Man oh man
Well, I decided to have some fun last night and am paying for it today. LOL thas what I get though. for the record, i did havs fun and woke up in a great mood. So give me some mo'! ha ha. jammin out to the offspring. there is no better band to wake up and listen to. they fuckin rock and i can't get enough of them. mom is officially moving out today. yeah!
nikki and cassandra want me to stay here another week. i don't know about that. i'm prolly going home tomorrow. finally got some good flea bombs. no cheap shit like last time, so hopefully, it will work. i miss the person i was before i met brandon. i was this happy, carefree spirit who didn't give a fuck what was going on in the world one way or another. and not to say i don't want to care about other people, i do. just not to the point of stressing myself really badly. and that is what i have been doing.
and no amount of therapy is gonna change the past. so i'm not going back. mom wanted me to go back. she thinks medicine can solve any problem. and the truth is, i don't need medicine. i just need to get my life in order and not depend on any more fucking guys. most guys, with the exception of a few, are a waste of space. they are a waste of thought and a waste of anything special being directed to them. they don't deserve any good karma. and it will be no surprise that they don't get their big break like they want. people say they want something and then are too fucking stupid to go out their and take a risk.
i was always the type of person that if i really wanted something, i went for it. and then, accomplishd my goal. eventually, i'd like to get my master's. now, this will have to happen in small steps and it might take me a little longer than just get my bachelor's. but in the end, i'll be set for life and so will violet and olivia. and really, they are the main reason to do anything. they inspire me to want to do all i can to be a better woman and set good, healthy examples for them.
eventually, i'm going to move to cali to study marine biology. that is what i want my master's in. first gonna get through zoology, unless it is a completely separate field. then, i would prolly choose marine biology. i love ocean-life and learning about creatures and studting them. this is what i have always wanted to do. i'm glad i finally have some long-term goals for my life. i plan on sticking to them. this spring, my ass will be in school learning all i can. and then i'll get my car. laters
nikki and cassandra want me to stay here another week. i don't know about that. i'm prolly going home tomorrow. finally got some good flea bombs. no cheap shit like last time, so hopefully, it will work. i miss the person i was before i met brandon. i was this happy, carefree spirit who didn't give a fuck what was going on in the world one way or another. and not to say i don't want to care about other people, i do. just not to the point of stressing myself really badly. and that is what i have been doing.
and no amount of therapy is gonna change the past. so i'm not going back. mom wanted me to go back. she thinks medicine can solve any problem. and the truth is, i don't need medicine. i just need to get my life in order and not depend on any more fucking guys. most guys, with the exception of a few, are a waste of space. they are a waste of thought and a waste of anything special being directed to them. they don't deserve any good karma. and it will be no surprise that they don't get their big break like they want. people say they want something and then are too fucking stupid to go out their and take a risk.
i was always the type of person that if i really wanted something, i went for it. and then, accomplishd my goal. eventually, i'd like to get my master's. now, this will have to happen in small steps and it might take me a little longer than just get my bachelor's. but in the end, i'll be set for life and so will violet and olivia. and really, they are the main reason to do anything. they inspire me to want to do all i can to be a better woman and set good, healthy examples for them.
eventually, i'm going to move to cali to study marine biology. that is what i want my master's in. first gonna get through zoology, unless it is a completely separate field. then, i would prolly choose marine biology. i love ocean-life and learning about creatures and studting them. this is what i have always wanted to do. i'm glad i finally have some long-term goals for my life. i plan on sticking to them. this spring, my ass will be in school learning all i can. and then i'll get my car. laters