Making the Switch From Identifying as A Trans Furry to A Christian Furry, And The Trials Involved.
Making the Switch From Identifying as A Transgender Furry to A Christian Furry, And All The Trials Involved. (Full Title)
I would like to again thank all my readers who have been following along with me so far in my journal. I realize that faith and religion is a very sensitive topic, as is sexual orientation/preference - so I am going to be writing on this subject matter with respect and out of a desire to show how my journey through the furry fandom while identifying as a LGBTQ+ individual has impacted me in life, and how things have changed since I have become a born again Christian. It is not my intention or desire to make anyone feel hurt, harassed, or intimidated with this entry. I spent around fifteen years of my life in the LGBTQ+ community. I realize and understand that words can hurt and in an effort to show that I love you - my brother or sister who is kind enough to follow along with me in my journals so far, I will do my absolute very best to write in a way and tone that is respectful and considerate to everyone who feels this subject points to or relates to.
Again, this is just a recollection of my experiences, then and now, with comparisons made. I realize my experience is not the average experience for every individual out there. If while going through my life's story, you don't feel anything is applicable to you - I understand and respect that.
This journal entry is going to involve discussion about LGBTQ+ as it pertains to and its impact on my personal life, as well as the LGBTQ+ presence within furry fandom.
This journal will be utilizing data from polls and surveys sampled among the furry population that gives a breakdown of various demographics. The sample/poll data can be found and researched in further detail at: https://adjectivespecies.com/2015/08/24/furry-demographics/
The reason for this is because I wish to incorporate scientific research methods and data to collaborate my thoughts and theories with regard to furry and LGBTQ+ aspects/culture within the furry fandom.
To begin, I believe that a large number of people who become involved with the furry fandom do so because there is an element of openness, acceptance, and inclusion that goes along with the animal/human fantasy element that the furry fandom is well known for. It is true - those of us who identify as furry will tell you that we really enjoy being a part of this community because we can, in some way or another - be, or roleplay, or have some sort of link with a version of ourselves that we get a lot of happiness, fun, and enjoyment out of. By 'version of ourselves' - I mean how a great number of furries usually have an avatar within furry that represents who they are that incorporates animal, human, or most often a mixture of these two elements. Being in the furry fandom means you can have the ability to construct a character to represent yourself in a way that you would choose to be if you could be part human, part animal. There is a lot of diversity and furries can be really imaginative and creative with how we choose to present ourselves within the community.
It's a pretty natural human desire to want to be accepted, appreciated, and loved for who you are. I think just about most children want to feel these emotions from others. Adults as well. I can't really speak with regards to anyone's life lived but my own - but I will say that my childhood was very, very rough. I was bullied very heavily when I was a very little child. Other kids would make fun of me because I was overweight at this time. My parents at the time were also heavy smokers, so the house would become filled with cigarette smoke and when I would go to (middle school, junior high), kids and teachers would make the assumption that I was smoking and would either make fun of me or confront me about this due to the smell of cigarettes on my clothes. I hated cigarettes as a child because of how noxious their smell was. To this day I still cannot stand them - so I guess in a way I have those experiences as a child to thank because they protected me from ever giving in to this addiction. I experimented with cigarettes as I grew older, but it never became something that I stuck with after I tried them and it lost its taboo.
So as a little child I was bullied. I would try to make friends and I would either be made fun of, or other kids I would try to befriend would run from, or make fun of me. I was lucky enough to have a good friend here and there, but I remember quite a lot of instances of bullying as a general rule. Having remarks made about my weight, being spit on, being pantsed in public view of other children by bullies (this can be a devastating event to a young child's mind). This is just the things that I can recall off the top of my head. I'm sure there were other bad days. Kids can be very cruel.
The next part of my story is a part that I generally never really share with anyone at all. Ever. Basically, I was molested sexually as a child by a childhood friend. This friend was older than me. I can't really remember how much - maybe by a few years? But if I'm not mistaken in my time line - I think I was aged anywhere from 9-13 at the time when I was taken advantage of. This was before anyone had really told me anything about sex, why you should or shouldn't do it, etc. I was just a child, and this friend involved me in something that I thought was something new and taboo to try at my young age. The whole 'X or Y activity is taboo' is a thing for young children. Anything that you are not supposed to do has this air of mystery about it and children are usually very curious. This is why firearms are supposed to be locked up and secured. It's why alcohol is not to be left in a place where children can gain access to it. There are too many news stories where a child somehow gained access to a parents' firearm or a bottle of alcohol and tragedy or near tragedy follows.
So I didn't really have anyone to protect me or tell me at the time that I was being taken advantage of as a child. This slightly older friend came into and eventually went out of my life, but looking back in retrospect I do believe the damage had already been done. By damage - I mean the fact that as a child all I had to operate on now at this point is that sex equals feel good pleasure sensations. Because of what had been done to me at such a young age - I equated sex as something you do with another person for fun and to feel good, and it is something friends can do. My household was not very religious in any sense of the word, so I never had the moral upbringing that you get with certain faiths such as Christianity that teaches how sex is a miraculous act given to us by the LORD so that we can show our love for a spouse as well as share in the unique power that the LORD has in being able to create new life with someone we love.
I never got told that. I was never warned about the road I would be going down by just having this belief that if someone you like and trust touches you and does things with you that feels good - there's no danger in that. But I am going to tell you just how incorrect I was in this assumption.
The reason why I believe this was and is a danger is because sexual abuse at an early age of this nature encourages the child to seek out similar encounters as they grow. Whether by themselves, that is, touching and masturbation which can then lead to dangerous and destructive immoral habits such as consumption or production of pornography, or by engaging in risk-taking behavior such as flings, one night-stands with other people whom they deem as "safe, to be trusted, a friend". Unless or until that child comes to the realization and acceptance that they were molested and sexually abused and had sex introduced to them in a immoral way that is a perversion of how the LORD meant us to engage in and enjoy the act, there is a very real danger that they will be, in my humble opinion, much more likely to indulge in sexual behavior with other individuals than if they had never been abused in the first place. I believe that having a strong family dynamic with the mother and father as well as an integration of faith that incorporates instruction and guidance on behaving morally also protects against this sort of behavior - but when you either introduce child sexual abuse and/or remove the Christian/faith element from a family, or in worst case scenarios such as mine - both column A and B - you are left with a child (and subsequent adult) that is in much danger, and much more likely to behave differently with regards to how they view and engage in acts of intimacy with others.
Remember the link I provided earlier that has demographic survey data taken from within the furry fandom? There is some interesting information there, and I will get to it in a moment. I really wish they had included in their questionnaires a question that asks the individual if they had a strong/good family dynamic and whether or not that individual had ever suffered sexual abuse when they were young. At least one of these questions is a tough sell to ask someone because it is very personal in nature, but if people answered truthfully it could give us an interesting look into whether or not there is a significant number of furries who were abused and exposed to sex at an early age. Again, given that there seems to be a sort of "It's OK" mentality within furry with regards to being sexual with others, I really have to wonder, here. Anyone who has experience with learning about Christianity and other faiths realize that sexual promiscuity is something that is generally regarded as bad. Bad for you. Bad for the person who is your bf/gf or husband/wife, and bad for the society/culture that is promoting sexual promiscuity as well. When traditional marriage breaks down and people start sleeping around inside of and outside of marriage, diseases proliferate, children are born out of wedlock, parents do not commit to their responsibility to the other person they had the child with, or the child. In other words, there is much opportunity for bad things to happen that marriage protects against.
