(no subject)
I hate my fucking life...Its so depressing...I'm sick of being in it....Im so tired....Tired of everything.....
Fake people
working
school
lack of money
wanting to move out
being alone
As far as me getting fired from my job it was the bank....I had only been working there for like a month or two...My boss was the biggest bitch I have ever met...The worst boss I have ever had and probably will ever have...She treated me like shit and got rid of me the first chance she got....I made a mistake and she terminated me the next day....She was looking for a reason to let me go and she found it get this " I was short 3 CENTS from my till (bank till) so i took it from MY pocket (in other words i GAVE the bank 3 CENTS) ok? Well I obviously know that i shouldn't be giving my money away to the bank well because that isn't fair to me but I didn't think it was against policy and could lead up to employment termination well it did.....She took me in the next day and sat me down and bluntly told me "because of what you did yesterday we have to let you go, it is against policy and blah blah blah" is all i heard....I told her I felt like I wasn't given a chance and she said that "usually when you violate rules your chances are given up" she was really mean to me....But its okay because if she was gonna talk to me like that then I am better off without that job anyways....So whatever
Im still with longs and getting a lot of hours....I was even talking to my assistant manager about possibly becoming a key carrier like a step below the Assistant manager....it would be good experience for me and all...So maybe i could be doin that i would get a raise and be working 40 hours a week and have benefits....the maybe i could move out....
I found out a lot of bs going on at my work my friend "Jessica" I guess has been talking shit on me like saying rude shit about me behind my back and being nice to my face...Whatever tho So this girl Brandi who works in the pharmacy with Jessica was telling me this bs that was being said (me and brandi are friends so i believe her) And everything brandi told me sounded EXACTLY like the type of shit Jessica would say about someone and It doesn't surprise me that she said it about me....lets see what are some of the things that she said about me? Umm that I'm 1. White Trash: let me see do i look like white trash? NO I don't dress like white trash don't look like I'm on drugs....I look like a normal person nor do i live like white trash My room is always really clean alon with my house I get that from my mom WE aren't white trash...And coming from someone who can't even keep their locker from looking like a fucking shit pit she shouldn't be talking. She has told Brandi to not socialize with me because I am messed up or some shit. and that she thinks I got fried from the bank for STEELING money or that I accidently gave out too much money to someone and got fired for it but I'm using the "oh i was 3 cents short" story to make myself not look dumb....Okay yes the 3 cents is a ridiculous thing to get fired for but can we all keep in mind that she was LOOKING for a fucking reason to get mad at me? So whatever Jessica can think whatever she wants and that is fine by me....She is obviously not a true friend to anyone for that matter....I knew she was two faced because she would talk shit behind someones back and then be completely nice to their face....and let me tell all of you
"IF SOMEONE TALKS SHIT BEHIND SOMEONE ELSES BACK AND IS THEN NICE TO THAT PERSONS FACE 2 SECONDS LATER, THEY WILL DO IT TO YOU TOO!"
and Jessica is defiantly that kind of person....I should have realized that....Because that is one of my rules....If someone is talking that kind of shit and then acts like that persons best friend 5 minutes later then they are probably being nice to your face and then talking shit about you behind your back.
anyways I ended up going to brandis house that night with her and her fiance and another guy i work with and we went and got Wendy’s and drank beer and smiernoff and watched tv and all talked shit about Longs...It was really fun and I hate to admit it but I have a little crush on Brandi which is horrible because she is engaged to be married in Oct. Her fiancé is really cool and he seems like one of those types of guys that wouldn't care if his gf messed around with another girl...But I have been there and seen that and let me tell you that is fucking bullshit and im not that kind of girl...Me and Brandi always flirt tho she always says that I want her an she calls me sweetie a lot....I just think she's beautiful Ill post a picture of her on here tomorrow maybe....Ill take one of her at work....I love the way she talks to me....So its fun going over to her house...she makes me drinks and stuff....And now that people are shit talking on us Im happy i have her because Jessica Always talks shit on Brandi and so Brandi and I shared stories of what Jessica has said and let me tell you they are “scarrily” a like.....Anyway Brandis apt. with her fiancé is really cute....they pay something like 600 a month for a one bedroom with vaulted ceilings I really like it and am thinking about maybe finding another bank job (they pay good) and getting a little place of my own....I would really like to move in with a girl (not a roommate) but someone to you know SHARE a bed with but I don't want to fuck my self over lord knows there are no real girls out there i swear people suck....
