friends=love
It's kind of scary when you realize that you have entered into a new phase of your life. I think it's even more scary when it hits you all at once, and the transition isn't really a transition, but more of a violent shove into the real world. I'm mostly in the real world now, and it scared the hell out of me. This week has been the after-shock. I am learning how to deal effectively with the kids, and I'm not so horrified anymore. When I see them lining up outside the door to come in, I still want to run away screaming more than anything else, and I don't know when or if this will change.
Kids are often my worst nightmare.
There are moments when I really enjoy teaching them...like when I calm down and stop being so frantic and feeling like every second I'm going to lose their attention. When I don't feel like I have to perform somersaults and cartwheels to entertain them. When they listen to me and are excited! But most of the time, I would rather be doing something else. I've come to this realization happily, and with no regret. I had the feeling that this age group just wasn't for me...and now I know. I can't say for certain yet that I am completely ruling it out...but I'm pretty sure that I do not want to teach elementary aged kids for a long period in my life (and by long, I mean more than these few weeks). Thank God for the staff and my teacher...they are wonderful and I really enjoy them.
I saw people in the PAC today when I went to visit DW. It was REALLY good to see people...familiar faces and people that mean so much to me. People that I MISS TERRIBLY. However, it was also a moment that hit me---a moment of "Wow this is really strange, it's seems like I'm a completely different person than I was...how can I be this changed?" and "Wow things that seem so important to them and were once important to me are not so much anymore" and "Oh my gosh I'm not the student anymore...I'm the one in charge. I'm responsible and I have to be a leader and I can't just decide not to go to school."
Trust me, it's terrifying.
It was really good to see people. I miss everyone so much.
My reeds are mega-horrible and have been for several days and I have to record this weekend. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do. Starting to freak out. I have my Northwestern audition in a week too (really freaking out). I wasn't going to tell Adrian because it's pointless...I will be there 1 day that I have to spend on the campus, so there isn't really any time. Apparently Helen told him though, and he called me all excited and told me he is going to pick me up at the airport and then he's dragging me out after my audition to see Chicago. I'm very grateful to have someone who knows the city...and I am REALLY looking forward to seeing him. Adrian is a really really good friend...one of those friends who you know you can not talk to for a long time and when you do you can just pick up where you left off...it's so nice to have a friend like that. You can tell he genuinely loves his friends too. I'm so lucky to know people like that! So YAY for that. The funniest part was when he said, "I know you Bushey...you weren't going to call me and you were going to stay sitting in your hotel room being introverted and not go out and enjoy the city. So we are going out, you have no choice!" hahah I get so tickled when people KNOW that that's what I do.
So that's my exciting story! Alright I'm going to go read. Night my loves!
Kids are often my worst nightmare.
There are moments when I really enjoy teaching them...like when I calm down and stop being so frantic and feeling like every second I'm going to lose their attention. When I don't feel like I have to perform somersaults and cartwheels to entertain them. When they listen to me and are excited! But most of the time, I would rather be doing something else. I've come to this realization happily, and with no regret. I had the feeling that this age group just wasn't for me...and now I know. I can't say for certain yet that I am completely ruling it out...but I'm pretty sure that I do not want to teach elementary aged kids for a long period in my life (and by long, I mean more than these few weeks). Thank God for the staff and my teacher...they are wonderful and I really enjoy them.
I saw people in the PAC today when I went to visit DW. It was REALLY good to see people...familiar faces and people that mean so much to me. People that I MISS TERRIBLY. However, it was also a moment that hit me---a moment of "Wow this is really strange, it's seems like I'm a completely different person than I was...how can I be this changed?" and "Wow things that seem so important to them and were once important to me are not so much anymore" and "Oh my gosh I'm not the student anymore...I'm the one in charge. I'm responsible and I have to be a leader and I can't just decide not to go to school."
Trust me, it's terrifying.
It was really good to see people. I miss everyone so much.
My reeds are mega-horrible and have been for several days and I have to record this weekend. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do. Starting to freak out. I have my Northwestern audition in a week too (really freaking out). I wasn't going to tell Adrian because it's pointless...I will be there 1 day that I have to spend on the campus, so there isn't really any time. Apparently Helen told him though, and he called me all excited and told me he is going to pick me up at the airport and then he's dragging me out after my audition to see Chicago. I'm very grateful to have someone who knows the city...and I am REALLY looking forward to seeing him. Adrian is a really really good friend...one of those friends who you know you can not talk to for a long time and when you do you can just pick up where you left off...it's so nice to have a friend like that. You can tell he genuinely loves his friends too. I'm so lucky to know people like that! So YAY for that. The funniest part was when he said, "I know you Bushey...you weren't going to call me and you were going to stay sitting in your hotel room being introverted and not go out and enjoy the city. So we are going out, you have no choice!" hahah I get so tickled when people KNOW that that's what I do.
So that's my exciting story! Alright I'm going to go read. Night my loves!