all there needs to be - reita-centric - oneshot
Title: all there needs to be is nothing
Chapters: Oneshot
Author: raindigo
Genre: Drama, slight romance and angst, character death.
Warnings: Death yet a happy ending?
Rating: PG-13, purely for the cursing.
Pairings/Characters: Reita POV, Reita-centric. Uruha/Reita, past Miyavi/Kai.
Synopsis: If Death offers him a fall of broken images, he'll take it. Recounting the best moments of his life, Reita waits for the perfect one to come along.
Comments: First shot at character death in this fandom. Plus, this was the only muse functioning. Reincarnation!muse and SKYDIVE!muse poked their heads to tease me this morning, but didn't stay around. Sorry for the lack of activity. I'm trying to assemble my life xD
all there needs to be is nothing
He's sprawled on the ground, gravel digging mercilessly into his back, but that's not the pain he notices. A lake of crimson spreads around him, like a bed of roses, a sheet of wrapping paper, and the searing, white, acute, unbearable pain of crushed bones and cracked skulls sends his senses reeling over the edge. It's everywhere; ripping at his lungs, crawling up his spine, tearing the soft tissue of his skin, pounding at his head and it hurtshurtshurtshurts so much he thinks he's forgetting a world without pain.
But since pain is everything right now, it is nothing as well.
He's glad that he's immune to the physical part, at least.
They say that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes. At what lightning speeds does it pass, then, to have a whole lifetime worth of happenings emerge and drag him on a parade down memory lane? That's why Reita's always believed 'life flashing before your eyes' is merely a souped up version of the much more realistic 'fall of broken photographs'. Because he's never been very fond of cameras, though he's a rock star and constantly exposed to their flashes, he heavily relies on his memories to recall a person or event.
If it is a fall of broken images Death is offering him, he'll take it. Better than agonizing, alone, spread out on the street, his guts falling out, and concentrating on the horrified screams of the small crowd gathered around him. His motorcycle must be in pieces if the woman horsely whispering 'oh my god it's terrible i can see inside his stomach' is telling the truth.
If he could choose which photographs to take with him to the afterlife, he may need some time making up his mind. His life has been full, you see, and happy, and he doesn't really have anything to regret.
Which ones?
Maybe:
That time early on in the band, when Ruki came tumbling through his door at an ungodly hour of the morning because he hadn't paid his rent in months and the landlord was after his head. He crashed on the couch, in the end, but not after a tug-o-war of 'no you no me no you no me' over the bed. Reita woke up to the smell of his kitchen burning to the ground and could never have been more grateful when, finally, Kai joined the band and proved to be a decent cook. Though he still teases him about it, because pride is pride and he needs to be manly.
Maybe:
That one time in middle school, when they'd lost an important match against an opposing team, and he was so frustrated he spit into his hand, quite subtly he may boast, before shaking those of his opponents. He received a scalding glare from Kouyou, who'd seen the whole process, and afterwards got beat up in the changing room by said-best-friend. Then they washed up and went home and Akira owned him at a first person shooter. Because hey, that's what best friends were for, right? Knocking sense into each other and brains out.
Or:
That winter afternoon when Aoi had abruptly run out of cigarettes during break from band practice and he ordered Reita to run to the nearest convenience store and buy some. He had no fucking idea why he obeyed, but the point is the store had no cigarettes of Aoi's brand, so he bought a different pack. Aoi was pissed because he 'didn't smoke other shit than the one he did' and somehow that little statement exploded into a full-blown argument, mushroom-cloud and cold-shoulders and all. In the end, the guitarist got him a box of chocolates, nevermind cheap, and they made up. Because bandmates were brothers, and no one could stay mad long enough at Aoi.
Maybe:
That time when he was six and scraped his knee learning to ride a bike, and his big sister had given him her portion of dango after his mother had bandaged him 'all well' again. Three days later, he proudly flew down the street like he owned the place, and waved as he laughed, 'No hands!; at his mortified family standing on the porch, where they watched him disappear around the corner, race-car-red bicycle gleaming under summer sunlight.