i guess you could say I'm bitter again....I went almost 2 months without talking to Amanda and then figured I would say hi or somethin....I figured she would by then have had enough of kirstens shit and be ready to maybe let of of that and get to know me (which was my plan of quitting talking to her for that month and a half) So I IM her and to make a long story short....Amanda decided she didn't want Kirsten as anything other than a friend and she is currently dating someone who lives in "grass Valley" (Mind you another one of her internet flings) and someone who lives almost 5 hours away from her. She just got rid of Kirsten and is now hooked up with someone else....and this completely broke my heart....she didn't even think of me at all....she says she thought I hated her and all but I don't believe her she was not interested in getting to know or be with me at all....I should have known it all along that she didn't want me...I just figured that it was because she really did love kirsten....So i stuck around for about a week and thought that maybe i could get her to remember what we had (like she forgot or some shit) and finnaly she told me that she "loves this girl" and that she has "never expricenced osmething this strong before" Beasically everything I felt about her she feels for someone she has been dating for 2 fucking weeks So that hurt so bad and it felt so immature...So now Im finally done. Im sending back her picturs...changed my Screen name...Deleted her number off my phone...Don't call her everything I am finally done...I never know she would go that far as to hooking up with someone so soon and not even thinking about me....I feel so dumb...I slept with that girl...Held her all night kissed her a hundred times...held hands with her constantly...Would talk for hours on the phone....I really thought we could have gotten that back....I guess I am just fucking ignorant and stupid...But i am done....She will not change and I see that now...She she deserves whatever she gets.
As far as school it is shit...Im Withdrawing out of 2 classes that I have like low D's and high F's in i Would rather take a W than an F....I don't care anymore....I need to get my ass in gear and try harder ....I think I just let too much drama clog my head this semester and i need to try harder..I'm keeping English which I am getting an A in...
other than that not too much is going on....I got my hair highlighted...I will upload a pic of that along with the picture of Brandi tomorrow night.....anyways my hands hurt so I will type more tomorrow maybe.
Fake people
working
school
lack of money
wanting to move out
being alone
As far as me getting fired from my job it was the bank....I had only been working there for like a month or two...My boss was the biggest bitch I have ever met...The worst boss I have ever had and probably will ever have...She treated me like shit and got rid of me the first chance she got....I made a mistake and she terminated me the next day....She was looking for a reason to let me go and she found it get this " I was short 3 CENTS from my till (bank till) so i took it from MY pocket (in other words i GAVE the bank 3 CENTS) ok? Well I obviously know that i shouldn't be giving my money away to the bank well because that isn't fair to me but I didn't think it was against policy and could lead up to employment termination well it did.....She took me in the next day and sat me down and bluntly told me "because of what you did yesterday we have to let you go, it is against policy and blah blah blah" is all i heard....I told her I felt like I wasn't given a chance and she said that "usually when you violate rules your chances are given up" she was really mean to me....But its okay because if she was gonna talk to me like that then I am better off without that job anyways....So whatever
Im still with longs and getting a lot of hours....I was even talking to my assistant manager about possibly becoming a key carrier like a step below the Assistant manager....it would be good experience for me and all...So maybe i could be doin that i would get a raise and be working 40 hours a week and have benefits....the maybe i could move out....
I found out a lot of bs going on at my work my friend "Jessica" I guess has been talking shit on me like saying rude shit about me behind my back and being nice to my face...Whatever tho So this girl Brandi who works in the pharmacy with Jessica was telling me this bs that was being said (me and brandi are friends so i believe her) And everything brandi told me sounded EXACTLY like the type of shit Jessica would say about someone and It doesn't surprise me that she said it about me....lets see what are some of the things that she said about me? Umm that I'm 1. White Trash: let me see do i look like white trash? NO I don't dress like white trash don't look like I'm on drugs....I look like a normal person nor do i live like white trash My room is always really clean alon with my house I get that from my mom WE aren't white trash...And coming from someone who can't even keep their locker from looking like a fucking shit pit she shouldn't be talking. She has told Brandi to not socialize with me because I am messed up or some shit. and that she thinks I got fried from the bank for STEELING money or that I accidently gave out too much money to someone and got fired for it but I'm using the "oh i was 3 cents short" story to make myself not look dumb....Okay yes the 3 cents is a ridiculous thing to get fired for but can we all keep in mind that she was LOOKING for a fucking reason to get mad at me? So whatever Jessica can think whatever she wants and that is fine by me....She is obviously not a true friend to anyone for that matter....I knew she was two faced because she would talk shit behind someones back and then be completely nice to their face....and let me tell all of you
"IF SOMEONE TALKS SHIT BEHIND SOMEONE ELSES BACK AND IS THEN NICE TO THAT PERSONS FACE 2 SECONDS LATER, THEY WILL DO IT TO YOU TOO!"