Because I never really had a Christian upbringing nor was I taught about the dangers of sin and immoral behavior - sexually or otherwise, I very early on in the furry fandom started looking for ways to find approval and acceptance from other furries online in ways that I had received it when I was a young child. And as I have stated in an earlier journal entry, there is *no* shortage of online furry themed places where you can either view pornographic furry art or engage in adult erotic roleplay with other furries. Such areas include but are not limited to IRC (internet relay chat) - a sort of place with many themed chat rooms where you can interact with other furries and engage in erotic roleplay. I remember the last time I checked that many of the themes of these chat rooms were adult/fetish in nature. Other places include Mucks - text-based world/environments where you could "run into" other furry characters of all sorts and begin roleplay interactions with them. One such place I frequented very early on was one of these worlds that touts being an area where furries can explore and interact socially, while also being introduced to and indulging in BDSM. In the fetish/kink community, this is an abbreviation for bondage-dominance-sadism-masochism. Not going to get into what it means. You can probably guess. This world had many, many other furries on it roleplaying their characters. The world was actually set up in such a way where you can add specific flags, or keywords, to let other people know what you were into, as far as your fetishes or sexual interests are concerned. I will just say that there was something for everyone, there.
It was while I was in this online roleplay community that I found out that I would get much MUCH more attention if I roleplayed or presented myself as a female furry instead of what I was in the real world - a male furry. I do not recall specifically the breakdown of male/female players in this text-based community I was a part of, but it was without a doubt much easier to get 'attention' from others if you presented as a female instead of a male. So this was where I begun to present myself as female within the furry fandom. My first character(s) in this environment were overwhelmingly female. I don't have a way to prove this to anyone, but it is my belief that by entering into and roleplaying this lie - for what would be years, in a way that involved adult interactions with others, would over time influence and lead me into believing "Hey, why can't I just say "I AM" female? Although most characters in this environment either identified as male/female in their character description - there were some that identified or presented as transsexual or transgender. I personally feel that the combination of learning about these terms at this young point in my life along with engaging in a perpetual lie - presenting and roleplaying as something I was not would eventually lead to me believing the lie. It is said that if you engage in a lie and tell a lie long enough you will begin to see the lie as truth. I believe that this is something that took place in my mind. I was receiving so much more acceptance and attention from others in this environment with a female character. Why would I not want to roll with that? And here within the furry community and in this text based world being gay or bi was very much accepted alongside anyone who identified as heterosexual, so why wouldn't you be accepted as someone who was a physical sex who 'felt' they were the opposite sex inside as well? It seemed like the perfect world. The perfect community. Love and tolerance and acceptance. Even though a lot of the love I was receiving at the time was involving the sin of lust, erotic roleplay online with people who would come into my life for awhile, then eventually fade out of it. I still remember a number of names of the people I was with in this place. I hope they are doing well in life and have found Christ.
Another variable that I believe played an important part in how the furry fandom influenced me from a young age onwards is the family dynamic my family had, or lack thereof. It's not that my parents were bad parents. Both my mom and dad worked long, hard jobs and were understandably tired at the end of the day. I have a profound amount of respect to parents who can manage to give love and devotion to their child at the end of the day if they are also balancing careers. It used to be that at least one parent, usually the mother, could stay home and give the child love and a nurturing environment while the father worked and brought in the income. These days however, familes are encouraged or even required to both work just to be able to afford to raise a family. This often means whereas in the past a child would often have that aforementioned nurturing environment and presence of their mother after school while the father worked, these days families are now often forced to hire a babysitter from a friend or family that they know or worse - leave their child in a daycare facility with people that they often know nothing about. I don't mean to rag on these places. They offer a service for families who have no other alternative - but I really feel that a daycare facility will not give the sort of basic, necessary love and nurturing that a child would get by having at least one parent present at home most if not all of the time while the other works.
As a child both my parents worked. I would often have to walk home from middle school (that's what, around the age of 7-10?) by myself. It wasn't a long walk, but I mean...my parents worked. I'd get home, and the tv would be my babysitter. Do I have any other brothers or sisters out there who fondly remember having cartoons babysit you? Super Mario Bro super show, Ducktales, Rescue Rangers, Talespin, Darkwing Duck. I hope I'm not alone here.
Television kind of worked its way into our family dynamic and had the unhealthy ability to separate us a bit. My mom would watch tv in her room. My dad would watch football/sports or listen to old time radio shows, and I would be in my room watching cartoons. I think my dad even at this earlier time was dealing with a lot of physical pain. He had terrible arthritis pain in his older years, and if I recall, even when I was younger as well. I think he may have used his hobby of listening to old time radio and tv to help mitigate dealing with his pain. As someone who experiences significant physical pain in their arms ever since quitting drugs, I can empathize with my pop. He tried to be a good dad and although his physical ailments limited a lot of stuff he could do, I always felt lucky to have both my mom and dad. But...I will be honest and say there was just this element of separation. We would have our dinners - together at the table earlier on at first, but as time passed and we all got older, we all just kind of ended up taking our meals to our separate rooms.
The reason why I am describing our family dynamic is because I believe that for many furries - the furry fandom replaces this family dynamic. Am I saying that every single person who identifies as a furry came from sexual abuse, a household with no faith-based upbringing, bullying, or limited family dynamic? No, I am not saying this. I'm sure there are exceptions. There may very well be some furries who lived a charmed life, where there was no bullying, a great family dynamic, no bad things that happened to them, and so on. But, ...for many of us, we are survivors of many, many battles. At this point I would like to insert that it is well known among Christians that Satan, the devil, Mr. Horny, the adversary - whatever you wish to call him or however you wish to see him, one of the main attacks he uses is going after the (traditional) family. By this I mean mother, father, children. Anything that will break down the family unit. Anything that will turn parents against their children. Anything that will turn children against their parents or each other. This is the most dangerous and effective tool of the adversary. Because, as Christ Jesus notes in The Holy Bible "If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand." - Mark 3:25
The best, most effective way that the devil can make you into a Godless(atheist, agnostic) person is to cause division within your family. If you are no longer getting the love and validation that you would normally get from your family, you *are* going to look for those things somewhere else. Because of the sexual abuse I suffered at an early age and the weak family dynamic that was in my life, I was more or less raised by the internet. Not kidding. I grew up glued to the computer. I didn't have friends (for the most part) that I did stuff with, but my time spent online looking for friendship, love, and validation was massive. I have a feeling that there are a lot of other furries out there that get a lot of their love, friendship, and validation from the internet.
Although my dad passed on a number of years ago - I will note that my relationship with my mother has become much, much better ever since I have become a Christian and servant of Jesus Christ. One of the reasons for this being the following commandment from the Holy Bible:
"Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with a promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” - Ephesians 6:2-3
My friend, do you realize what this commandment is saying in essence? It is one of the ten commandments that comes with a PROMISE (or threat?) attached to the end of it. Obey your mom and dad. If you don't, the LORD might decide to give you a spanking. I plan on writing a separate journal entry later on that details many interesting ways that the LORD punishes those living in unbelief, as well as how he disciplines believers. The key difference here being those who are punished are unrepentant sinners. They will have bad things happen in their lives and they will not likely put 2 + 2 together and realize this random thing that happened to them is a result because of some sin or bad behavior they did yesterday, or a week or month ago. That is why it is a *punishment*. Those who believe in the LORD and try to live by our Lord Jesus Christ's instruction and who accept His sacrifice understand that we have been forgiven for our sins, but we also understand that this does not mean we get a free pass to go on sinning. If we do a sin or bad behavior and the LORD thinks we ought to have known better or have been able to not fail that test/sin that tempted us, we will be punished as well - but we are punished with a punishment (possibly similar to the sort of bad thing that unbelievers experience) with an understanding and a realization that this bad thing that is happening may have very well happened because we didn't do so well as a Christian when we gave into that sin last week.
