mi’s grip, though the other two were too distracted to notice. His gege shook his head, telling him to wait a while longer.
The Chinese-Canadian let out an inaudible sigh as he complied with the elder’s wishes. There must be a reason why he wanted him to wait. Besides, he didn’t want to admit it, but Zhou Mi was much stronger than he looked. He couldn’t escape even if he wanted to.
“Of course I know what you’re going through,” replied Kyuhyun in a tone that he thought he’d never hear from his hyung. “From the moment Zhou Mi-hyung came here from China over a month ago, he wasn’t the closest to Heechul-hyung, Siwon-hyung, or even Hankyung-hyung. It had always been me that he was closest to. Even though I didn’t think he’d ever love me back, at least I knew that I was the closest to his heart, and I thought that was enough. Then, Henli suddenly comes along and suddenly they become best friends! He’s even spending more time with him that he does with me lately. I’ve done so much to try to get him to like me. I even gave up playing StarCraft on Saturday nights just to go shopping with him, which I absolutely hate. I love Mimi-hyung so much, and Henli doesn’t even have to try to get his love.”
“Oh my gosh, Kui Xian, do you really mean that?” Zhou Mi suddenly exclaimed as he jumped out of bed to Kyuhyun’s side, sending Henry tumbling out of the bed to the hardwood floor. He groaned in pain, not that his gege or Kyuhyun noticed. “You really love me?”
“M-Mimi-hyung, h-how much did you h-hear?” stuttered Kyuhyun in horror, which was completely unlike him.
Zhou Mi smiled his usual, happy smile, but, even in pain, Henry could tell it was slightly wider and brighter in the presence of Kyuhyun. “Everything but let’s talk about this somewhere else, Kui Xian. I think Henry and Li Xu need some time to talk privately as well.”
Without another word, Zhou Mi sent me a wink before exiting the room with an extremely confused Kyuhyun in tow. Now Henry realized why Zhou Mi had insisted on him waiting. The little sneak wanted to hear Kyuhyun’s confession before the two found out they were awake!
“A-Are you okay, Henli-yah?” Ryeowook asked me nervously as he helped me out of the ground and to the bed Zhou Mi and I had been sleeping in. “That looked like a pretty painful fall.”
“No worries, I’m fine, hyung,” Henry replied with a small smile. After hearing the conversation between him and Kyuhyun, he could finally realize the little things that he hadn’t before, like the light blush that spread on Ryeowook’s cheeks when he gave that simple smile. “So, everything that you said, you really meant it, didn’t you.”
Ryeowook looked down, embarrassed at the fact that not only did Zhou Mi hear but so did Henry. “Y-yes, I meant it all, but you don’t have to feel burdened about it. I do love you, so much more than you can imagine. But I’m fine with just staying friends. Our relationship doesn’t have to change from how it wa-”
“I love you too, hyung,” cut in Henry as he gave Ryeowook a hug, though the other didn’t return it, too shocked at the turn of events.
“You do?” asked Ryeowook in disbelief. “B-but aren’t you dating Zhou Mi?”
“No, I don’t even have any special feelings for him, besides friendship. If you thought that from how we’ve been acting lately, it was because he was trying to help me seem more mature so you’d like me more,” explained Henry as he let go of the other. “Speaking of which, if you love me so much, then why did you kiss Kyuhyun-hyung?”
“Oh, you don’t need to change yourself, Henli-yah. You’re perfect just the way you are!” cried Ryeowook, obviously not hearing Henry’s last words. He was about to repeat it again when it seemed like Henry’s last few sentences finally processed in his mind. “What? I’ve never kissed Kyuhyun-ah!”
“That’s not what the picture that was taped on your door showed,” Henry responded as he grabbed the picture from his jacket pocket hanging from the bed post. He looked at the picture for a second time and his face turned an embarrassing shade of red. “Umm, never mind. I trust you, hyung, so you don’t have to see!”
“What the heck? Henli-yah, these pictures have obviously been edited, and pretty badly I might add,” pointed out Ryeowook as he succumbed to a fits of laughter at the other’s cluelessness. “Please don’t tell me you and Mi-hyung actually fell for that picture!”
He was right though. The picture had obviously been edited horribly. In fact, the Kyuhyun and Ryeowook’s picture had two separate backgrounds. Kyuhyun’s even had Siwon behind him doing a peace sign.
“Don’t laugh!” Henry whined childishly, lightly hitting the other on the shoulder. “It was pretty dark in the hallway when Mi-ge and I found it. We were really tired after working on our composition class project. Plus, we were already suspicious about you and Kyuhyun-hyung liking each other.”
“I’m sorry about laughing at you, Henli-yah,” apologized Ryeowook as he shyly gave Henry a quick peck on the lips. “Kyuhyun-ah is a close friend and fun to be around, but he’s not you. Remember that from now on. I was hoping that we could, you know, start dating, if that’s okay with you.”
“You’re so cute, Wookie. Of course. I’d love to be your boyfriend!” Henry said excitedly, secretly amused at the blush forming on Ryeowook’s face in reaction to his new nickname. “But you’re going to have to give a lot more than that little peck now that we’re together.”
With that said, Henry gave his new boyfriend a mischievous grin before pouncing out on him. Both were too occupied with their… activities to realize someone who smirked wickedly before a flash from a camera was seen.
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“Okay losers, I win the bet,” the infamous Kim Heechul announced, showing the other four the pictures he had taken of the newly formed couples. “Now, cough up the cash. I need to buy Heebum a new outfit for his date with Jessica-yah’s cat tomorrow, pronto.”
