KakaIta (The horror O.o)
Tis mah KakaIta entry.... not anywhere near done. I had to write this as an.,.. initiation of sorts. If anyone has any suggestions, give me a buzz, kay? The formatting's all funked up.
//Sakura! Sasuke! Naruto! Kakashi!//
//Sakura! Sasuke! Naruto! Kakashi!//
-
("Time for beeeeeeed."
"Uh, I don't think so. Eighteen, not eight, remember?"
"You have your medical exam tomorrow, and you need all the sleep you can get, my little failure's of medical students."
"Um hello, my nails aren't dry yet, you retard!"
"What, no bedtime story? Psh."
"Yeah, like duh Kakashi. Where's the bedtime story? I want you to tell me the one about you and Itachi."
"Naruto, I don't have a clue what you're talking about. Who is this 'you' you speak of? However, I DO know the story of the devilshly good looking Hatake Kakashi and Itachi."
"Do it and die."
"Once upon a time...")
--
Buckle up, we're in for a bumpy landing.
Death from in embarrsment in:
Five
Four
Three...
..
-
Haruno Sakura: Enter stage right.
Uchiha Sasuke: Seated, right wing.
Uzumaki Naruto: Standing, left wing.
Hatake Kakashi: Centre wing.
(You fail at stage directions.)
(Act I)
.
"Um."
"I'm sorry, but you're going to have to expand on that."
"Um. Um. Um."
"Sakura, what is it?"
"YOU'RE PREGNANT!" The pinkette declared with vigor, waving the medeical chart theatrically in the air, much to the silver haired man's chagrin, prompting a groan and a laugh from her two male companions.
"Who's the father?" Enter: Uzumaki Naruto. Snort.
"Sakura." Kakashi snatched up the girl's wrist, leveling her gaze. "I'm not pregnant."
"Oh, thank god." The chart hastily found it's place on the floor and the girl turned to the collection of equally sized charts the blonde male clutched in his arms. "Naruto, do the honors."
"Alright. Anky-, er Ankylos, Anysing spoondytits?"
"Ankylosing spondylitis" Enter: Uchiha Sasuke offered moodily, casting a dark glance in the man's direction. "Sound familiar?"
"How can you even pronounce that?"
Shaking his head disbelivingly, Kakashi sighed. "No, I don't."
"Trichomoniasis!" Sakura piped up, pointing to a fresh chart.
"Uh yeah, Trichomoniasis right back at you." His merriment was met with a large 'Thwack!' (cueing the bombardment of many soft toys.)
"No, silly. You could have that!" The girl groused. "Actually, you could have any one of these. Alright, I give up."
"You three." The man gave his best TV lawyer! Impersonation, rising from the makeshift hospital bed rigged in the living room, over the coffee table. "Are the worst medical students I've ever seen."
"You're not even a doctor!" The brunette snarled, taking the insult to (his ice bitch-esque) heart, taking a hearty swing from the vodka bottle clutched in his off-hand. "God, this sucks."
(shit)
-
("I do NOT sound like that."
Snigger "You kind of- Ow! Shit man. Not my fault you aren't enjoying the story of how Kakashi banged your-OW!"
"Sakura, do the honors?"
"My pleasure!" Smack.
"Fuck! Stop! This is child abuse."
"Quite you guys, we're getting to the best part."
-
"I'm boreeeeed."
"Yes." The silver haired man peered at Naruto from behind the orange book. "You've mentioned that. Several times."
"But its true!"
"Yes." The book was closed with a regretful sigh. "You've also mentioned that."
Shriek. The small state of peace that Kakashi had worked so hard to mantain shattered with the entrance of the brunette, pulling a near-hysterical girl along with him"Oh my god, noooo. No! Nonononono-"
"Yes Sakura, its unfortunate, but-"
"Unfortunate? its fucking dead! It's more then unfortunate."
"Not from where I'm standin- Ow!"
Sakura strode up to Kakashi, waving what he could only assume was half of a (painted red?) blackberry in the air. "Its dead! The one thing I loved in this world, gone."