But to get back to the commandment. The LORD is saying that you *must* honor your mom and dad. If your mom or your dad asks you to do something - you as the child - do it! Provided the request is not evil or sinful, of course. How can the LORD expect you to be a servant who obeys Him and His Son Jesus Christ if you are not even willing to obey the parent(s) who brought you into the world? There is no way you can be a Christian, a servant of Jesus if you are not willing to obey your parents. It is also noted within Judaic/Bible history that the LORD has a soft spot for orphans and widows. These are two classes of people that at the time (and still to this day) are very, very vulnerable. As a son the LORD expects me to look after my mother. I am currently all she has left who can look after her. Although I am sure I have my moments where I fail my Lord Jesus in behaving as well as I should have, I try very hard to be a good son and a good servant. I know for a fact that if I decided to only think about myself and not care about looking after my elderly mom, that my usefulness in this world would go way down, and I firmly believe that when one's usefulness goes way down in the world, the LORD starts having less and less patience with you. Your days could end up becoming much more limited if the LORD wishes, to put it plainly. I mean, it's right there in the second part of the commandment in The Holy Bible. "So that you may live a long life." Are you a disobedient/bratty son or daughter? Expect curses and punishment until you start showing humility and submission. I'm not kidding!
Getting back to my timeline within furry. We're currently at my exploration of text-based furry themed worlds that incorporate fetish/bdsm and adult activities. This is where I mentioned that I have begun to present as a female furry due to the amount of attention and validation I was receiving. Technology improves - or changes, as time goes on. I would eventually move away from this environment to a more visually/graphic environment that allowed for these same kinds of activities. Where once one had to interact and navigate in strict text/words - now you can interact with others with actual graphic avatars. Think in the context of a video game where you can control a character. So this place I moved onto would let users either design their own avatar or purchase pre-made or customize-able avatars from others. This place would in time have a very prominent furry presence. In my earlier years as an unrepentant sinner I would frequent this place and engage in the same sort of sins and activities that I did in the text based world, except now I had an avatar or character I could look at that could engage in this behavior with other avatars. This was prior to virtual reality being a thing. I'm guessing virtual reality is where a lot of furries spend their time with their avatars now - I don't really know. I never made the jump into VR.
So I sinned and did a lot of lusty things with other people in this world where you could socialize and do things with other people with your very own avatar that you could look at and have move and animate in various ways. It was around 2002-2003 that I moved into this part of my life. To this day I still have a presence in this online world/environment that uses these avatars, though instead of using this program to sin with others, I instead go to these (furry themed) places where people sin and gently, with love - try to bring attention to the sin and state of danger other furries are in. I don't really message people directly to proselytize to them - this sort of behavior will usually end up getting you kicked or banned (you lose access to that area permanently), but rather I have filled out a profile for my character that advocates accepting the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and to flee from sin. My avatar profile has this information for anyone who researches my profile when they see me. I also have a little 'title' above my character's head which is a one line sentence that states that "The only way to find God is through Jesus Christ. Amen!" These are the only two indications with regards to my avatar that I am a Christian and that my presence in this adults-only areas is not because I wish to participate in adult activities, but because I am hoping that other sinners will become curious about my character, or the little blurb of text above my head and that they may research my profile and become saved through Christ Jesus. The avatar I run around as while doing this is a cute little stuffed animal. See below for a picture of my avatar. In it I am at an adult only area bar/hook up place where many furries go to engage in sinful acts. As you can see, I have a guitar out and although it's hard to make out in the still picture, my avatar at the time was doing a cute little rock-out animation with a guitar. No lewd or graphic stuff depicted on the avatar. In this environment however it is extremely common to see furries walking around wearing very little clothing or nothing at all, with everything on display for others to see. This is often a way that furries in these environments will signal to other furries they are interested in engaging in adult behavior with others. Not trying to condemn people for this. I was guilty of doing this very behavior prior to giving my life over to Christ.
Rockin' for Jesus, hoping to win others over to the side of light, truth, and love. I was eventually ejected and banned from this location, along with many other places, simply because I dared to put above my character that you can only be saved through Jesus Christ. Other furries in these locations found this offensive and a worthy enough infraction to banish me from the location. Some choose to love their sin more than they love the one who made them and gave them life and salvation.
Some might ask - If you are a Christian, why go to these places of debauchery where people have adult parts on display and/or engage in sin? That's a great question! I'm glad you asked (or were thinking it, at least). The reason I go to these places currently is because a Christ follower is told to go and be a light unto the nations. We are supposed to go into areas where the darkness is darkest, where the sin is heaviest - where the people are in the most danger and to be a light unto them. To show them the way out of the danger they are in and to save them. They are our brothers and sisters, after all! It was through the grace of GOD that He did not give up on us who are saved - why should we as His servants give up on anyone else who as of yet does not realize the danger they are in? We are His servants. His ambassadors! We are like the NAVY SEALS, ARMY RANGERS, SPECIAL OPS that the LORD sends in to places of sin and iniquity to try and rescue His children. The really wonderful thing is that you can be one of these elite special forces that serves the LORD as well! Just keep in mind you will face people who do not want to hear it, who will not tolerate it, who will tell you to leave, kick you out, make fun of you, harass or troll you, etc. As a special forces soldier you MUST take all these spiritual attacks with GOOD FAITH. By this I mean you do not get upset! You must expect this behavior. Many people deep in sin are sort of like under a spell by demons, devils, and the sins they have been tempted into committing. Unless/until the individual realizes they have been duped by this world and the spiritual forces in it into behaving and engaging in actions and behavior that separates them from GOD, they will fight you tooth and nail to not "wake them up". How does that quote from a very well known movie go? (The Matrix)
“The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it." - Morpheus
This is very similar to how Christians see the world - with a difference in that we try not to see someone as an enemy. At least where other humans are concerned. We are even told to return good for evil, rather than evil for evil, and to love our enemies:
"Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing." - 1 Peter 3:9
If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,and the Lord will reward you." -Proverbs 25:21-22
(I think, what this is essentially saying is by being kind and loving to even those seen as 'enemy' designation, you are showing the LORD's love and mercy through your actions, and it becomes much harder for accusations to be made against you.
So one of the things you will *have* to get used to as a servant of Jesus Christ is being heckled, hassled, harassed, accused, persecuted. Don't sweat it! This comes with the territory of being a Christian. Consider yourself blessed if and when this happens, for:
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when people insult you,
persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. - Matthew 5:9-11
^^^ These are the words of our Savior Jesus Christ. He is essentially telling His servants - "Look how the world treated me, who came to die for you and save you from all your sins. If they persecuted me, your Master, they will also persecute you, my servants"
So expect it! If you are not receiving ridicule or persecution, perhaps you need to up your game and start shaking the boat a little more? You can choose to be a Christian who minds their own, never making waves or stirring the water - but the LORD desires servants who burn and are on fire for Him! Be like His obedient angels! Burn for the LORD! Serve the LORD! Do not keep this precious gift of salvation and entry into the LORD's eternal kingdom to just yourself! That would be very selfish, would it not? Go out into the world and be a light to others. Even if they claw and scratch at you - accept the wounds as a brother or sister showing love to the person who is fighting you and doing their best to hold onto the sin and darkness in their heart. Don't let go of them! Once you die and move on from this world - any and all chances you would have had to bring others with you are thus lost, and those souls potentially lost and separated from the LORD as well. As I have stated in former journal entries, there is ...no easy way to describe what it is like when you have an actual relationship with the LORD the Living God, Creator of all things - and His Son, also GOD, manifest in the flesh who gave His life to save us because of our sins.
