well then
hmmm...let's see..i'm getting 4 flea bombs, those fleas are sooo fucking dead. should be moved back in my house by thursday more than likely. i hope this works. i miss my house. even though it is boring there and there is nothing to do when i'm by myself, it's not that bad. things could be a lot worse. i could still be getting choked and pushed around by my ex. so yeah, things aren't that bad. i should be getting everything from storage moved to my house either tomorrow or the next day.
i really am trying to do the best thing by the babies. i'm trying to be a single mother, but it is hard. sometimes, they cry for no reason at all. i don't understand things. i guess i gotta learn to deal. never was much of the mothering type and now that i have them, sometimes, i'm just like what the fuck. but i think it'll get easier. i just wish someone would tell me the right way to go about things. sometimes i feel like i'm fucking up so badly and i should be doing thigns a completely different way. and then i think, it's because your poor. lol things would be a lot easier if i had more money to accomplish things. or if my mom helped me out just a little bit. i constantly stress about diapers and things for them. i can't remember the last time i bought something for myself. oh yeah i can, i bought some body wash and mascara. but that was all.
i can't be all like i used to be and go on shopping sprees. i do miss those days. once i get some more money that i don't have to spend, i'm going to go shopping with me and the babies. i think it would be fun. had to get them some more medicine today. they still have ear infections and had to go their acid reflux medicine. hopefully, it'll help them on some level.
rob came by for a little bit and was helping me feed violet while nikki was feeding olivia. i thought it was nice of him. the babies seem to like them and he likes them. i just don't want to rush into anything serious just yet. i do like him and he treats me as an equal and he's not bad looking or anything, but i still need to get over the past. can't change it, so why do i keep thinking about it? i'm going to end up driving myself crazy always thinking of things beyond my control.
i should just let it go. let everything that i can't control go. just forget about everything that has happened in the past 4 years. it would be a lot easier if i could do that. but i'm one of those kinds of people that has to analyze everything to a fault. that is prolly my worst quality and yes, and the inability to see something that isn't good for me. if i was a better jedge of character, this would never have happened. then again, maybe he was just that good of an actor and can fool a lot of people into thinking he was something that he wasn't.
i heard yesterday that his new girlfriend is butt ass ugly!!!LMAO i didn't expect him to get with a supermodel or anything, but man, have some class! he has to go and find the skankiest girl he can find to fuck him! that is laughable! it's like my ex lewis that got with that skanky chic after i broke up with him. they are supposed to move onto something better, not something worse. someone should tell him these things. but it's not gonna be me.
i kinda feel sorry for his new chic though. brandon can be a charmer and very persuasive. i hope no one else gives him the chance to get inside their head and hurt them they way he hurt me and prolly plenty of other girls. but yeah, didn't i just say i needed to stop dwelling on shit? lol well, i'm gonna go and do something more productive than waste my life on the internet. peace and blessings.
i really am trying to do the best thing by the babies. i'm trying to be a single mother, but it is hard. sometimes, they cry for no reason at all. i don't understand things. i guess i gotta learn to deal. never was much of the mothering type and now that i have them, sometimes, i'm just like what the fuck. but i think it'll get easier. i just wish someone would tell me the right way to go about things. sometimes i feel like i'm fucking up so badly and i should be doing thigns a completely different way. and then i think, it's because your poor. lol things would be a lot easier if i had more money to accomplish things. or if my mom helped me out just a little bit. i constantly stress about diapers and things for them. i can't remember the last time i bought something for myself. oh yeah i can, i bought some body wash and mascara. but that was all.
i can't be all like i used to be and go on shopping sprees. i do miss those days. once i get some more money that i don't have to spend, i'm going to go shopping with me and the babies. i think it would be fun. had to get them some more medicine today. they still have ear infections and had to go their acid reflux medicine. hopefully, it'll help them on some level.
rob came by for a little bit and was helping me feed violet while nikki was feeding olivia. i thought it was nice of him. the babies seem to like them and he likes them. i just don't want to rush into anything serious just yet. i do like him and he treats me as an equal and he's not bad looking or anything, but i still need to get over the past. can't change it, so why do i keep thinking about it? i'm going to end up driving myself crazy always thinking of things beyond my control.
i should just let it go. let everything that i can't control go. just forget about everything that has happened in the past 4 years. it would be a lot easier if i could do that. but i'm one of those kinds of people that has to analyze everything to a fault. that is prolly my worst quality and yes, and the inability to see something that isn't good for me. if i was a better jedge of character, this would never have happened. then again, maybe he was just that good of an actor and can fool a lot of people into thinking he was something that he wasn't.
i heard yesterday that his new girlfriend is butt ass ugly!!!LMAO i didn't expect him to get with a supermodel or anything, but man, have some class! he has to go and find the skankiest girl he can find to fuck him! that is laughable! it's like my ex lewis that got with that skanky chic after i broke up with him. they are supposed to move onto something better, not something worse. someone should tell him these things. but it's not gonna be me.
i kinda feel sorry for his new chic though. brandon can be a charmer and very persuasive. i hope no one else gives him the chance to get inside their head and hurt them they way he hurt me and prolly plenty of other girls. but yeah, didn't i just say i needed to stop dwelling on shit? lol well, i'm gonna go and do something more productive than waste my life on the internet. peace and blessings.