Life
well it is shit, just everything is falling a part.
I hate being at home, I feel at times Liz is starting to grow I dunno bored of me, Alfred is just driving me insane, I have no money, and did I forget to mention the fucking depression is just getting worse?
I think I know what is wrong, this house, my mother, my little brother always getting away with things, Alfred.
The thing is the depression just hits randomly out of the fucking blue, and it is starting to worry me.
Just the other night I had the worst one, I was just feeling down about something, and then I just fucking broke down. Good thing Liz was there or I just get the feeling I dunno what I'd do, just I kept hearing things tell me I am worthless, and I shouldn't even be breathing.
I am a crazy, that is all I can really think.
Why can't I be normal? Why can't I just live life like a normal 21 year old? No I have to be this way, be different, be crazy in the head, be everything I wish I never wanted to be. The pills don't help, they put me asleep, or make me feel drugged.
Just I feel I will never get better no matter how hard I try, or they try.
Well then again they are not even trying, they are just drugging me up. =/
I get the feeling they don't care about my depression, they just care more about these damn visions, well I hate to break it to them, the vision are from the fucking depression.
Just I needed to get these feelings out, and I know this is the only place where hardly any of my friends check, but then again, I can post write on my fucking chest 'I am a crazy.', and no one would really care.
I will be honest, I wish all of these feelings would just go away, so I can be normal. I want to be happy again, and every time I get even close to feeling happy, feeling that everything was in place, it goes away, and I am right here again.
I am just going to say this is a Mad World ..... and I feel like I am the fucking god of it all.
At least today I can talk to some about these feelings, about how worthless I feel about how I fucking forgot to fill out that damn paper. D8
shiiiiiiit, So I am not going to remember hardly anything, that is just fucking peachy. =..=;;
Well I need to get ready for the day today.
I hate being at home, I feel at times Liz is starting to grow I dunno bored of me, Alfred is just driving me insane, I have no money, and did I forget to mention the fucking depression is just getting worse?
I think I know what is wrong, this house, my mother, my little brother always getting away with things, Alfred.
The thing is the depression just hits randomly out of the fucking blue, and it is starting to worry me.
Just the other night I had the worst one, I was just feeling down about something, and then I just fucking broke down. Good thing Liz was there or I just get the feeling I dunno what I'd do, just I kept hearing things tell me I am worthless, and I shouldn't even be breathing.
I am a crazy, that is all I can really think.
Why can't I be normal? Why can't I just live life like a normal 21 year old? No I have to be this way, be different, be crazy in the head, be everything I wish I never wanted to be. The pills don't help, they put me asleep, or make me feel drugged.
Just I feel I will never get better no matter how hard I try, or they try.
Well then again they are not even trying, they are just drugging me up. =/
I get the feeling they don't care about my depression, they just care more about these damn visions, well I hate to break it to them, the vision are from the fucking depression.
Just I needed to get these feelings out, and I know this is the only place where hardly any of my friends check, but then again, I can post write on my fucking chest 'I am a crazy.', and no one would really care.
I will be honest, I wish all of these feelings would just go away, so I can be normal. I want to be happy again, and every time I get even close to feeling happy, feeling that everything was in place, it goes away, and I am right here again.
I am just going to say this is a Mad World ..... and I feel like I am the fucking god of it all.
At least today I can talk to some about these feelings, about how worthless I feel about how I fucking forgot to fill out that damn paper. D8
shiiiiiiit, So I am not going to remember hardly anything, that is just fucking peachy. =..=;;
Well I need to get ready for the day today.