So make a commitment my brothers and sisters! You /can/ get His attention but you have to be willing to be ok with suffering and ridicule. You have to be ok with taking that longer, steeper, uphill path that so many opt to ignore for a much easier, gentle sloping path that gradually goes downwards. The upwards path takes you closer to God. You will experience Him in whatever unique way the LORD makes Himself known in your life. The downwards path takes you further and further away from him. If you really want to have a life where you never suddenly find the Lord interacting with you - you are welcome to choose that life. But after having lived both ways, without and now with the LORD - the former way seems so very scary and unfathomable to me. I would never go back to it. Not willingly.
Lets take a look at some data from https://adjectivespecies.com/2015/08/24/furry-demographics/
I realize that the data is a bit dated, but it is the best I could come up with for now.
Some of the data that *really* stood out to me was the ratio of males to females within the furry fandom.
That's an 80/20 male to female ratio from the data surveyed. This seems incredibly bizarre to have such a lopsided presence of males to females. What could be the reason for this? Why is it that going by this sample of data it seems that males are much more likely to be drawn into furry culture as opposed to females? Most of us who have been in the furry fandom for any length of time know very well how we have a reputation for being easy/accepting/open when it comes to sex or having sex with others in the community. Could the general ease with which young males are exposed to or can acquire furry pornography and/or erotic roleplay have an enticement effect on drawing young males into the fandom? I don't know if that is playing a part in the demographics here, but the gap does not seem normal for a community that was as populated as it was even in the early 2010's.
The next graph shows an alarming trend/effect within furry:
Years in the fandom vs. sexual orientation
"Furry Survey data shows that new furries are much more likely to be heterosexual, with an obvious trend towards homosexuality over time." Furries tend to re-evaluate their sexual preference in the first five years or so of joining the community.
The above is quoted from the web page that this data is sampled from. The person involved in analyzing this data is essentially saying that when joining furry (most of which is usually at a younger age) - people tend to be heterosexual, with what seems to be a strange behavior of changing this preference to bisexual or homosexual the longer they spend time within furry.
This seems bizarre to me, and indicative of ...something happening. The person analyzing the data includes the thoughts of someone who goes by the name of "JM Horse" who seems to indicate that in their belief, it's the general inclusive and open atmosphere of furry fandom that allows a new furry to "find their true nature" to put it one way. His way of describing why young heterosexual furries seem to switch/change to bisexual or homosexual over time is that these individuals were just in too restrictive of an environment to begin with prior to finding the furry fandom. It's not that furry "made them gay" but rather, that they were likely to be this way the whole time, and only by entering into furry fandom were they allowed to find this 'true self' version of themselves - which essentially paints the furry fandom in a positive light. JM Horse is essentially saying that the environment these young adults were in prior to identifying as furry was not allowing them to be their true selves, whereas joining the furry fandom let them be who they really were deep down.
I don't know that I really agree with this hypothesis. I am guessing that JM Horse is a furry. Their sexual orientation is not stated, so we have no way of knowing if they are heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual. So there may be a self-serving bias to frame the data in a way that serves to put furry and this phenomenon of heterosexual-to-homosexual conversion in a beneficial light. When I used to identify as transgender - I can tell you that without a doubt I would be very quick to adopt this hypothesis to try and explain this phenomenon as well. Because, at the time, seeing it that way serves and protects my interests as a furry /and/ transgender individual. It safeguards against anyone being able to say that this might be indicative of something else going on.
What do I mean by something else? Well, as someone who has been on both sides of the fence - now a Christian who identifies as heterosexual, I could just as equally advance a hypothesis much like JM Horse does, but in a direction that does *not* put furry in a positive light. I could hypothesize that being exposed to a hypersexualized and "sex-ok" environment with a culture that is extremely inclusive and accepts/promotes a LGBTQ+ way of living as potentially having an influence on individuals to put them in situations where they might not otherwise be encouraged to try and engage in activities that seem to be seen as normal and acceptable.
Like I said in my earlier journal on furry fandom's lust problem - if you go to Furaffinity and make an account, and try reloading their front page with the filter turned off, it should not take very long to get pornographic material rolling across your screen. If you as a young adult enter into an environment that promotes and encourages and seems to push the general belief that 'It's ok to have sex with friends, casual sex is no big deal' - then it should be no surprise that those without certain faith-based moral safeguards would sooner or later begin experimenting and indulging in this behavior where they may not have if they had never been exposed to this environment(furry) in the first place.
We also have seen from the data that you will face a much harder time as a male finding a female to get together with. Could it be possible that many of these young adults come into furry fandom as heterosexuals, are unable to find a furry lady to call their own - and rather than deal with the idea of going 'out' of furry and back into the non furry venues to find someone, they instead choose to settle in a way and try just finding another male within the community that they get along with instead? I honestly have no idea. I'm just wondering if this can be something that happens to some individuals based on the earlier 80/20 split that we see from the polled data.
On the subject of moral/faith based safeguards that protect young adults from engaging in risky/casual sex - we are able to also examine polled data based on religious beliefs:
The person analyzing the data from the web page notes the following: "We asked for more detail when furs responded "other". Something broadly atheistic was the most common response by far."
So this means that generally, about 23-25% of furries polled identify as some form of Christian faith, while a whopping 67-70% of furries polled seem to identify as having no faith based beliefs or are generally uncertain.
The person analyzing the data then states: "For comparison, 71% of Americans, 67% of Canadians, and 60% of Brits identify as Christian."
That seems pretty interesting. Although near three quarters of the US population identify as Christian in their beliefs as of this survey taken, it is fairly correct to assume that only somewhere around 23-25% of furries identify as Christian, while that 70% number instead switches to those who *do not* believe in God or are uncertain.
This could go a long way in explaining why there is such a casual acceptance within furry with regards to sexual situations and the consumption or approval of (furry) pornography. We are a collective of individuals who are much more likely to have no faith-based morals or views with regards to immoral behavior in the area of sex. As far as close to 3 out of 4 furries in the fandom are concerned, "If it feels good, do it."
When I became a Christian, one of the things I came to accept is that even though I was bullied terribly as a child. Even though I was sexually abused, even though I didn't have the greatest family dynamic or a lot of friends - none of that matters. I was made by GOD! He took the time to make me for some specific and special purpose. This is something that every Christian learns. Everyone has a purpose, everyone has a special place. Every human life has worth and value. The LORD does not make mistakes! When I saw myself as transgender, I would often obsess over body hair, or facial hair. I spent so much of my time shaving to try to present myself in such a way that I had online from a younger age. I obsessed over my body. My thoughts were often on myself and the pain I had to deal with. How could there be a God if it was His desire to make me have to live in a body that I felt did not truly represent how I really was? Or maybe there was no God and I was just the result of some strange cosmic mistake? Who knows?
But being a Christian means you realize you do have worth. You have worth and are loved by the LORD and there's nothing wrong with you the way the LORD made you. It was just that due to a variety of very traumatic events and circumstances that happened over my lifetime - I received some form of fake happiness and validation telling myself that I was this thing that I really was not. But was I truly happy? Not really - no matter how much I would tell myself that I was this way - it was a constant struggle. Letting go of that and just accepting myself as how I came into the world freed me from all that worry, all that stress, all that irritation. For me, identifying as transgender meant that there is no God - or that there is a God, but He is so cruel that for some reason I couldn't understand, He made me to suffer this indignity where everyone would see me as the opposite of how I truly felt I was.
And if there is one thing I've learned from taking the time to read The Holy Bible, to going to church, to being brave enough to be willing to accept a path where you are warned you will be ridiculed and mocked for walking it - it is that God is actually incredibly patient and merciful. Despite all the mistakes and screw-ups I've made in my lifetime, He gave me a way that I could be saved and at the end of this life, I could go and be with Him and accepted by Him, no questions asked. All I needed to do was accept what Jesus Christ did for me, and accept myself as the LORD made me. Thank you, Lord Jesus.
