OHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOOD!!!
i feel like such a fucking mess and i can't help it. i've just received word that there is a girl over there. now, it has barely been a week since we broke up out of a FUCKING TWO YEAR RELATIONSHIP which i guess meant absolutely nothing to him. it couldn't. he must've already had a back-up plan. i thought he was supposed to mourn me. he said he was going to. i haven't even looked at any guys yet. a fucking girl over there? can you believe that? i bet he was fake-crying and everything when i broke up with him. hell, he was prolly secretly smiling cause he could bring whoever over. i feel so stupid. like i wasn't something that he should've been sad over. am i really that pathetic? i certainly feel like it. he acted like he was soo upset about it. i was actually pretty worried about him. and now i found out he's already doing that sacred act which was once just between he and i. oh my god. i can't stop crying. i hate this. i hate everything. what we had is nothing for i am nothing. i can't think, can't even breathe, threw up just now.... i wish i could just fucking hate him, but i can't. maybe he wanted me to know to hurt me. that is so fucked up. i was so nice to him through every fucking thing that he ever did. i forgave him, hoped it would get better, that he would get better. now, he's already charming some new girl. i can't believe he didn't think what we had was special enough to wait a little bit before trying to get laid. i...i am at a loss of words as of yet. i think i might call my therapist. i have never felt such pain, never... physically, yes. but emotionally, no.
brandon how could you? i thought you at least had some sort of decency, but i guess i was wrong.
brandon how could you? i thought you at least had some sort of decency, but i guess i was wrong.