hot boyfriend & car crash

[rainea]

well fuckin a, i start almost every post with how i never write in this thing. last time i updated was basically to write about how i have a boyfriend and how he makes me happy, we've been together for 19 months and i'm in love it's pretty fucking awesome, it's not the type of love where i lose my mind every second of every day (i do lose my mind every second of every day but not because i'm in love it's cuz i'm in my own way and i dont i know how to get out) and etc etc blah blah blah and i still have the same guy and he still makes me happy and i think he may know me better than me and that's some sad fucking shit. i lost my job on may 29th, i worked for a nonprofit organization, i was doing quite well, making enough money to commute to NYC from long island and have the commute be worth it, so i was living the sweet life for 14 months, saving up money so i can buy a house and sleep next to my boyfriend without receiving any grief from my parents. i sleep at his house on the weekends he lives with his folks too but they seem to be a hell of a lot less sexually conservative than my folks. it's funny tho cuz i can do almost anything i want at my house (well shit i'd hope so since i'm 24 going on 25 years old... that's crazy, i've had this livejournal account since i was 16...) man i just had a craving for cornbread, if i wasn't drunk and if my car wasn't in the repair shop i'd go find me some cornbread. damn it. i wouldn't be drunk if my car wasn't in the shop. the other day, probably like a week ago i rear ended a school bus and i'm fine & the other driver is fine, and there were NO KIDS on the bus, i'm counting my blessings for that-- no lawsuits from angry parents! and forget the guilt trip if i hurt a kid. anyway it would suck a hell of a lot less if i had a job to pay me $500 deductible, all it would do is set me back a week. but now i have more bills oh it's so annoying back when i had a job and health insurance (health insurance is anything but, oh dont get me started), i needed a root canal but apparently my insurance company considered it a "major procedure," and they don't cover their customers for "major procedures" so i was out $1,300 it pisses me off to no end because i'm saving up for a house and i'm nowhere near where i'd like to be so that $1.3K would have been really helpful in goin towards buyin a home and i'm fairly sure that the CEO of aetna probably has a house so what the fuck is his corporations and his filthy fuckin cronies going to do with my hard-earned $1,300. fucking greedy dipshits, next time they need a root canal i hope the endodontist doesn't use any novocaine because the pain they feel in the pulps of their teeth and in their gums and jaws would be equivalent to the rage i feel towards them.

i'm not bitter or anything