growing, changing, becoming better
Out of no where, today I realized as I drove home how incredible blessed I am. I have parents in my life who have always supported me. I've usually had friends that I can count on, and who will listen to me when I need it the most. I've built myself up from nothing into something that I am proud of (relatively) and my parents and friends are proud of. I think I realized that all this has happened, due mainly to my attitude. If I have nothing else, my self-motivation and attitude toward life has always pulled me through the roughest times. This student teaching experience has really made me aware of it. Coming into elementary teaching, I was scared out of my wits. I've never known how to act around little kids, and I sure as hell was not excited to learn. But I have learned! I now feel confident that I could walk into any elementary classroom with a plan and put it into action, and know how to discipline kids! I am so much more comfortable now than I was even a couple weeks ago. It literally has taken the entire 8 weeks of teaching to get me to that place, and I'm so glad that I've done this. This has been the most valuable experience I have had, maybe even since I've been at college....maybe ever. I feel like I've come so far from where I was...I've grown so much, and I feel lik ea completely different person. College is really fun, but it's so different from the real world. I feel like my hand has been held for my entire life, and now I'm out there (in the working world) and having to do things for myself and having to be responsible for other people, instead of just taking care of myself. It's scary and intimidating and exhilirating all at once. I think God is truly looking out for me. Teaching in a classroom, kids will eat you alive if you haven't had any experience. I know because I've been there. I've been eaten, chewed, spit back out and I'm still here, and I'm still ready to do it some more. I feel so much better about teaching at the college level, even if I've just gotten to high school students so far. I don't have any doubts that if I had gone through school without student teaching, got my masters and then got my doctorate, and got a job right off teaching in college, I would fail miserably the first year or so (or at the least it would be a very very tough year). I cannot even express how much I've learned! I think next fall I'm going to ask Dr. Estrin if I can teach the clarinet methods class...then I will get college experience! I need as much of this as possible!
So, I'm actually sad to be leaving a lot of these kids. I've come so far with them and they are really attached to me. The kids I never imagined liked me (because I yelled at them so much for not following directions) were the ones that were the most sad that I was leaving. Kids are so weird! Ultimately, I think they need discipline. It keeps them honest. And I've gotten much better at crackign the whip when I have to.
I went to Patrick Henry today and met my high school teacher there. She's really cool and I think we already feel really comfortable with each other. I even met some of the kids and they seem like really nice kids. She doesn't have a lot of issues with discipline (which is such a relief to me because I hate doing that!) I got more and more excited each minute I was there, and I have a really good feeling about high school teaching. They are going to play Candide in the spring!!!!! I flipped out. I'm really excited...what a fantastic piece! And she said she has really good woodwind players and some all-state horn kids, soooo I think it will be awesome. She has a jazz band too, and I'm definitely not going to let myself be intimidated by a jazz band (because I always have been even though I've been in them). I'm determined to throw myself in there and do as much as I can.
So, I'm actually sad to be leaving a lot of these kids. I've come so far with them and they are really attached to me. The kids I never imagined liked me (because I yelled at them so much for not following directions) were the ones that were the most sad that I was leaving. Kids are so weird! Ultimately, I think they need discipline. It keeps them honest. And I've gotten much better at crackign the whip when I have to.
I went to Patrick Henry today and met my high school teacher there. She's really cool and I think we already feel really comfortable with each other. I even met some of the kids and they seem like really nice kids. She doesn't have a lot of issues with discipline (which is such a relief to me because I hate doing that!) I got more and more excited each minute I was there, and I have a really good feeling about high school teaching. They are going to play Candide in the spring!!!!! I flipped out. I'm really excited...what a fantastic piece! And she said she has really good woodwind players and some all-state horn kids, soooo I think it will be awesome. She has a jazz band too, and I'm definitely not going to let myself be intimidated by a jazz band (because I always have been even though I've been in them). I'm determined to throw myself in there and do as much as I can.