(no subject)
so yesterday i was to say the least numb, numb to everyfeeling that i knew would eventually come. i knew what was going on... i knew the feelings i should of been feeling... but i felt nothing... i could not feel the pain, i knew it was there but it was like i was on 1000 miligrams of morphine. it was ok i geuss.. i just couldnt come to terms with what happened... i didnt wanna face it i didnt want to think about it. so yesterday i was i dunno i was just alive walking around without any true feeling on anything at all.... i went home last night.. i couldnt sleep.. i couldnt eat... i stayed up cleaned my room... i acctually worked out for a lil while to blow some steem off.. i set my alarm for 5am to go running but i must of overslept... i think im gonna go in a lil while. anyway.. i woke up this morning and before i could even open my eyes i freaked out... i felt it i felt it all at once and i just lost it... it was horrible... today is going to suck. i feel the pain. I want to say fuck it fuck her fuck em all... but i cant i cant and im trying... im trying to destroy every memory... every reminder... every ounce of love in me... i want it gone... i remember why i was so scared.. i remember why i kept my distance so long ago i remember why my heart always belonged to me and me alone... i remember why. i am so stupid... so ignorant. so dense.
I have been shot with a a million pounds of toxin that enters your skin so painfully... so violently... like im breaking out from this poison entering my body.. i feel it crawling up my skin into my chest... eating my skin.. disolving my touch... swolling my heart in all its exsistance... smirking over the satisfaction... as i am screaming outloud with no voice for a stanger or friend to hear im screaming inside me... inside what hasnt been eaten away... i can see my bones ... limber and weak.. deteriating as i start to fall.. crumbling at the mercyless feet of my enemy. my sight... once so colorful and full of passion... are dark, growing dark at every tear.... the colors fade and i am left in an abyss of black... of pain... i fall... having noone to catch my somewhat of a body... i try i try so hard to fight it... but i cant.. its killing me... my heart... omg its like sissors peircing every ounce of love i once had... i can feel it falling... my heart is screaming for help but noones there... this poison is deadly... i know i cant win.... where is my knight ... why am i not being swept off the floor... why am i not being told to live... WHERE IS SHE WHERE...... and now im wondering whom i am refering to ... i cant seem to remember.. i cant seem to catch her name.. her face.. her love and her touch.. i dont know where i am i only know i am covered in blood and the pain is too unbariable.... now i cant feel it... its gone its like someone turned off the switch... the remains of my once lifefilled body are numb... i give in.. i let it have me.. i let him take me. i go.... i go alone... not knowing who i am, nor where i came from or who my heart once broke so painfully for... i die free....
i am reborn without any memory of this.
I have been shot with a a million pounds of toxin that enters your skin so painfully... so violently... like im breaking out from this poison entering my body.. i feel it crawling up my skin into my chest... eating my skin.. disolving my touch... swolling my heart in all its exsistance... smirking over the satisfaction... as i am screaming outloud with no voice for a stanger or friend to hear im screaming inside me... inside what hasnt been eaten away... i can see my bones ... limber and weak.. deteriating as i start to fall.. crumbling at the mercyless feet of my enemy. my sight... once so colorful and full of passion... are dark, growing dark at every tear.... the colors fade and i am left in an abyss of black... of pain... i fall... having noone to catch my somewhat of a body... i try i try so hard to fight it... but i cant.. its killing me... my heart... omg its like sissors peircing every ounce of love i once had... i can feel it falling... my heart is screaming for help but noones there... this poison is deadly... i know i cant win.... where is my knight ... why am i not being swept off the floor... why am i not being told to live... WHERE IS SHE WHERE...... and now im wondering whom i am refering to ... i cant seem to remember.. i cant seem to catch her name.. her face.. her love and her touch.. i dont know where i am i only know i am covered in blood and the pain is too unbariable.... now i cant feel it... its gone its like someone turned off the switch... the remains of my once lifefilled body are numb... i give in.. i let it have me.. i let him take me. i go.... i go alone... not knowing who i am, nor where i came from or who my heart once broke so painfully for... i die free....
i am reborn without any memory of this.