and Jessica is defiantly that kind of person....I should have realized that....Because that is one of my rules....If someone is talking that kind of shit and then acts like that persons best friend 5 minutes later then they are probably being nice to your face and then talking shit about you behind your back.
anyways I ended up going to brandis house that night with her and her fiance and another guy i work with and we went and got Wendy’s and drank beer and smiernoff and watched tv and all talked shit about Longs...It was really fun and I hate to admit it but I have a little crush on Brandi which is horrible because she is engaged to be married in Oct. Her fiancé is really cool and he seems like one of those types of guys that wouldn't care if his gf messed around with another girl...But I have been there and seen that and let me tell you that is fucking bullshit and im not that kind of girl...Me and Brandi always flirt tho she always says that I want her an she calls me sweetie a lot....I just think she's beautiful Ill post a picture of her on here tomorrow maybe....Ill take one of her at work....I love the way she talks to me....So its fun going over to her house...she makes me drinks and stuff....And now that people are shit talking on us Im happy i have her because Jessica Always talks shit on Brandi and so Brandi and I shared stories of what Jessica has said and let me tell you they are “scarrily” a like.....Anyway Brandis apt. with her fiancé is really cute....they pay something like 600 a month for a one bedroom with vaulted ceilings I really like it and am thinking about maybe finding another bank job (they pay good) and getting a little place of my own....I would really like to move in with a girl (not a roommate) but someone to you know SHARE a bed with but I don't want to fuck my self over lord knows there are no real girls out there i swear people suck....
i guess you could say I'm bitter again....I went almost 2 months without talking to Amanda and then figured I would say hi or somethin....I figured she would by then have had enough of kirstens shit and be ready to maybe let of of that and get to know me (which was my plan of quitting talking to her for that month and a half) So I IM her and to make a long story short....Amanda decided she didn't want Kirsten as anything other than a friend and she is currently dating someone who lives in "grass Valley" (Mind you another one of her internet flings) and someone who lives almost 5 hours away from her. She just got rid of Kirsten and is now hooked up with someone else....and this completely broke my heart....she didn't even think of me at all....she says she thought I hated her and all but I don't believe her she was not interested in getting to know or be with me at all....I should have known it all along that she didn't want me...I just figured that it was because she really did love kirsten....So i stuck around for about a week and thought that maybe i could get her to remember what we had (like she forgot or some shit) and finnaly she told me that she "loves this girl" and that she has "never expricenced osmething this strong before" Beasically everything I felt about her she feels for someone she has been dating for 2 fucking weeks So that hurt so bad and it felt so immature...So now Im finally done. Im sending back her picturs...changed my Screen name...Deleted her number off my phone...Don't call her everything I am finally done...I never know she would go that far as to hooking up with someone so soon and not even thinking about me....I feel so dumb...I slept with that girl...Held her all night kissed her a hundred times...held hands with her constantly...Would talk for hours on the phone....I really thought we could have gotten that back....I guess I am just fucking ignorant and stupid...But i am done....She will not change and I see that now...She she deserves whatever she gets.
As far as school it is shit...Im Withdrawing out of 2 classes that I have like low D's and high F's in i Would rather take a W than an F....I don't care anymore....I need to get my ass in gear and try harder ....I think I just let too much drama clog my head this semester and i need to try harder..I'm keeping English which I am getting an A in...
other than that not too much is going on....I got my hair highlighted...I will upload a pic of that along with the picture of Brandi tomorrow night.....anyways my hands hurt so I will type more tomorrow maybe.