I would like to again thank all my readers who have been following along with me so far in my journal. I realize that faith and religion is a very sensitive topic, as is sexual orientation/preference - so I am going to be writing on this subject matter with respect and out of a desire to show how my journey through the furry fandom while identifying as a LGBTQ+ individual has impacted me in life, and how things have changed since I have become a born again Christian. It is not my intention or desire to make anyone feel hurt, harassed, or intimidated with this entry. I spent around fifteen years of my life in the LGBTQ+ community. I realize and understand that words can hurt and in an effort to show that I love you - my brother or sister who is kind enough to follow along with me in my journals so far, I will do my absolute very best to write in a way and tone that is respectful and considerate to everyone who feels this subject points to or relates to.
Again, this is just a recollection of my experiences, then and now, with comparisons made. I realize my experience is not the average experience for every individual out there. If while going through my life's story, you don't feel anything is applicable to you - I understand and respect that.
This journal entry is going to involve discussion about LGBTQ+ as it pertains to and its impact on my personal life, as well as the LGBTQ+ presence within furry fandom.
This journal will be utilizing data from polls and surveys sampled among the furry population that gives a breakdown of various demographics. The sample/poll data can be found and researched in further detail at: https://adjectivespecies.com/2015/08/24/furry-demographics/
The reason for this is because I wish to incorporate scientific research methods and data to collaborate my thoughts and theories with regard to furry and LGBTQ+ aspects/culture within the furry fandom.
To begin, I believe that a large number of people who become involved with the furry fandom do so because there is an element of openness, acceptance, and inclusion that goes along with the animal/human fantasy element that the furry fandom is well known for. It is true - those of us who identify as furry will tell you that we really enjoy being a part of this community because we can, in some way or another - be, or roleplay, or have some sort of link with a version of ourselves that we get a lot of happiness, fun, and enjoyment out of. By 'version of ourselves' - I mean how a great number of furries usually have an avatar within furry that represents who they are that incorporates animal, human, or most often a mixture of these two elements. Being in the furry fandom means you can have the ability to construct a character to represent yourself in a way that you would choose to be if you could be part human, part animal. There is a lot of diversity and furries can be really imaginative and creative with how we choose to present ourselves within the community.
It's a pretty natural human desire to want to be accepted, appreciated, and loved for who you are. I think just about most children want to feel these emotions from others. Adults as well. I can't really speak with regards to anyone's life lived but my own - but I will say that my childhood was very, very rough. I was bullied very heavily when I was a very little child. Other kids would make fun of me because I was overweight at this time. My parents at the time were also heavy smokers, so the house would become filled with cigarette smoke and when I would go to (middle school, junior high), kids and teachers would make the assumption that I was smoking and would either make fun of me or confront me about this due to the smell of cigarettes on my clothes. I hated cigarettes as a child because of how noxious their smell was. To this day I still cannot stand them - so I guess in a way I have those experiences as a child to thank because they protected me from ever giving in to this addiction. I experimented with cigarettes as I grew older, but it never became something that I stuck with after I tried them and it lost its taboo.
So as a little child I was bullied. I would try to make friends and I would either be made fun of, or other kids I would try to befriend would run from, or make fun of me. I was lucky enough to have a good friend here and there, but I remember quite a lot of instances of bullying as a general rule. Having remarks made about my weight, being spit on, being pantsed in public view of other children by bullies (this can be a devastating event to a young child's mind). This is just the things that I can recall off the top of my head. I'm sure there were other bad days. Kids can be very cruel.
The next part of my story is a part that I generally never really share with anyone at all. Ever. Basically, I was molested sexually as a child by a childhood friend. This friend was older than me. I can't really remember how much - maybe by a few years? But if I'm not mistaken in my time line - I think I was aged anywhere from 9-13 at the time when I was taken advantage of. This was before anyone had really told me anything about sex, why you should or shouldn't do it, etc. I was just a child, and this friend involved me in something that I thought was something new and taboo to try at my young age. The whole 'X or Y activity is taboo' is a thing for young children. Anything that you are not supposed to do has this air of mystery about it and children are usually very curious. This is why firearms are supposed to be locked up and secured. It's why alcohol is not to be left in a place where children can gain access to it. There are too many news stories where a child somehow gained access to a parents' firearm or a bottle of alcohol and tragedy or near tragedy follows.
So I didn't really have anyone to protect me or tell me at the time that I was being taken advantage of as a child. This slightly older friend came into and eventually went out of my life, but looking back in retrospect I do believe the damage had already been done. By damage - I mean the fact that as a child all I had to operate on now at this point is that sex equals feel good pleasure sensations. Because of what had been done to me at such a young age - I equated sex as something you do with another person for fun and to feel good, and it is something friends can do. My household was not very religious in any sense of the word, so I never had the moral upbringing that you get with certain faiths such as Christianity that teaches how sex is a miraculous act given to us by the LORD so that we can show our love for a spouse as well as share in the unique power that the LORD has in being able to create new life with someone we love.
I never got told that. I was never warned about the road I would be going down by just having this belief that if someone you like and trust touches you and does things with you that feels good - there's no danger in that. But I am going to tell you just how incorrect I was in this assumption.
The reason why I believe this was and is a danger is because sexual abuse at an early age of this nature encourages the child to seek out similar encounters as they grow. Whether by themselves, that is, touching and masturbation which can then lead to dangerous and destructive immoral habits such as consumption or production of pornography, or by engaging in risk-taking behavior such as flings, one night-stands with other people whom they deem as "safe, to be trusted, a friend". Unless or until that child comes to the realization and acceptance that they were molested and sexually abused and had sex introduced to them in a immoral way that is a perversion of how the LORD meant us to engage in and enjoy the act, there is a very real danger that they will be, in my humble opinion, much more likely to indulge in sexual behavior with other individuals than if they had never been abused in the first place. I believe that having a strong family dynamic with the mother and father as well as an integration of faith that incorporates instruction and guidance on behaving morally also protects against this sort of behavior - but when you either introduce child sexual abuse and/or remove the Christian/faith element from a family, or in worst case scenarios such as mine - both column A and B - you are left with a child (and subsequent adult) that is in much danger, and much more likely to behave differently with regards to how they view and engage in acts of intimacy with others.
Remember the link I provided earlier that has demographic survey data taken from within the furry fandom? There is some interesting information there, and I will get to it in a moment. I really wish they had included in their questionnaires a question that asks the individual if they had a strong/good family dynamic and whether or not that individual had ever suffered sexual abuse when they were young. At least one of these questions is a tough sell to ask someone because it is very personal in nature, but if people answered truthfully it could give us an interesting look into whether or not there is a significant number of furries who were abused and exposed to sex at an early age. Again, given that there seems to be a sort of "It's OK" mentality within furry with regards to being sexual with others, I really have to wonder, here. Anyone who has experience with learning about Christianity and other faiths realize that sexual promiscuity is something that is generally regarded as bad. Bad for you. Bad for the person who is your bf/gf or husband/wife, and bad for the society/culture that is promoting sexual promiscuity as well. When traditional marriage breaks down and people start sleeping around inside of and outside of marriage, diseases proliferate, children are born out of wedlock, parents do not commit to their responsibility to the other person they had the child with, or the child. In other words, there is much opportunity for bad things to happen that marriage protects against.