Or:
That time Kai had driven all the way to Reita's in the middle of the godforsaken night, the eve of their departure for a big performance otherwise known as their first Budokan concert, because he'd just broken up with Uruha over ex-lovers of all things and needed company. Instead of alcohol, Kai dished out his spectacular French toast, and then the next day when Uruha came crawling back to his doorstep despite manly pride and all that shit, Reita was more than willing to take him back. Lots of making out ensued, until Aoi basically smashed the car horn to tell them to hurry the fuck up, and then the world was fine. Whatever Kai said about it, they needed a mother figure amongst these rowdy toddlers.
Maybe:
That time after high school graduation, when Kouyou had announced that he wasn't continuing to college, that he was planning to join a band and become famous, and at first Akira had stared at him in bewilderment but ended up following suit anyways. A few months later, his best friend tucked safely against his chest, the covers drawn around them, he rocked them to sleep while promising that they were going to make it, that they weren't going to give up, that no one could stop them, and for once he believed more than Kouyou did. Fast forward a decade and Gazette had proven them right. And they didn't just make it; they made it big time.
Or:
That time Ruki decided to cheer everyone up and erase their sour expressions with glasses of lemonade (oh the irony) but failed miserably, having added salt instead of sugar, and they spent the next few hours rinsing the fetid taste out of their mouths. Later on, reflecting back, they had a good laugh, and that's when their vocalist decided to start a 'Band Diary', where he kept track of all their crazy shenanigans. Reita thinks it would be a good opportunity to borrow it, now.
Maybe:
That time on the soccer field, where Uruha had dragged Reita directly after they were dismissed from band practice, and, whipping out a bouquet of roses and a goofy smile from thin air, proceeded to confess that Reita was 'the object of his undying love' and asked him to 'please spend the rest of eternity' by his side. Reita had blinked, many many times, and then laughed, uncontrollable, before Uruha shut him up with their first kiss. It was hilariously romantic and, he had to admit, he would have had it no other way.
Or:
That time when Kai busted a tire and his three-years-but-no-longer-counting relationship with Miyavi after the latter had announced his marriage (the worst part wasn't that, it was their drummer discovering this byway of the rock scene grapevine instead of from the man himself), and he'd sat down on the sidewalk and called Reita to vent until six in the morning. Ultimately, Reita didn't help at all, since he wasn't exactly the best person to come running to when you had emotional burdens to lighten (you went to Ruki for that), but he was a good listener and hoped that it would prove to be enough. Kai forgot about the damn bastard in five months, which was record time, mind you, since it was hard avoiding Miyavi's face when they were in the same circle of business as him, and moved on to date the pretty girl working at a restaurant near his apartment. Sure, that involvement didn't last as long as his previous one, but it had helped patch their drummer up, and that was all that mattered.
Or:
That time at Tokyo Dome, when they'd all held hands and just jumped.
Or:
That time when the lot of them had gone on vacation to the seaside and unwound; over walks on the beach and stargazing, over deep-into-the-night drinking sessions and fooling around. When they weren't Ruki and Uruha and Aoi and Reita and Kai and Gazette but Takanori and Kouyou and Yuu and Akira and Yutaka and just five friends who wanted to have fun.
Or--
But time is running out. The paramedics are here, ambulance sirens wailing, police lights whirling, foreign hands trying to save his mangled body, soon-to-be-corpse, and suddenly he's thinking of them, Takanori and Kouyou and Yuu and Yutaka, and how they would no longer be just five friends who wanted to have fun, but he doesn't want regrets, doesn't want to leave anything sad behind--
A picture flashes before his eyes, strangely familiar, but he's sure he's never seen it before.
This:
Five shadows stretching long behind five figures sitting, shoulder to shoulder, elbow to elbow, on a hill, the setting sun framing their forms with incandescent halos, and all he can see are their backs but Reita can feel them smiling, hear the laughter chiming in the air, and they look happy.
He lets out a shuddery breath, his last, and shuts his eyelids, because he's tired and sleep is calling him, perhaps.
If Death is offering him a fall of broken images, then no, he'd refuse her kind proposition, because he'd rather keep his memories whole and unbroken, thank you.
And he's happy, and there's no pain, and the warmth is everywhere, everything, the inexistent sky and his unfeeling toes trapped in the prison of not-needed-never-again-needed shoes, and when something is everything then everything is nothing, and
All there needs to be is nothing.
The paramedic takes a second to mumble through her mask, "He's smiling."
there are no endings
A/N: the number of typos I find upon rereading is astounding and sickening. In dire need of a beta...
