curl up n die
I cry all the time, I wish I had something to make the pain go away and make me happy again. I wish that things were different, that I didn't feel this way.. But I do.. Like even on our anniversary Ry wasn't around and it hurts me so much..
I love him and I try to be *sexy, sweet, lovable* But it never seems good enough for him.. Like today I woke up put on my cutest outfit, and did my make-up and just made myself looked the best I could because I knew Ryan would be happy and then come to find out Im not seeing him again today.. I dont understand it at all. He stills picked me up from school and dropped me off at home, and needless to say we fought of course because we always do.. I was crying, he was yelling, and I got no comfort.. I never do, he never just grabs me and hold me when Im crying.. I just feel so alone, I hate myself, I want to go away, I want to just not feel this way.. I need someone anyone to be there for me, to show me that they wont leave me when I need them..
I feel as if Im nothing ro Ryan, I feel like he doesn't care if I cry my eyes out, that I need him so much.. I feel like an idiot to believe that we could work out, I dont know I want it to so bad.. But I dont know how it could. I dont want to give up because he is the one that holds my heart but I dont know what to do to make him see that.. Or to make him treat me better....
Im going to go curl up now ..
-brit
I love him and I try to be *sexy, sweet, lovable* But it never seems good enough for him.. Like today I woke up put on my cutest outfit, and did my make-up and just made myself looked the best I could because I knew Ryan would be happy and then come to find out Im not seeing him again today.. I dont understand it at all. He stills picked me up from school and dropped me off at home, and needless to say we fought of course because we always do.. I was crying, he was yelling, and I got no comfort.. I never do, he never just grabs me and hold me when Im crying.. I just feel so alone, I hate myself, I want to go away, I want to just not feel this way.. I need someone anyone to be there for me, to show me that they wont leave me when I need them..
I feel as if Im nothing ro Ryan, I feel like he doesn't care if I cry my eyes out, that I need him so much.. I feel like an idiot to believe that we could work out, I dont know I want it to so bad.. But I dont know how it could. I dont want to give up because he is the one that holds my heart but I dont know what to do to make him see that.. Or to make him treat me better....
Im going to go curl up now ..
-brit