Because I never really had a Christian upbringing nor was I taught about the dangers of sin and immoral behavior - sexually or otherwise, I very early on in the furry fandom started looking for ways to find approval and acceptance from other furries online in ways that I had received it when I was a young child. And as I have stated in an earlier journal entry, there is *no* shortage of online furry themed places where you can either view pornographic furry art or engage in adult erotic roleplay with other furries. Such areas include but are not limited to IRC (internet relay chat) - a sort of place with many themed chat rooms where you can interact with other furries and engage in erotic roleplay. I remember the last time I checked that many of the themes of these chat rooms were adult/fetish in nature. Other places include Mucks - text-based world/environments where you could "run into" other furry characters of all sorts and begin roleplay interactions with them. One such place I frequented very early on was one of these worlds that touts being an area where furries can explore and interact socially, while also being introduced to and indulging in BDSM. In the fetish/kink community, this is an abbreviation for bondage-dominance-sadism-masochism. Not going to get into what it means. You can probably guess. This world had many, many other furries on it roleplaying their characters. The world was actually set up in such a way where you can add specific flags, or keywords, to let other people know what you were into, as far as your fetishes or sexual interests are concerned. I will just say that there was something for everyone, there.
It was while I was in this online roleplay community that I found out that I would get much MUCH more attention if I roleplayed or presented myself as a female furry instead of what I was in the real world - a male furry. I do not recall specifically the breakdown of male/female players in this text-based community I was a part of, but it was without a doubt much easier to get 'attention' from others if you presented as a female instead of a male. So this was where I begun to present myself as female within the furry fandom. My first character(s) in this environment were overwhelmingly female. I don't have a way to prove this to anyone, but it is my belief that by entering into and roleplaying this lie - for what would be years, in a way that involved adult interactions with others, would over time influence and lead me into believing "Hey, why can't I just say "I AM" female? Although most characters in this environment either identified as male/female in their character description - there were some that identified or presented as transsexual or transgender. I personally feel that the combination of learning about these terms at this young point in my life along with engaging in a perpetual lie - presenting and roleplaying as something I was not would eventually lead to me believing the lie. It is said that if you engage in a lie and tell a lie long enough you will begin to see the lie as truth. I believe that this is something that took place in my mind. I was receiving so much more acceptance and attention from others in this environment with a female character. Why would I not want to roll with that? And here within the furry community and in this text based world being gay or bi was very much accepted alongside anyone who identified as heterosexual, so why wouldn't you be accepted as someone who was a physical sex who 'felt' they were the opposite sex inside as well? It seemed like the perfect world. The perfect community. Love and tolerance and acceptance. Even though a lot of the love I was receiving at the time was involving the sin of lust, erotic roleplay online with people who would come into my life for awhile, then eventually fade out of it. I still remember a number of names of the people I was with in this place. I hope they are doing well in life and have found Christ.
Another variable that I believe played an important part in how the furry fandom influenced me from a young age onwards is the family dynamic my family had, or lack thereof. It's not that my parents were bad parents. Both my mom and dad worked long, hard jobs and were understandably tired at the end of the day. I have a profound amount of respect to parents who can manage to give love and devotion to their child at the end of the day if they are also balancing careers. It used to be that at least one parent, usually the mother, could stay home and give the child love and a nurturing environment while the father worked and brought in the income. These days however, familes are encouraged or even required to both work just to be able to afford to raise a family. This often means whereas in the past a child would often have that aforementioned nurturing environment and presence of their mother after school while the father worked, these days families are now often forced to hire a babysitter from a friend or family that they know or worse - leave their child in a daycare facility with people that they often know nothing about. I don't mean to rag on these places. They offer a service for families who have no other alternative - but I really feel that a daycare facility will not give the sort of basic, necessary love and nurturing that a child would get by having at least one parent present at home most if not all of the time while the other works.
As a child both my parents worked. I would often have to walk home from middle school (that's what, around the age of 7-10?) by myself. It wasn't a long walk, but I mean...my parents worked. I'd get home, and the tv would be my babysitter. Do I have any other brothers or sisters out there who fondly remember having cartoons babysit you? Super Mario Bro super show, Ducktales, Rescue Rangers, Talespin, Darkwing Duck. I hope I'm not alone here.
Television kind of worked its way into our family dynamic and had the unhealthy ability to separate us a bit. My mom would watch tv in her room. My dad would watch football/sports or listen to old time radio shows, and I would be in my room watching cartoons. I think my dad even at this earlier time was dealing with a lot of physical pain. He had terrible arthritis pain in his older years, and if I recall, even when I was younger as well. I think he may have used his hobby of listening to old time radio and tv to help mitigate dealing with his pain. As someone who experiences significant physical pain in their arms ever since quitting drugs, I can empathize with my pop. He tried to be a good dad and although his physical ailments limited a lot of stuff he could do, I always felt lucky to have both my mom and dad. But...I will be honest and say there was just this element of separation. We would have our dinners - together at the table earlier on at first, but as time passed and we all got older, we all just kind of ended up taking our meals to our separate rooms.
The reason why I am describing our family dynamic is because I believe that for many furries - the furry fandom replaces this family dynamic. Am I saying that every single person who identifies as a furry came from sexual abuse, a household with no faith-based upbringing, bullying, or limited family dynamic? No, I am not saying this. I'm sure there are exceptions. There may very well be some furries who lived a charmed life, where there was no bullying, a great family dynamic, no bad things that happened to them, and so on. But, ...for many of us, we are survivors of many, many battles. At this point I would like to insert that it is well known among Christians that Satan, the devil, Mr. Horny, the adversary - whatever you wish to call him or however you wish to see him, one of the main attacks he uses is going after the (traditional) family. By this I mean mother, father, children. Anything that will break down the family unit. Anything that will turn parents against their children. Anything that will turn children against their parents or each other. This is the most dangerous and effective tool of the adversary. Because, as Christ Jesus notes in The Holy Bible "If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand." - Mark 3:25
The best, most effective way that the devil can make you into a Godless(atheist, agnostic) person is to cause division within your family. If you are no longer getting the love and validation that you would normally get from your family, you *are* going to look for those things somewhere else. Because of the sexual abuse I suffered at an early age and the weak family dynamic that was in my life, I was more or less raised by the internet. Not kidding. I grew up glued to the computer. I didn't have friends (for the most part) that I did stuff with, but my time spent online looking for friendship, love, and validation was massive. I have a feeling that there are a lot of other furries out there that get a lot of their love, friendship, and validation from the internet.
Although my dad passed on a number of years ago - I will note that my relationship with my mother has become much, much better ever since I have become a Christian and servant of Jesus Christ. One of the reasons for this being the following commandment from the Holy Bible:
"Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with a promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” - Ephesians 6:2-3
My friend, do you realize what this commandment is saying in essence? It is one of the ten commandments that comes with a PROMISE (or threat?) attached to the end of it. Obey your mom and dad. If you don't, the LORD might decide to give you a spanking. I plan on writing a separate journal entry later on that details many interesting ways that the LORD punishes those living in unbelief, as well as how he disciplines believers. The key difference here being those who are punished are unrepentant sinners. They will have bad things happen in their lives and they will not likely put 2 + 2 together and realize this random thing that happened to them is a result because of some sin or bad behavior they did yesterday, or a week or month ago. That is why it is a *punishment*. Those who believe in the LORD and try to live by our Lord Jesus Christ's instruction and who accept His sacrifice understand that we have been forgiven for our sins, but we also understand that this does not mean we get a free pass to go on sinning. If we do a sin or bad behavior and the LORD thinks we ought to have known better or have been able to not fail that test/sin that tempted us, we will be punished as well - but we are punished with a punishment (possibly similar to the sort of bad thing that unbelievers experience) with an understanding and a realization that this bad thing that is happening may have very well happened because we didn't do so well as a Christian when we gave into that sin last week.