Chapters: Oneshot
Author: raindigo
Genre: Drama, slight romance and angst, character death.
Warnings: Death yet a happy ending?
Rating: PG-13, purely for the cursing.
Pairings/Characters: Reita POV, Reita-centric. Uruha/Reita, past Miyavi/Kai.
Synopsis: If Death offers him a fall of broken images, he'll take it. Recounting the best moments of his life, Reita waits for the perfect one to come along.
Comments: First shot at character death in this fandom. Plus, this was the only muse functioning. Reincarnation!muse and SKYDIVE!muse poked their heads to tease me this morning, but didn't stay around. Sorry for the lack of activity. I'm trying to assemble my life xD
all there needs to be is nothing
He's sprawled on the ground, gravel digging mercilessly into his back, but that's not the pain he notices. A lake of crimson spreads around him, like a bed of roses, a sheet of wrapping paper, and the searing, white, acute, unbearable pain of crushed bones and cracked skulls sends his senses reeling over the edge. It's everywhere; ripping at his lungs, crawling up his spine, tearing the soft tissue of his skin, pounding at his head and it hurtshurtshurtshurts so much he thinks he's forgetting a world without pain.
But since pain is everything right now, it is nothing as well.
He's glad that he's immune to the physical part, at least.
They say that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes. At what lightning speeds does it pass, then, to have a whole lifetime worth of happenings emerge and drag him on a parade down memory lane? That's why Reita's always believed 'life flashing before your eyes' is merely a souped up version of the much more realistic 'fall of broken photographs'. Because he's never been very fond of cameras, though he's a rock star and constantly exposed to their flashes, he heavily relies on his memories to recall a person or event.
If it is a fall of broken images Death is offering him, he'll take it. Better than agonizing, alone, spread out on the street, his guts falling out, and concentrating on the horrified screams of the small crowd gathered around him. His motorcycle must be in pieces if the woman horsely whispering 'oh my god it's terrible i can see inside his stomach' is telling the truth.
If he could choose which photographs to take with him to the afterlife, he may need some time making up his mind. His life has been full, you see, and happy, and he doesn't really have anything to regret.
Which ones?
Maybe:
That time early on in the band, when Ruki came tumbling through his door at an ungodly hour of the morning because he hadn't paid his rent in months and the landlord was after his head. He crashed on the couch, in the end, but not after a tug-o-war of 'no you no me no you no me' over the bed. Reita woke up to the smell of his kitchen burning to the ground and could never have been more grateful when, finally, Kai joined the band and proved to be a decent cook. Though he still teases him about it, because pride is pride and he needs to be manly.
Maybe:
That one time in middle school, when they'd lost an important match against an opposing team, and he was so frustrated he spit into his hand, quite subtly he may boast, before shaking those of his opponents. He received a scalding glare from Kouyou, who'd seen the whole process, and afterwards got beat up in the changing room by said-best-friend. Then they washed up and went home and Akira owned him at a first person shooter. Because hey, that's what best friends were for, right? Knocking sense into each other and brains out.
Or:
That winter afternoon when Aoi had abruptly run out of cigarettes during break from band practice and he ordered Reita to run to the nearest convenience store and buy some. He had no fucking idea why he obeyed, but the point is the store had no cigarettes of Aoi's brand, so he bought a different pack. Aoi was pissed because he 'didn't smoke other shit than the one he did' and somehow that little statement exploded into a full-blown argument, mushroom-cloud and cold-shoulders and all. In the end, the guitarist got him a box of chocolates, nevermind cheap, and they made up. Because bandmates were brothers, and no one could stay mad long enough at Aoi.
Maybe:
That time when he was six and scraped his knee learning to ride a bike, and his big sister had given him her portion of dango after his mother had bandaged him 'all well' again. Three days later, he proudly flew down the street like he owned the place, and waved as he laughed, 'No hands!; at his mortified family standing on the porch, where they watched him disappear around the corner, race-car-red bicycle gleaming under summer sunlight.