Yesung groaned as he handed Heechul a wad of cash and sighed. “I would have so won this if Zhou Mi hadn’t stopped Henry from copying me, instead of that idiot Park Yoochun! I’m so much more mature than him! At least I don’t let myself get controlled by the person I like!”
“Whatever you say, hyung,” muttered Kibum as he flipped the script for the latest play he was starring in. He got up from the floor and looked at the other. “I need go through the script with someone. Do that with me in my room, Yesung-hyung.”
“Of course I’ll help you, Kibummie!” Yesung replied happily as he followed his dongsaeng out of Heechul’s room, leaving Heechul to roll his eyes at him. Whipped would be the perfect word to describe it, he’d say.
“I still think my plan would have gotten Henli-yah into a relationship and laid, but Teukie-hyung just had to ruin everything by coming home too early!” complained Eunhyuk, giving Heechul his money in sadness. There goes a fun Sunday with his boyfriend.
Heechul rolled his eyes, greedily counting the money the two had given him. “I highly doubt that, Eunhyuk. Ryeowook wouldn’t have pounced on Henry just because he’s watching gay porn. He isn’t Donghae after all.”
“He’s right, you know,” Donghae purred into Eunhyuk’s ear, sending shivers down his spine. “Ryeowook-ah is nothing like me, Hyukkie. Could I interest you in some gay porn of our own, in my room?”
Eunhyuk grinned as he exited Heechul’s room with Donghae in tow. It looked like he didn’t need money to make a Sunday with his boyfriend fun after all.
“Aish, finally all those idiots are out of my room,” Heechul told Heebum, who was laying in his own custom kitty bed. “Of course my plan would work over theirs. Jealousy is the greatest weapon to get a couple together, which is why I suggested to Seasoning that Henli should go on a date and told Key that Lee Jinki was in love with him. I bet it was my awesome Photoshop skills that made most of it so believable!”
What Yesung and Eunhyuk would never know was that he was behind both of their plans’ failure. Heechul had dragged Han Geng and Siwon, who were in a middle of a date, past the smoke shop, which was next to a toy story, Zhou Mi had planned on buying the pipe at. He had also paid Shindong and Sungmin, mostly Shindong, to eat a good amount of the dorm building’s food, causing Leeteuk to have to go on his weekly shopping trip to the grocery store a few hours earlier than usual.
“Now, let’s make you all pretty for your date with Sica-yah’s cat tomorrow. If you have kittens with her, I might even be able to call one Heesica!” he cooed excitedly before carrying his cat outside of his room. Poor Heebum whimpered at the thought, but Heechul chose to ignore it and skipped merrily to the closest pet store outside campus.
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Kangin guffawed as after Henry and Zhou Mi explained the reasoning behind last week’s events. He ruffled Henry’s hair in a fatherly way and commented, “Of all the people in our group, you asked Zhou Mi to help you seem more mature? I don’t know if you haven’t noticed, but Zhou Mi usually isn’t one to act like an adult. Anyone would have been better than him. Hell, you could have even asked Kyuhyun for help! The little idiot’s more mature than all of us put together!”
Zhou Mi, about to protest against his hyung’s suggestions of him acting like a child, was interrupted by Heechul, who let out a rather disturbing cackle. Most people would have been concerned, but the group knew it was simply the norm for their crazy friend. “Kyuhyun being more mature than all of us put together? Are you sure you and I have the same Kyuhyun in mind? You know, the one who sulks and stuffs himself with ice cream whenever either Kibum or I beat him in a game of StarCraft? That Cho Kyuhyun?”
“Hyung!” protested Kyuhyun, who had been smirking with pride at Kangin’s statement of his maturity.
“Look, Kangin,” said Heechul, putting his arm around the younger but larger man in an uncharacteristic way that almost looked sympathetic. “Just because Kyuhyun knows how to insult people with big scary words that confuse your poor little brain, doesn’t mean he’s more mature than the rest of us. Tell you what, Heechul-hyung will buy you a nice dictionary for Christmas and make it all better!”
“Shut up, hyung,” Kangin muttered in embarrassment, trying to shrug off Heechul’s arm.
Before anything else could be said, the resident umma of the group’s screech was heard throughout the house. “LEE HYUKJAE, WOULD YOU CARE TO EXPLAIN WHY OUR CABLE COMPANY HAS BILLED US FOR BUYING GAY PORN ON PAY-PER-VIEW?!”
Everyone laughed at their friend’s predicament. Well, everyone except Henry and Zhou Mi, who looked at each other with obvious fear in their eyes. Heechul smirked as he saw the two panic from the corner of his eye.
“So I guess Eunhyuk-hyung’s been lying all along about not watching porn, right Henli?” commented Ryeowook with a giggle. He turned to face his new boyfriend only to have a puzzled expression on his face. “Wait, where did Henli-yah and Mi-hyung go?”
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A/N: You know that girl in your group that’s always cracking the funniest jokes that have people on the floor? Yeah, that’s not me, so forgive my underdeveloped sense of humor. I tried my best. For some reason, this took me forever to write, so I hope you all enjoyed it. I know there are plenty of you that think Mimi’s sweet, innocent, and blah blah blah, but I realized he’s a closet pervert after watching that SJ-M interview when they had to dress up Barbie dolls.
On a side note, have you guys seen the No Other MV that just came out? I was basically squealing throughout the entire thing. It was just so cute! Yesung’s proposal with the balloons was just… I can’t even explain it. I think it’s the first time I’ve seen Wookie wear a sleeveless shirt. I flailed the most during Siwon’s parts, but I swear I thought that he was going to look up the one girl’s dress! (Or am I just being a pervert? ><)