But to get back to the commandment. The LORD is saying that you *must* honor your mom and dad. If your mom or your dad asks you to do something - you as the child - do it! Provided the request is not evil or sinful, of course. How can the LORD expect you to be a servant who obeys Him and His Son Jesus Christ if you are not even willing to obey the parent(s) who brought you into the world? There is no way you can be a Christian, a servant of Jesus if you are not willing to obey your parents. It is also noted within Judaic/Bible history that the LORD has a soft spot for orphans and widows. These are two classes of people that at the time (and still to this day) are very, very vulnerable. As a son the LORD expects me to look after my mother. I am currently all she has left who can look after her. Although I am sure I have my moments where I fail my Lord Jesus in behaving as well as I should have, I try very hard to be a good son and a good servant. I know for a fact that if I decided to only think about myself and not care about looking after my elderly mom, that my usefulness in this world would go way down, and I firmly believe that when one's usefulness goes way down in the world, the LORD starts having less and less patience with you. Your days could end up becoming much more limited if the LORD wishes, to put it plainly. I mean, it's right there in the second part of the commandment in The Holy Bible. "So that you may live a long life." Are you a disobedient/bratty son or daughter? Expect curses and punishment until you start showing humility and submission. I'm not kidding!
Getting back to my timeline within furry. We're currently at my exploration of text-based furry themed worlds that incorporate fetish/bdsm and adult activities. This is where I mentioned that I have begun to present as a female furry due to the amount of attention and validation I was receiving. Technology improves - or changes, as time goes on. I would eventually move away from this environment to a more visually/graphic environment that allowed for these same kinds of activities. Where once one had to interact and navigate in strict text/words - now you can interact with others with actual graphic avatars. Think in the context of a video game where you can control a character. So this place I moved onto would let users either design their own avatar or purchase pre-made or customize-able avatars from others. This place would in time have a very prominent furry presence. In my earlier years as an unrepentant sinner I would frequent this place and engage in the same sort of sins and activities that I did in the text based world, except now I had an avatar or character I could look at that could engage in this behavior with other avatars. This was prior to virtual reality being a thing. I'm guessing virtual reality is where a lot of furries spend their time with their avatars now - I don't really know. I never made the jump into VR.
So I sinned and did a lot of lusty things with other people in this world where you could socialize and do things with other people with your very own avatar that you could look at and have move and animate in various ways. It was around 2002-2003 that I moved into this part of my life. To this day I still have a presence in this online world/environment that uses these avatars, though instead of using this program to sin with others, I instead go to these (furry themed) places where people sin and gently, with love - try to bring attention to the sin and state of danger other furries are in. I don't really message people directly to proselytize to them - this sort of behavior will usually end up getting you kicked or banned (you lose access to that area permanently), but rather I have filled out a profile for my character that advocates accepting the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and to flee from sin. My avatar profile has this information for anyone who researches my profile when they see me. I also have a little 'title' above my character's head which is a one line sentence that states that "The only way to find God is through Jesus Christ. Amen!" These are the only two indications with regards to my avatar that I am a Christian and that my presence in this adults-only areas is not because I wish to participate in adult activities, but because I am hoping that other sinners will become curious about my character, or the little blurb of text above my head and that they may research my profile and become saved through Christ Jesus. The avatar I run around as while doing this is a cute little stuffed animal. See below for a picture of my avatar. In it I am at an adult only area bar/hook up place where many furries go to engage in sinful acts. As you can see, I have a guitar out and although it's hard to make out in the still picture, my avatar at the time was doing a cute little rock-out animation with a guitar. No lewd or graphic stuff depicted on the avatar. In this environment however it is extremely common to see furries walking around wearing very little clothing or nothing at all, with everything on display for others to see. This is often a way that furries in these environments will signal to other furries they are interested in engaging in adult behavior with others. Not trying to condemn people for this. I was guilty of doing this very behavior prior to giving my life over to Christ.
Rockin' for Jesus, hoping to win others over to the side of light, truth, and love. I was eventually ejected and banned from this location, along with many other places, simply because I dared to put above my character that you can only be saved through Jesus Christ. Other furries in these locations found this offensive and a worthy enough infraction to banish me from the location. Some choose to love their sin more than they love the one who made them and gave them life and salvation.
Some might ask - If you are a Christian, why go to these places of debauchery where people have adult parts on display and/or engage in sin? That's a great question! I'm glad you asked (or were thinking it, at least). The reason I go to these places currently is because a Christ follower is told to go and be a light unto the nations. We are supposed to go into areas where the darkness is darkest, where the sin is heaviest - where the people are in the most danger and to be a light unto them. To show them the way out of the danger they are in and to save them. They are our brothers and sisters, after all! It was through the grace of GOD that He did not give up on us who are saved - why should we as His servants give up on anyone else who as of yet does not realize the danger they are in? We are His servants. His ambassadors! We are like the NAVY SEALS, ARMY RANGERS, SPECIAL OPS that the LORD sends in to places of sin and iniquity to try and rescue His children. The really wonderful thing is that you can be one of these elite special forces that serves the LORD as well! Just keep in mind you will face people who do not want to hear it, who will not tolerate it, who will tell you to leave, kick you out, make fun of you, harass or troll you, etc. As a special forces soldier you MUST take all these spiritual attacks with GOOD FAITH. By this I mean you do not get upset! You must expect this behavior. Many people deep in sin are sort of like under a spell by demons, devils, and the sins they have been tempted into committing. Unless/until the individual realizes they have been duped by this world and the spiritual forces in it into behaving and engaging in actions and behavior that separates them from GOD, they will fight you tooth and nail to not "wake them up". How does that quote from a very well known movie go? (The Matrix)
“The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it." - Morpheus
This is very similar to how Christians see the world - with a difference in that we try not to see someone as an enemy. At least where other humans are concerned. We are even told to return good for evil, rather than evil for evil, and to love our enemies:
"Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing." - 1 Peter 3:9
If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,and the Lord will reward you." -Proverbs 25:21-22
(I think, what this is essentially saying is by being kind and loving to even those seen as 'enemy' designation, you are showing the LORD's love and mercy through your actions, and it becomes much harder for accusations to be made against you.
So one of the things you will *have* to get used to as a servant of Jesus Christ is being heckled, hassled, harassed, accused, persecuted. Don't sweat it! This comes with the territory of being a Christian. Consider yourself blessed if and when this happens, for:
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when people insult you,
persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. - Matthew 5:9-11
^^^ These are the words of our Savior Jesus Christ. He is essentially telling His servants - "Look how the world treated me, who came to die for you and save you from all your sins. If they persecuted me, your Master, they will also persecute you, my servants"
So expect it! If you are not receiving ridicule or persecution, perhaps you need to up your game and start shaking the boat a little more? You can choose to be a Christian who minds their own, never making waves or stirring the water - but the LORD desires servants who burn and are on fire for Him! Be like His obedient angels! Burn for the LORD! Serve the LORD! Do not keep this precious gift of salvation and entry into the LORD's eternal kingdom to just yourself! That would be very selfish, would it not? Go out into the world and be a light to others. Even if they claw and scratch at you - accept the wounds as a brother or sister showing love to the person who is fighting you and doing their best to hold onto the sin and darkness in their heart. Don't let go of them! Once you die and move on from this world - any and all chances you would have had to bring others with you are thus lost, and those souls potentially lost and separated from the LORD as well. As I have stated in former journal entries, there is ...no easy way to describe what it is like when you have an actual relationship with the LORD the Living God, Creator of all things - and His Son, also GOD, manifest in the flesh who gave His life to save us because of our sins.
