Update of the past few days.
Man, I just read back and realized like all my entries as of the past two weeks have just been Midnyte posts. I was thinking, I really have not slept in the past two weeks or so since Mid had her first seizure. I just couldn't, every noise I heard I had to be up checking her and everything. It's sad now that she's gone I've actually been catching up on sleep I haven't had in those two weeks. This blows.
I guess I can start with Monday, you guys knew what happened that morning and once we got her to the vet, etc. Wes and I left and I cried the whole way home and could not stop. I didn't have class so that helped, I had to work at 1, so yeah. I got home and the other three were there licking and trying to make me feel better. I'm thankful for them because they have been the best therapy ever. So, I was downstairs just picking some of Mid's stuff up and what not, and I was just so effing sad.
I went to work, my boss knew what was going on, but then proceeded to yell at me like I was a peice of shit because I left like not even 15 minutes early on Friday. Some customer was suppose to show up with money and he hadn't all day, and it wasn't the first time where I stayed later and he never showed. So I just left. Brett said to me, "If you ever pull that shit again on me, you will NOT work here again. Take half-an-hour off your timecard." I was just like, what the fuck ever dude. I will have NO issues walking off from here and laugh when the place falls apart without me because he doesn't know jack shit about computers and everything else around here. I can't wait to move from this town.
Anyways, so when I got home Jimi said, "I don't have any good news to report, I'm sorry Steph." and I was like, "Well, what's up?" and he said, "She's only getting worse...if she doesn't get better, we have to put her down tomorrow morning." and then he just LOST it. And I went down next to him and we just held one another crying. Midnyte was our child...I've also never seen Jimi cry this much ever. Not even when Sabbath passed away. So after that, I ran upstairs to call my mum and I just sat on the phone crying to her. Then we told Wes and Lori together and they were just as heart broken too.
So it was later that night and we were waiting to hear back from the vet and Jimi had a call on his cell phone. I was laying on the couch with Wes, and he came in crying and said, "She passed away...she died, on her own." And Wes sat up and said, "WHAT?" And Jimi was like, "I'm not repeating it Westley!" and he went upstairs and I just started balling. Wes grabbed me and we cried together, and just kept saying, 'It's okay...breath, it's okay...I know." Everyone knows she's the light of my fucking life. She's EVERYTHING to me....I told Wes I wanted to go upstairs with Lori and Jimi and we all sat in this group hug type thing just crying for a good 10-15 minutes.
Jimi said she went peacefully, the vets had come back not even an hour after leaving here and she had gone on her own. And like I've said, we were so thankful she did it on her own... the vet took like an hour before they could even call us because they had loved her so much and I think they needed to get themselves together before she could tell us. They said she had been their "challenge dog" and after everything they did to save her the first time, I know they just wanted to do the same thing this time around too. They don't know what was wrong, and that fucking sucks because I want to know. They really think (and I said it before they did) that it had a lot to do with when she was sick as a puppy. The high fever she had (104-something) could have definitely messed with her brain then, and whatever he mother had given her when they were still in her, etc. There's so many things that we never knew what happened down there before they got them up here. Maybe it should of been a sign that four of her siblings (as far as we know) passed away too.
That or it could of been getting into the mushrooms and apples, we don't know. Apparently her eyes were doing this weird thing that the vet had never seen before. I don't know what that "weird thing" is, but whatever. I really think she had a stroke too, there's no doubt in my mind. She had some many seizures and we don't know what happened while we didn't have her from 4AM till about 8:30-ish. But I'm sure she had one.
I think what I hate is that they had her in a bag, because they didn't know what was wrong with her, they didn't want the dogs to actually be able to touch her just in case it could of been contagious, etc. But the bag was in the shape of her body...I just wish I had gotten to see her see her before we buried her. But she was laying that way she always did when sleeping...just spread out..and that made me happy...because when I saw her her body was so stiff and she couldn't spread out the way she always did. Like this:
That went with Sabbath too, because he couldn't really control how he would lay down when he was put to sleep he was laying the way he always had before then. I had this blanket from high school that had "Goshen" on it with the Gladiator head, etc. It was fleece and I let her sleep with it every night, and that's what I wanted her wrapped in, so she got that ontop of her, how it usually was on her every night. Jimi put her in the hole Lori, Wes, and I had dug and patted her on the side, like usual and I just said, "I love you, babygirl." Scott had brought Phantom over so he could smell and understand where she went and not be lost. Poor dog.
This was kind of funny and ironic when we were digging the hole before Jimi got home, we were putting her next to Sabbath. Wes was digging and he snapped the wire of the electric fence in half. And we started laughing, because Midnyte would ALWAYS run straight through the stupid thing, and this was kind of her last laugh to us saying, "Haha, even when I'm gone I can still get through the stupid thing" So we found that very symbolic and it gave us a laugh while we were digging her grave.
So, it's been really hard. Poor Phantom was waiting outside yesterday out of habit to let Mid out to play with him. He just looked at me through the window with this sad look on and he made me cry, haha. I feel so bad for him. :(
But we're remembering her at her best through pictures I've taken and it makes us smile, and I guess that's all we really can do. She's watching over me and she always will. And she had the biggest chunk of my heart out there and she always will.
