Can't I just have a normal Day?
What is there to say, really? it's 5am on a sunday and my heart rate is 95 beats per minute. >.>; it's been dancing back and forth between a nice 75-80 and a 95-105 for the past 36 hours or so. With that comes wildly fluctuating blood pressure, migraines, palpitation... oh yeah, and the feeling that my heart is running a freaking marathon without me.
Not exactly conducive to resting. I just feel weird. It's uncomfortable. My heart, my chest, my lungs, it's all tired. I want it to slow to a normal pace so I can rest.
I even got all dolled up in lolita, hoping that I would go 'yay I'm cute' and settle down somewhat... which sounds crazy, but.. for some reason it does tend to have that effect.
...totally not working. Instead I traded the classical I was listening to earlier for techno/pop/rock remixes and I'm cleaning my room at a panic-pace.
...probably horrible for my heart, but I feel slightly better moving when it's going so fast. it just feels more right >.<;
I'd work on programing, but I can't really see the screen well. my vision is all glowy and milky and full of spots. So useful... not :x
Today wasn't particularly bad, mind you. Slept late in the morning since I was up half the night with the migraine from hell... followed by a sane and normal day at work. I even got to pick out a DVD under $15 as a reward from my manager for doing well last month ( :shiny: :heart: :heart: :heart: you mean, I did good? you likes me? I'm ok? :shiny: ) I got X-men... One of the guys in electronics department kinda laughed at me because it's such an old title, but really, honestly, I'm kinda odd like that. I like some stories, and when I like a story, I really like it; it's like... it's a bit of... home to me. In all honesty, I was torn between that, and Practical Magic. I don't know what it is, but the story of X-men has always fascinated me... and I'm not normally THAT big into super hero stories that don't involve fluffy skirts and fantastical, girly, costumes... and even then, it needs to have the right story level.
Speaking of movies, a part of me really wants to see the Alice in Wonderland movie that came out recently. Mayhaps I'll rent it at some point? hmm... It's been forever since I went to see a movie. I'm not big on theaters by myself; something about them seems so... lonely... in a way that most things don't. I like going places alone, usually. I like to shop by myself, explore by myself, etc. But theaters... just are off somehow in a way that stage performances, or musical performances aren't.
Speaking of going alone, a part of me wants to just catch a train to New York for a day trip sometime, but I don't think I could get away with it. Too many people freak out when I try to go to the supermarket alone, let alone the Big Apple. Ah well, a girl can dream, right?
That's the thing that sucks about not knowing anyone. I can't escape to explore at all. Even if I had someone else I could go places with, I could always run ahead for a moment, stop behind for a moment, just a moment, not long enough to get lost... though I never get lost from people. *laughs* that would be the day!
Not exactly conducive to resting. I just feel weird. It's uncomfortable. My heart, my chest, my lungs, it's all tired. I want it to slow to a normal pace so I can rest.
I even got all dolled up in lolita, hoping that I would go 'yay I'm cute' and settle down somewhat... which sounds crazy, but.. for some reason it does tend to have that effect.
...totally not working. Instead I traded the classical I was listening to earlier for techno/pop/rock remixes and I'm cleaning my room at a panic-pace.
...probably horrible for my heart, but I feel slightly better moving when it's going so fast. it just feels more right >.<;
I'd work on programing, but I can't really see the screen well. my vision is all glowy and milky and full of spots. So useful... not :x
Today wasn't particularly bad, mind you. Slept late in the morning since I was up half the night with the migraine from hell... followed by a sane and normal day at work. I even got to pick out a DVD under $15 as a reward from my manager for doing well last month ( :shiny: :heart: :heart: :heart: you mean, I did good? you likes me? I'm ok? :shiny: ) I got X-men... One of the guys in electronics department kinda laughed at me because it's such an old title, but really, honestly, I'm kinda odd like that. I like some stories, and when I like a story, I really like it; it's like... it's a bit of... home to me. In all honesty, I was torn between that, and Practical Magic. I don't know what it is, but the story of X-men has always fascinated me... and I'm not normally THAT big into super hero stories that don't involve fluffy skirts and fantastical, girly, costumes... and even then, it needs to have the right story level.
Speaking of movies, a part of me really wants to see the Alice in Wonderland movie that came out recently. Mayhaps I'll rent it at some point? hmm... It's been forever since I went to see a movie. I'm not big on theaters by myself; something about them seems so... lonely... in a way that most things don't. I like going places alone, usually. I like to shop by myself, explore by myself, etc. But theaters... just are off somehow in a way that stage performances, or musical performances aren't.
Speaking of going alone, a part of me wants to just catch a train to New York for a day trip sometime, but I don't think I could get away with it. Too many people freak out when I try to go to the supermarket alone, let alone the Big Apple. Ah well, a girl can dream, right?
That's the thing that sucks about not knowing anyone. I can't escape to explore at all. Even if I had someone else I could go places with, I could always run ahead for a moment, stop behind for a moment, just a moment, not long enough to get lost... though I never get lost from people. *laughs* that would be the day!