(no subject)
Here we go again....didn't I JUST say that this would happen soon? Happened a lot sooner then I thought It would. This is getting ridiculous, HA getting?!---- HAS BEEN.
"So when I do get hurt again I have no one to blame but myself....I really mean that because I know that its going to happen again." -last post
I just tried to tell myself that I wouldn’t be so upset and not get close and here I am again, my stomach in a knot and I feel like crying.
She won't answer my calls, She hasn't been online. I sent her an email and it was never read so that means that she isn't at home because she is always online at least a few times a night....So therefore she is probably in Modesto with Kirsten....She didn't tell me she was going there this weekend. Its not like she has to report to me or anything but fuck I had asked her what she was doing this weekend and the only thing she mentioned to me was that her Gma was coming from out of town....Her grandma got here on like a Wednesday and Amanda still was online still talked to me on the phone etc. The only time she is ever not talking to me is when she is with Kirsten....Why couldn't she just tell me she was going there and that she was going to ignore the phone calls and messages i got from her. It’s a cell phone I know its WITH her. I know she hears it, sees the caller ID yeah that would be heather calling you, why can't you pick up the phone that she has called 2 or 3 times since last night? She obviously Doesn’t want to talk to me and why??? what the fuck did i do? Why can't she tell me what is going on? We had a nice conversation on Thursday night and then we both got online so she could watch the OC and keep talking to me we talked for a little bit and then after a while we just stopped talking I was doin something then when I went back and tried IMing her she wouldn't respond. I text her cell no response. So I was like hm she probably went to bed. Then Friday came didn't talk to her all day, no email from her on what happened to her the night before. Last night she signed on for like 2 minutes and i waited for her to IM me, nothing. She signed off And I called her cell. No answer...What the fuck is going on?
The only thing I can think of is that she is in Modesto with Kirsten and she doesn't want to tell me because she thinks i will be mad and it would cause a fight. I would be mad but I wouldn't want to fight with her. I just want to know what’s up. They're probably together....
I think its time to start working on letting her go for real.....People that care about you won't make you depressed all the time