Saturday I'm going to price out the tattoo idea and see how much it's going to cost.
Anyways, this is the week from hell and I'll explain that in another entry soon.
Thanks for everything guys...
I guess I can start with Monday, you guys knew what happened that morning and once we got her to the vet, etc. Wes and I left and I cried the whole way home and could not stop. I didn't have class so that helped, I had to work at 1, so yeah. I got home and the other three were there licking and trying to make me feel better. I'm thankful for them because they have been the best therapy ever. So, I was downstairs just picking some of Mid's stuff up and what not, and I was just so effing sad.
I went to work, my boss knew what was going on, but then proceeded to yell at me like I was a peice of shit because I left like not even 15 minutes early on Friday. Some customer was suppose to show up with money and he hadn't all day, and it wasn't the first time where I stayed later and he never showed. So I just left. Brett said to me, "If you ever pull that shit again on me, you will NOT work here again. Take half-an-hour off your timecard." I was just like, what the fuck ever dude. I will have NO issues walking off from here and laugh when the place falls apart without me because he doesn't know jack shit about computers and everything else around here. I can't wait to move from this town.
Anyways, so when I got home Jimi said, "I don't have any good news to report, I'm sorry Steph." and I was like, "Well, what's up?" and he said, "She's only getting worse...if she doesn't get better, we have to put her down tomorrow morning." and then he just LOST it. And I went down next to him and we just held one another crying. Midnyte was our child...I've also never seen Jimi cry this much ever. Not even when Sabbath passed away. So after that, I ran upstairs to call my mum and I just sat on the phone crying to her. Then we told Wes and Lori together and they were just as heart broken too.
So it was later that night and we were waiting to hear back from the vet and Jimi had a call on his cell phone. I was laying on the couch with Wes, and he came in crying and said, "She passed away...she died, on her own." And Wes sat up and said, "WHAT?" And Jimi was like, "I'm not repeating it Westley!" and he went upstairs and I just started balling. Wes grabbed me and we cried together, and just kept saying, 'It's okay...breath, it's okay...I know." Everyone knows she's the light of my fucking life. She's EVERYTHING to me....I told Wes I wanted to go upstairs with Lori and Jimi and we all sat in this group hug type thing just crying for a good 10-15 minutes.
Jimi said she went peacefully, the vets had come back not even an hour after leaving here and she had gone on her own. And like I've said, we were so thankful she did it on her own... the vet took like an hour before they could even call us because they had loved her so much and I think they needed to get themselves together before she could tell us. They said she had been their "challenge dog" and after everything they did to save her the first time, I know they just wanted to do the same thing this time around too. They don't know what was wrong, and that fucking sucks because I want to know. They really think (and I said it before they did) that it had a lot to do with when she was sick as a puppy. The high fever she had (104-something) could have definitely messed with her brain then, and whatever he mother had given her when they were still in her, etc. There's so many things that we never knew what happened down there before they got them up here. Maybe it should of been a sign that four of her siblings (as far as we know) passed away too.
That or it could of been getting into the mushrooms and apples, we don't know. Apparently her eyes were doing this weird thing that the vet had never seen before. I don't know what that "weird thing" is, but whatever. I really think she had a stroke too, there's no doubt in my mind. She had some many seizures and we don't know what happened while we didn't have her from 4AM till about 8:30-ish. But I'm sure she had one.
I think what I hate is that they had her in a bag, because they didn't know what was wrong with her, they didn't want the dogs to actually be able to touch her just in case it could of been contagious, etc. But the bag was in the shape of her body...I just wish I had gotten to see her see her before we buried her. But she was laying that way she always did when sleeping...just spread out..and that made me happy...because when I saw her her body was so stiff and she couldn't spread out the way she always did. Like this:
That went with Sabbath too, because he couldn't really control how he would lay down when he was put to sleep he was laying the way he always had before then. I had this blanket from high school that had "Goshen" on it with the Gladiator head, etc. It was fleece and I let her sleep with it every night, and that's what I wanted her wrapped in, so she got that ontop of her, how it usually was on her every night. Jimi put her in the hole Lori, Wes, and I had dug and patted her on the side, like usual and I just said, "I love you, babygirl." Scott had brought Phantom over so he could smell and understand where she went and not be lost. Poor dog.
This was kind of funny and ironic when we were digging the hole before Jimi got home, we were putting her next to Sabbath. Wes was digging and he snapped the wire of the electric fence in half. And we started laughing, because Midnyte would ALWAYS run straight through the stupid thing, and this was kind of her last laugh to us saying, "Haha, even when I'm gone I can still get through the stupid thing" So we found that very symbolic and it gave us a laugh while we were digging her grave.
So, it's been really hard. Poor Phantom was waiting outside yesterday out of habit to let Mid out to play with him. He just looked at me through the window with this sad look on and he made me cry, haha. I feel so bad for him. :(
But we're remembering her at her best through pictures I've taken and it makes us smile, and I guess that's all we really can do. She's watching over me and she always will. And she had the biggest chunk of my heart out there and she always will.
Saturday I'm going to price out the tattoo idea and see how much it's going to cost.
Anyways, this is the week from hell and I'll explain that in another entry soon.
Thanks for everything guys...