wow...
does it ever get any easier? will this pain that i feel ever go away? this day was sucky also.. had to clean my apartment last night and de-flea it...it is still not de-fleaed, should be by tomorrow or the next day the landlord said. man, he is such a fucking prick... he was all like i saw you getting rid of the cats, i was like do you have it on recorder or a video camera? he was like no...then you haev no proof. so, i have to shampoo my carpets before the 2nd... that is so gay... i feel spread too thin. i am sooo tired and have no time to relax, my mom is not helping me like she said she would. i lugged that heavy ass stroller all over town today and felt like i was about to pass out.. i didn't though, thank god for that.
i have to work tomorrow morning and put the babies into daycare. got all their stuff outta lesage last night and just now. so that makes me more relieved that they have all their shit and i have most of mine. i try to keep my mind off of him, but it goes right back to him. i stayed in the apartment last night by myself and it was soo fucking depressing not to have anyone there to cuddle with. it gets pretty lonely now. that is why i never wanted to be single cause of that fucking feeling that you are alone in the world. that is a sucky feeling to have indeed!!!
i wish maybe i woulda made some different choices in my life, so it wouldn't be like it is now. fuck this. i need a boyfriend or something. right now, i have a person that is fucking with my head or so, it does seem that way. this life is sooo boring and monotonous. i need some excitement in my life, some don juan who will sweep my off my feet and buy me flowers all the time and write me poetry. but, i don't think such a guy exists. it would be cool though. yeah. peace, i'm out.
i have to work tomorrow morning and put the babies into daycare. got all their stuff outta lesage last night and just now. so that makes me more relieved that they have all their shit and i have most of mine. i try to keep my mind off of him, but it goes right back to him. i stayed in the apartment last night by myself and it was soo fucking depressing not to have anyone there to cuddle with. it gets pretty lonely now. that is why i never wanted to be single cause of that fucking feeling that you are alone in the world. that is a sucky feeling to have indeed!!!
i wish maybe i woulda made some different choices in my life, so it wouldn't be like it is now. fuck this. i need a boyfriend or something. right now, i have a person that is fucking with my head or so, it does seem that way. this life is sooo boring and monotonous. i need some excitement in my life, some don juan who will sweep my off my feet and buy me flowers all the time and write me poetry. but, i don't think such a guy exists. it would be cool though. yeah. peace, i'm out.