So make a commitment my brothers and sisters! You /can/ get His attention but you have to be willing to be ok with suffering and ridicule. You have to be ok with taking that longer, steeper, uphill path that so many opt to ignore for a much easier, gentle sloping path that gradually goes downwards. The upwards path takes you closer to God. You will experience Him in whatever unique way the LORD makes Himself known in your life. The downwards path takes you further and further away from him. If you really want to have a life where you never suddenly find the Lord interacting with you - you are welcome to choose that life. But after having lived both ways, without and now with the LORD - the former way seems so very scary and unfathomable to me. I would never go back to it. Not willingly.
Lets take a look at some data from https://adjectivespecies.com/2015/08/24/furry-demographics/
I realize that the data is a bit dated, but it is the best I could come up with for now.
Some of the data that *really* stood out to me was the ratio of males to females within the furry fandom.
That's an 80/20 male to female ratio from the data surveyed. This seems incredibly bizarre to have such a lopsided presence of males to females. What could be the reason for this? Why is it that going by this sample of data it seems that males are much more likely to be drawn into furry culture as opposed to females? Most of us who have been in the furry fandom for any length of time know very well how we have a reputation for being easy/accepting/open when it comes to sex or having sex with others in the community. Could the general ease with which young males are exposed to or can acquire furry pornography and/or erotic roleplay have an enticement effect on drawing young males into the fandom? I don't know if that is playing a part in the demographics here, but the gap does not seem normal for a community that was as populated as it was even in the early 2010's.
The next graph shows an alarming trend/effect within furry:
Years in the fandom vs. sexual orientation
"Furry Survey data shows that new furries are much more likely to be heterosexual, with an obvious trend towards homosexuality over time." Furries tend to re-evaluate their sexual preference in the first five years or so of joining the community.
The above is quoted from the web page that this data is sampled from. The person involved in analyzing this data is essentially saying that when joining furry (most of which is usually at a younger age) - people tend to be heterosexual, with what seems to be a strange behavior of changing this preference to bisexual or homosexual the longer they spend time within furry.
This seems bizarre to me, and indicative of ...something happening. The person analyzing the data includes the thoughts of someone who goes by the name of "JM Horse" who seems to indicate that in their belief, it's the general inclusive and open atmosphere of furry fandom that allows a new furry to "find their true nature" to put it one way. His way of describing why young heterosexual furries seem to switch/change to bisexual or homosexual over time is that these individuals were just in too restrictive of an environment to begin with prior to finding the furry fandom. It's not that furry "made them gay" but rather, that they were likely to be this way the whole time, and only by entering into furry fandom were they allowed to find this 'true self' version of themselves - which essentially paints the furry fandom in a positive light. JM Horse is essentially saying that the environment these young adults were in prior to identifying as furry was not allowing them to be their true selves, whereas joining the furry fandom let them be who they really were deep down.
I don't know that I really agree with this hypothesis. I am guessing that JM Horse is a furry. Their sexual orientation is not stated, so we have no way of knowing if they are heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual. So there may be a self-serving bias to frame the data in a way that serves to put furry and this phenomenon of heterosexual-to-homosexual conversion in a beneficial light. When I used to identify as transgender - I can tell you that without a doubt I would be very quick to adopt this hypothesis to try and explain this phenomenon as well. Because, at the time, seeing it that way serves and protects my interests as a furry /and/ transgender individual. It safeguards against anyone being able to say that this might be indicative of something else going on.
What do I mean by something else? Well, as someone who has been on both sides of the fence - now a Christian who identifies as heterosexual, I could just as equally advance a hypothesis much like JM Horse does, but in a direction that does *not* put furry in a positive light. I could hypothesize that being exposed to a hypersexualized and "sex-ok" environment with a culture that is extremely inclusive and accepts/promotes a LGBTQ+ way of living as potentially having an influence on individuals to put them in situations where they might not otherwise be encouraged to try and engage in activities that seem to be seen as normal and acceptable.
Like I said in my earlier journal on furry fandom's lust problem - if you go to Furaffinity and make an account, and try reloading their front page with the filter turned off, it should not take very long to get pornographic material rolling across your screen. If you as a young adult enter into an environment that promotes and encourages and seems to push the general belief that 'It's ok to have sex with friends, casual sex is no big deal' - then it should be no surprise that those without certain faith-based moral safeguards would sooner or later begin experimenting and indulging in this behavior where they may not have if they had never been exposed to this environment(furry) in the first place.
We also have seen from the data that you will face a much harder time as a male finding a female to get together with. Could it be possible that many of these young adults come into furry fandom as heterosexuals, are unable to find a furry lady to call their own - and rather than deal with the idea of going 'out' of furry and back into the non furry venues to find someone, they instead choose to settle in a way and try just finding another male within the community that they get along with instead? I honestly have no idea. I'm just wondering if this can be something that happens to some individuals based on the earlier 80/20 split that we see from the polled data.
On the subject of moral/faith based safeguards that protect young adults from engaging in risky/casual sex - we are able to also examine polled data based on religious beliefs:
The person analyzing the data from the web page notes the following: "We asked for more detail when furs responded "other". Something broadly atheistic was the most common response by far."
So this means that generally, about 23-25% of furries polled identify as some form of Christian faith, while a whopping 67-70% of furries polled seem to identify as having no faith based beliefs or are generally uncertain.
The person analyzing the data then states: "For comparison, 71% of Americans, 67% of Canadians, and 60% of Brits identify as Christian."
That seems pretty interesting. Although near three quarters of the US population identify as Christian in their beliefs as of this survey taken, it is fairly correct to assume that only somewhere around 23-25% of furries identify as Christian, while that 70% number instead switches to those who *do not* believe in God or are uncertain.
This could go a long way in explaining why there is such a casual acceptance within furry with regards to sexual situations and the consumption or approval of (furry) pornography. We are a collective of individuals who are much more likely to have no faith-based morals or views with regards to immoral behavior in the area of sex. As far as close to 3 out of 4 furries in the fandom are concerned, "If it feels good, do it."
When I became a Christian, one of the things I came to accept is that even though I was bullied terribly as a child. Even though I was sexually abused, even though I didn't have the greatest family dynamic or a lot of friends - none of that matters. I was made by GOD! He took the time to make me for some specific and special purpose. This is something that every Christian learns. Everyone has a purpose, everyone has a special place. Every human life has worth and value. The LORD does not make mistakes! When I saw myself as transgender, I would often obsess over body hair, or facial hair. I spent so much of my time shaving to try to present myself in such a way that I had online from a younger age. I obsessed over my body. My thoughts were often on myself and the pain I had to deal with. How could there be a God if it was His desire to make me have to live in a body that I felt did not truly represent how I really was? Or maybe there was no God and I was just the result of some strange cosmic mistake? Who knows?
But being a Christian means you realize you do have worth. You have worth and are loved by the LORD and there's nothing wrong with you the way the LORD made you. It was just that due to a variety of very traumatic events and circumstances that happened over my lifetime - I received some form of fake happiness and validation telling myself that I was this thing that I really was not. But was I truly happy? Not really - no matter how much I would tell myself that I was this way - it was a constant struggle. Letting go of that and just accepting myself as how I came into the world freed me from all that worry, all that stress, all that irritation. For me, identifying as transgender meant that there is no God - or that there is a God, but He is so cruel that for some reason I couldn't understand, He made me to suffer this indignity where everyone would see me as the opposite of how I truly felt I was.
And if there is one thing I've learned from taking the time to read The Holy Bible, to going to church, to being brave enough to be willing to accept a path where you are warned you will be ridiculed and mocked for walking it - it is that God is actually incredibly patient and merciful. Despite all the mistakes and screw-ups I've made in my lifetime, He gave me a way that I could be saved and at the end of this life, I could go and be with Him and accepted by Him, no questions asked. All I needed to do was accept what Jesus Christ did for me, and accept myself as the LORD made me. Thank you, Lord Jesus.