Or:
That time Kai had driven all the way to Reita's in the middle of the godforsaken night, the eve of their departure for a big performance otherwise known as their first Budokan concert, because he'd just broken up with Uruha over ex-lovers of all things and needed company. Instead of alcohol, Kai dished out his spectacular French toast, and then the next day when Uruha came crawling back to his doorstep despite manly pride and all that shit, Reita was more than willing to take him back. Lots of making out ensued, until Aoi basically smashed the car horn to tell them to hurry the fuck up, and then the world was fine. Whatever Kai said about it, they needed a mother figure amongst these rowdy toddlers.
Maybe:
That time after high school graduation, when Kouyou had announced that he wasn't continuing to college, that he was planning to join a band and become famous, and at first Akira had stared at him in bewilderment but ended up following suit anyways. A few months later, his best friend tucked safely against his chest, the covers drawn around them, he rocked them to sleep while promising that they were going to make it, that they weren't going to give up, that no one could stop them, and for once he believed more than Kouyou did. Fast forward a decade and Gazette had proven them right. And they didn't just make it; they made it big time.
Or:
That time Ruki decided to cheer everyone up and erase their sour expressions with glasses of lemonade (oh the irony) but failed miserably, having added salt instead of sugar, and they spent the next few hours rinsing the fetid taste out of their mouths. Later on, reflecting back, they had a good laugh, and that's when their vocalist decided to start a 'Band Diary', where he kept track of all their crazy shenanigans. Reita thinks it would be a good opportunity to borrow it, now.
Maybe:
That time on the soccer field, where Uruha had dragged Reita directly after they were dismissed from band practice, and, whipping out a bouquet of roses and a goofy smile from thin air, proceeded to confess that Reita was 'the object of his undying love' and asked him to 'please spend the rest of eternity' by his side. Reita had blinked, many many times, and then laughed, uncontrollable, before Uruha shut him up with their first kiss. It was hilariously romantic and, he had to admit, he would have had it no other way.
Or:
That time when Kai busted a tire and his three-years-but-no-longer-counting relationship with Miyavi after the latter had announced his marriage (the worst part wasn't that, it was their drummer discovering this byway of the rock scene grapevine instead of from the man himself), and he'd sat down on the sidewalk and called Reita to vent until six in the morning. Ultimately, Reita didn't help at all, since he wasn't exactly the best person to come running to when you had emotional burdens to lighten (you went to Ruki for that), but he was a good listener and hoped that it would prove to be enough. Kai forgot about the damn bastard in five months, which was record time, mind you, since it was hard avoiding Miyavi's face when they were in the same circle of business as him, and moved on to date the pretty girl working at a restaurant near his apartment. Sure, that involvement didn't last as long as his previous one, but it had helped patch their drummer up, and that was all that mattered.
Or:
That time at Tokyo Dome, when they'd all held hands and just jumped.
Or:
That time when the lot of them had gone on vacation to the seaside and unwound; over walks on the beach and stargazing, over deep-into-the-night drinking sessions and fooling around. When they weren't Ruki and Uruha and Aoi and Reita and Kai and Gazette but Takanori and Kouyou and Yuu and Akira and Yutaka and just five friends who wanted to have fun.
Or--
But time is running out. The paramedics are here, ambulance sirens wailing, police lights whirling, foreign hands trying to save his mangled body, soon-to-be-corpse, and suddenly he's thinking of them, Takanori and Kouyou and Yuu and Yutaka, and how they would no longer be just five friends who wanted to have fun, but he doesn't want regrets, doesn't want to leave anything sad behind--
A picture flashes before his eyes, strangely familiar, but he's sure he's never seen it before.
This:
Five shadows stretching long behind five figures sitting, shoulder to shoulder, elbow to elbow, on a hill, the setting sun framing their forms with incandescent halos, and all he can see are their backs but Reita can feel them smiling, hear the laughter chiming in the air, and they look happy.
He lets out a shuddery breath, his last, and shuts his eyelids, because he's tired and sleep is calling him, perhaps.
If Death is offering him a fall of broken images, then no, he'd refuse her kind proposition, because he'd rather keep his memories whole and unbroken, thank you.
And he's happy, and there's no pain, and the warmth is everywhere, everything, the inexistent sky and his unfeeling toes trapped in the prison of not-needed-never-again-needed shoes, and when something is everything then everything is nothing, and
All there needs to be is nothing.
The paramedic takes a second to mumble through her mask, "He's smiling."
there are no endings
A/N: the number of typos I find upon rereading is astounding and sickening. In dire need of a beta...