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[rainbowgirlie]

I don't know if anyone deals with depression, but it sucks, its not something you can control, and if you are like me and decide NOT to take those stupid pills that fuck you up in the end, for it, its REALLY to difficult to deal with. It affects the ones you love the most, and its just really hard. Along with OCD, and diabetes, man, its a shock i'm

Comments

[saraybe]

my OCD is getting better with time. i have strange things that i will never stop doing it cause of OCD. example, when i eat french fries i never eat the last part of them. i will eat them all the way down till just a small part of it is left and then i throw that part on the side. if i have a round piece of food infront of me i have to eat it in a cirlce. take one bite off then turn it in a circle and take the next bite off so forth and so off. i do things in a numbers of 3. i lock my car door 3 times before i get out of it. i wear 3 rings every day, etc. i also do some foods in numbers of 3. like i will only eat 3 cookies at a time in a circular fashion. or 3 chocolates at a time, etc. the meds did not help me at all. they made me into a zombie. i was at the mall one day i was just starting to take Zoloft and i blacked out in the store, fell on the CONCRET floor, busted my head up and i fell into a clothing rack some i have some scars from that on me. when i came to i was numb, and i was running a fever and my lips were blue and i could not speak, or move my arms. that day i stopped them. so dont feel like no one understands you sweetie. I DO. i am always here for you as well and i hope you know that. *HUGS*

[rainbowgirlie]

OH girl....do I RELATE. Some of the ocd stuff I do i wont even tell people. I wake up and it starts. at work i have to stare at someone for like 10 seconds, then stop, then stare for 3 seconds, then 1 then stop. Numbers is a huge thing for me to. If i get blood drawn I have to touch the wound till it hurts, then stop.At night time, I have to check my alarm clock 3 times, then stop, then do it again, and if any sounds come on I have to do it all over. I ahve to check my birth control every night before I go to bed and put my cell phone on silent and watch the bars of energy go all the way up and when it hits silent i put it down on my couch. I have to make sure if theres glasses in the hallway that the cup is in the middle of the place, and I do all kinds of more wierd shit. NO one will understand it, im betting you do tho. I HATE it. Some of the stuff is really embarassing. ANd then I have to have people (like my boyfreind only) repeat stuff. LIke if I say i love you and he says i love you, i have to have him say it again, or whatever. I am SO glad your not on the meds...its way better that way, i dont want you blacking out on me. :)

[saraybe]

well it is good to not be alone with it all. that is one thing that use to get to me at first was thinking that i was alone. but i am not! meds fucking suck and i feel bad for those who think that they HAVE to take them. i also have really high anxity. do you suffer from that as well? i have found that cutting back on the caffiene really helps. and i also have panic attacks with it all. maybe one day i will be able to handle it all better. after everything with my mom and brother it has gotten worse, but i am working on it again.