"Oh lord.." Naruto's face became a sheer mask of terror "They banned pornography?"
The brunette offered Naruto a pained look as Sakura turned on him, eyes watering dramatically. "Funny. Sasuke stepped on my red blackberry."
"Actually, its a black blackberry painted red, but-" Kakashi tried to intervene inbetween his squabbling charges, but a quick glare silenced him. Sakura turned on the brunette angrily, jabbing him squarely in the chest (there was going to be a hell of a bruise there tomorrow.)
"You. Killed. It. you asshole!"
Two heads immeaditely turned to the brunette, who groaned audibly. "What?"
"Come rich boy, pay up!" Naruto demanded, hands held out.
"Like hell. The idea is fucking stupid, anyway."
"Fine, Mr. Snooty. Don't, pay up. You can wipe an illusions of sex out of your ass hole mind."
"Sakura, we've never had sex. Cell-i-bacy?"
(ugh)
"You're ass is sooooo sleeping on the couch tonight."
"Here's a good idea. Why don't I just sleep, in my bed? Since when did we share a bed, anyway?"
"Gah, Sasuke, quit screwing everything with your logic you jerk-off!"
Sigh. "Alright, I'll pay half, okay? Calm down."
"Thaaaaank you Sasuke-kun."
"Dude, you're dating a pscyho, you know that?"
And that, was how Haruno Sakura got her way (in style.)
("How the fuck do you know that?"
"Sasuke, I posess many skills similair to those of the shinobi. It is really no-"
"STALKERSTALKERSTALKER!"
"Of course, a lot of it I merely assumed."
"You assumed thing about my sex life?!"
"So, the hero of the story was unknowingly sent into enemy terriotory by three scheming sex-deprived pixies-"
"Woot, pixie! Alrighttttt!")
("OMG, STOP RIGHT THERE!"
"Sakura, I'm disapointed. You're failure as a perverted fangirl is very disapointing."
"Usually, I'd be all over two guys" (Naruto, Sasuke WINKWINK) "Making out. But as soon as anybody says 'Itachi' I immeadiately think of 'Sasuke'."
EWWW!
"Sakura, I will shower you with affection if you kill me right now.")
-
(Act III)
Hatake Kakashi: Stage right, by the car.
Haruno Sakura: Off stage, audio through phone.
Uchiha Itachi: Stage right, molesting Kakashi.
(You still suck :D :D :D)
Giving the all too eager Uchiha a apprehensive glance, Kakashi flinched inward at how-
(Bitchy. Dastardly. Stupid. Life-wrecking.)
-happy his student's tone was. “Huuuuuuuullo Kakashi-sensei!”
“Sakura, there is a guy standing two meters away from me who is probably planning to jump me at any minute. Explain, please."
".....Is he hot?"
The phone was slammed against the crimson car hood repeatedly, and then Kakashi's pleasent tone was heard. "Sakura, answer the question."
"Umm, well, I maybe might have sentyoutoagaybar."
“…..Might have? You sent me to a gay bar?”
“And you only just figured this out now?" The girls tone was beyond exasperated at her sensei's apparent lack of knowleadge. "I mean geez Kakashi, there are friggin’ rainbows on the front. Its like an orgy of rainbows.”
If the battered phone could have withstood it, it'd be slammed against the car right now. “When you said 'bar' I thought you meant 'with women'."
“Oh, there are women there.” The girl retorted cattily. “They’re just not into… male anatomy.”
“I’m. going. To. Kill. You.”
“Uh, no. First you’re gonna have hot guy sex, then you can kill me, okay? Toodles!"
The damaged device went out with a 'click', taking any reserves Kakashi had with violently maiming her with it.
("Oh my god, that's freakin' disgusting! I did not send you to a gay bar to hook up with Sasuke V2.0"
"Sakura, pass me your shoelaces, I need to hang myself."
"No luck, I'm wearing sandels."-
(bad word! bad word! bad word!)
-"Then what happened, Kakashi-sensei?")
-
Faint! Glare! Smileyfacesmileyface!
(and a bagful of fun.)